Wingman
by Rainbowkittyblossomwings
Summary: How do you wingman someone who doesn't want to be wingmaned? Saburo is determined to set up his best friend Kululu with Angol Mois, hoping to make Kululu happy and stop his loneliness. Unfortunately Kululu doesn't seem very interested in starting up any sort of sappy romance. Can Saburo bring these two stubborn people together and bring out their love?
1. Set Up

**Disclaimer: I do not own sgt frog.**

 **I'm going to try to write a story from Saburo's perspective. Wish me luck. I've had this idea in my head since I was in the hospital in February and almost died so it's nice to finally get it out.**

 **First chapter is mostly the set up and the prologue. I'll try to be nice to Saburo. For me, who makes no secret that he's not my most favorite character (but now no longer my least since I'm personally not a New Keroro fan at all) this will be a difficult task.**

 **Especially since I'm no good at fluff either. And this is entirely a fluff story.**

 **I need to get a cover image for this fic. But I don't know what one.**

* * *

Throwing his reality pen in the air and spinning it around, Saburo stood on the rooftop of his old high school, looking at the things below him and the people.

Looking down on things seemed much more Kululu's thing, not his. He preferred staring at the clouds.

Saburo was a dreamer by nature.

Sighing he leaned back onto the tiles of the roof to look at the sky.

The time for dreaming was over though. High school had ended. What everyone would call his fun life as a teenager was now over and he had to focus on this odd word called 'responsibility.'

The colleges he had applied to had told him if he was accepted or not and now he had to choose between them. Although his grades weren't that great because of his high number of absences, his IQ was pretty high and a few colleges had really wanted him to come to them.

There was one in particular he was interested in, but he wasn't 100% sure. It was a college far away in America so it would mean he'd have to study abroad but it taught more about entertainment and drama like he wanted. His aim was to make Mutsumi last forever, not get some boring desk job after all.

He had seen one being stuck in one boring job all your life could do to someone. He didn't want to turn into a man child like Keroro, or a big old grump like Giroro, or someone who bitterly took out their own miseries on others like Kululu.

But he wasn't sure still where to go. He had to do something he really dreaded- research.

"You're here, Saburo." Kululu opened the door to the rooftop and walked out to see him. This was where he and Saburo had met and it always brought back memories for him.

Saburo closed his eyes smiling. "You got my text. I knew you'd get here eventually. But no rush."

"Ku, ku, ku. You been waiting long?" Kululu asked. Kululu tried to lean against the wall and act cool.

"Only an hour." Saburo checked his watch. He threw over some pamphlets to Kululu.

"What are these?" Kululu asked, glancing through them. "I already told you I'm no Dororo. I'm not doing your homework for you. Ku, ku, ku." He teased.

"Not like I did my homework anyway." Saburo laughed. He was a procrastinator and he didn't mind that.

Kululu was glad he owned up to it, unlike Keroro. _Ick. It would be terrible if my friend turned into someone like the captain._

"They're college pamphlets. I'm trying to choose where I should go." Saburo explained, "I thought you might offer some good advice. I want a place with a good entertainment program, and you analyze these things better than I do."

Kululu tiredly looked through the pamphlets. _None of these are particularly close._ He realized. The closest one was across the country. So Saburo was going far off for college. "Ku, ku, ku. I don't know. Just pick one."

He was rather vague. His mouth twitched in irritation as if he didn't like any of them.

"Do you not like them?" Saburo asked, sitting up and glancing at Kululu.

"It's- It's not that." Kululu shrugged, "I mean keron doesn't have a college system so I'm a bit unused to more schooling. Seems more like a punishment than a reward for finishing up. Ku, ku, ku." He was silent for a moment as Saburo waited for him to tell him the problem. "So...You're going away, for how long?"

"If I go to the one in Japan I'll come back during the breaks possibly. The ones in the other countries though..." Saburo bit his lip, "Even with the reality pen helping me travel I'll be busy with internships and things. So earliest I'll be back is in four years."

"Pekoponian years..." Kululu clarified. Pekoponian years were a lot longer than Keronian years. His face seemed to look a bit glum, but he just nodded.

He didn't try to dissuade Saburo from his choices. He instead stood by his friend's dreams.

"You wouldn't miss us? Ku, ku, ku. Aliens sure cause some amusement in your life, don't they?" Kululu teased.

"I can find more aliens. And I'm not too worried about you guys invading." Saburo stood up, putting his hands in his pockets, "Natsumi and Fuyuki are more than enough to handle you guys." He knew Natsumi would be going off to college in a year's time, and Fuyuki would be going off in three years but likely Fuyuki would go somewhere close by because Momoka would build a college in his honor.

 _That girl sure has an obsession._ Saburo wanted to laugh at Momoka's love for Fuyuki, still unrequited and chasing after him over all these years. It was as if nothing had really changed since their time in middle school. Nothing had been resolved and no developments had happened between anyone at all. People were still struggling to chase their dreams- and falling quickly flat.

So the invasion issue was all sorted out. It would fall flat to like everything else.

He waited for Kululu to say something else. "Why? You going to miss me?" Saburo teased.

"Eh, I can get by fine without you. Ku." Kululu replied and tossed the pamphlet onto the ground in a crumpled ball. He was bored of looking at it. "I don't know pekoponian colleges very well, I can't much help with this sort of thing."

Saburo frowned. Kululu was brushing him off. Although he liked having long moments of silence and deep thought with Kululu where they just looked at the clouds, this was important and he wanted Kululu's help.

"Oh! Ku, ku, ku." Kululu sat down on the side of the roof, dangling his legs over the edge, "I forgot to tell you about this great prank I thought up on the platoon, I'm going to manipulate Captain into asking me to make an invention to turn them into insects and then I'll trap them in a jar...I call it operation 'lord of the flies'"

He was changing the subject. Saburo frowned.

"That seems kind of harsh." Saburo laughed. "What if they die in the jar?"

"Giroro hasn't yet." Kululu said honestly as if Giroro was already in the jar. Saburo almost expected him to bring up a jar and start tapping on it.

Saburo's eyes widened. Kululu was good at subject changing, but not perfect. He could see that the pamphlets Kululu had tossed to the ground were in tight balls as if he had crumpled them in anger. Kululu's hands were twitching as he tried to keep them balled up in fists. It was his little tells that he was irritated at Saburo. Angry at him for doing nothing wrong.

If there was one thing he worried about leaving it was Kululu, not because he would cause trouble and needed to be watched- that wasn't ever Saburo's job, but because he was worried Kululu would miss him. _I'm sure he'll be fine._ Saburo tried to tell himself. Kululu didn't seem that bugged out about him going to college.

They'd stay in touch over the computer. Kululu would be fine.

"You sure you won't miss me even a little bit?" Saburo teased again.

"Please." Kululu looked irritated, "I'll be happy to have you gone. I won't need to bail you out all the time over dumb things. Ku, ku, ku."

His words seemed casual, but Saburo wondered if that was what Kululu really thought.

* * *

Saburo wasn't dense. He was rather observant, smart and witty. And it didn't take long for him to realize in the conversation that Kululu would actually miss him quite a great deal. Whenever the subject of Saburo leaving came up Kululu would brush it aside and talk about something else.

Not only that but when Saburo did try to honestly talk to Kululu, Kululu would get annoyed and feel like he was stuck in a corner sounding a little irritated at him.

 _I bet he's not used to losing people._ Saburo realized with great dread. Kululu was a fun guy to hang around with, but he was a little socially awkward. Social norms weren't a cue that Kululu was smart about and he seemed inexperienced in the ways of friendship. Heck, it had taken years for Kululu to admit that Saburo was his friend and not his wave-buddy.

Kululu was clearly hurt that Saburo was leaving for a long time. And Saburo didn't know what to do to fix that. He couldn't, and more importantly he wouldn't give up his dreams just because Kululu wanted him to.

And that was another problem. Kululu didn't want him to. He was honestly being a good friend and not asking Saburo to not go. He didn't feel right asking Saburo to choose him over his dreams.

Kululu was a good friend, and Saburo really didn't want him to be so hurt over this.

"You know..." Saburo was quiet for a moment. It was time to stop joking around and stop looking at the clouds.

It was time to have a rare deep conversation with Kululu, something neither of them very much liked. When feelings came up neither of them particularly liked talking about it. "I'd leave eventually anyway. Our lifespans are different. Someday I'd age and die. What were you planning to do then?" Saburo asked.

Kululu clearly didn't look like he was very good at coping with people leaving. He seemed very angry and irritated, but most of all shocked like he hadn't ever expected to be asked that question, like that somehow wouldn't happen.

"What kind of question is that?" Kululu looked annoyed.

"I want to talk about our feelings, emotions, that sort of stuff." Saburo leaned on the ground sideways. "What are you planning on doing while I'm gone?"

Kululu stood up and walked towards the doors down to the rest of the school. "I'm not the type of guy who likes these sort of conversations about feelings. That's not my thing. I thought you of all people would respect that."

"Because you're inexperienced with emotions?" Saburo asked.

Kululu glared at him. "No. Because I'm a jerk, idiot. All my emotions are raw evil things. Talking about them just seems so childish and sappy." He turned the doorknob. "Anyway, good-bye. Have fun at loser school."

And with that Kululu was gone. Saburo just rubbed his forehead as Kululu left. He knew when his friend was irritated, even if Kululu wouldn't admit it.

* * *

Saburo didn't really hang out with the platoon or anyone else that Kululu had much interaction with at the same time Kululu did, but even without being in the area Saburo wasn't ignorant.

Kululu didn't really have many other friends besides Saburo and without Saburo most likely he would isolate himself instead of searching out others. Although Kululu liked to pretend he was a cool guy he didn't really seek out the companionship of others on his own terms. He either didn't know how, or didn't want to.

Still Saburo didn't want to be lonely. He spent the afternoon at the Hinata house to confirm his fears that Kululu wasn't exactly close to anyone else besides him.

"S-saburo!" Natsumi stuttered. Even after so many years she still had a childish crush on him which Saburo liked to chose to ignore. If she hadn't told him yet he had no reason to reject her, he could just ignore it.

"I was wondering if I could have some tea and cookies." Saburo smiled. Natsumi nodded eagerly sitting him down.

Saburo's eyes flicked around as he watched Fuyuki and Natsumi deal with their respective keronians. Fuyuki was trying to make sure Keroro didn't invade by giving him friendship speeches and Natsumi was teasing Giroro by flirting with Saburo, normal stuff like that.

He waited for Kululu to enter the room to steal some curry. Eventually Kululu entered the kitchen, balancing a plate of curry on his head.

"Natsumi, Fuyuki." He glared at them.

"Kululu." Natsumi frowned, "What do you want, pest?" She glared.

"Ku, ku, ku. Nothing. I would think you would be the one who wanted something." Kululu smirked.

"What do you mean?" Natsumi asked.

"Ku, ku, ku..." Kululu just laughed sinisterly.

Natsumi opened the refrigerator door quickly. All of her food had been replaced by squirming living creatures and alien food with eyes. She screamed.

"Kululu...Why?" Fuyuki just asked, "I mean alien stuff is cool, but that was disgusting. What are we supposed to eat?"

Kululu shrugged, "Not my problem!" He hummed and left out through his floor panels.

Natsumi and Fuyuki cried.

Saburo frowned. Just as he suspected Kululu's relationship with the Hinata's were awful.

"Sorry, Saburo...I know he's your friend, but geez...He's awful. Did he do that to your fridge too?" Natsumi asked.

"On occasion." Saburo admitted.

Natsumi just scowled.

"You're so brave, Saburo. So brave." Fuyuki gulped and pat him on the back.

* * *

Eventually Saburo went to his weekly shogi matches with Dororo. Dororo would give him unbiased opinions of if Kululu had friends.

Dororo was beating him in the current match, which gave Saburo the opportunity to talk.

"I...I have to ask...How does Kululu act like with the rest of the platoon? I mean, is he friends with them?" Saburo asked desperately and quickly.

Dororo laughed. Really laughed. "Oh...You were serious." He said after a second.

Things weren't budding well.

"How bad is it?" Saburo winced. "Do any of them like him?"

"Well, I...I don't really like him much honestly. I mean he always forgets about me on purpose!" Dororo cried, "He's so mean. But his relationship with me is nothing like his relationship with Giroro. Man is that terrible." He shuddered.

"Tell me." Saburo requested.

"Giroro's his guinea pig, he tests all sorts of lab experiments on him and winds him up. Giroro in return shoots at him and physically injures him. They're the worst relationship I've ever seen on Pekopon. And I've seen Tamama and Mois." Dororo scowled.

Saburo laughed. He had to. That was pretty bad.

"Then there's Keroro. Keroro's pretty terrible towards everyone, but Kululu just doesn't personally like him. Thinks he's incompetent. Picks on him less than the rest cuz he's the captain, but still picks on him and exploits his idiocy." Dororo explained, "I think he just plain dislikes Tamama. He picks on him too. So nobody in the platoon really likes him."

Saburo frowned. So none of his platoon mates were his friends like he suspected. _I mean I feel bad for Kululu but I also can't blame them. It sounds like Kululu was pretty awful._

Kululu had no friends. That was plain and simple. Although Saburo didn't really want to get into it, he realized he was going to have to roll up his sleeves and step into some emotional crap and try to fix Kululu's problems before he left or else Kululu would be lonely and miserable forever and likely take it out on other people.

 _Kululu and me aren't the type to get into deep emotional stuff. But he needs someone looking after him while I'm gone._ Saburo sighed. It would be his gift to Kululu.

He rubbed his hands together. What he needed was a replacement for the time he usual spent with Kululu. He needed to find the perfect replacement and train them to spend time with Kululu.

Saburo smiled. So he had figured out the solution for the problem- Kululu's loneliness.

 _I like to keep things casual, and Kululu does too, but I truly care for him as my best friend and wave buddy._ Saburo sighed. They were alike and friends but they didn't have everything in common. Kululu for example was very socially awkward and anxious. He was bad with people.

So Saburo briefly wondered if this was what Kululu would really want. A new friend to replace Saburo.

 _NAH._ Saburo realized suddenly. Kululu wouldn't be happy with a full replacement. What the real problem was was that Kululu needed someone who put him above everything else, including school and other things.

What Kululu needed to fix his loneliness was someone who would care him more than Saburo could.

 _Even better idea, Saburo! As a going away present I'll get him a girlfriend or boyfriend._ Saburo grinned. That should make him happy. He'd be less lonely because he'd have someone to do things with whenever he wanted, he could focus his attention on them instead of Saburo leaving and it would be pretty awesome to set his friend up.

It wasn't like the idea of setting up Kululu with someone hadn't flittered around Saburo's face before. He had always really wanted Kululu to get with someone. But then Saburo had seen Kululu's face and had decided against it. Also he didn't really want to be in the vicinity to see them if they were kissing. It was just way too awkward. That was some things he really didn't want to see.

But now with him leaving, it gave him the perfect opportunity to set Kululu up with what someone.

He had always kind of wanted Kululu to have someone in his life. He just never really knew if Kululu wanted one, but if he was lonely a relationship might display a temporary fix, and who knows? Kululu might have become really happy.

What Saburo really wanted was to see the smile on his best friend's face when Kululu had a significant other.

He cackled wickedly to himself as he beat Dororo in the shogi game. _I'm sure someone's got to be willing to date him. I mean the universe is a big place and I have a wide variety of friends._

Kululu couldn't be that unsociable and dislikable, could he?

* * *

Momoka was the first person that Saburo visited. He loved interviewing people and trying to figure out what they thought. He was an expert at it too from his radio show.

Momoka lightly set down a teacup. "What I think of Kululu?" She asked curiously. "He's scum!" She said dramatically.

 _Well...That was unexpected._ Saburo looked appaled. Did that mean Momoka was off the list of potential suitors? _Darn, it would have been nice to set him up with a rich girl. I would love to have a friend who dated riches._

"I mean sure, I suppose he helps me sometimes with Fuyuki, but he charges soooo much!" Momoka cracked her cup, looking annoyed.

Paul had another one ready.

Saburo laughed for a moment. "But would you date him?"

"He's too much like you! A jerk." Momoka growled, she looked at Saburo as if he was another love rival for Fuyuki's attention.

 _I gave up on Fuyuki years ago, but I guess I don't have to tell her that._ He kind of liked seeing Momoka annoyed.

"Besides, I detest his ugly face." Momoka growled.

"Mistress if something happened and overnight you fell in love with Kululu I would kill him myself." Paul reassured.

"That proves that you're the best butler of them all." Momoka sighed.

And that was the end of that.

* * *

Saburo visited Koyuki and Dororo next. He supposed it would have made more sense to ask them during the shogi game, but admittedly he had forgotten. Dororo was just so easy to forget about.

"Um...Out of curiosity, what do you two think of my friend, Kululu?" Saburo asked.

 _Koyuki's a cute girl. I would have dated her myself if there was a chance, but she was pretty clearly disinterested._ Saburo smiled. If he couldn't have Koyuki, maybe Kululu could.

"He's...Um...Unique..." Koyuki tried to be nice as she tried to smile.

Saburo raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess, you hate him too?"

"Oh good, now I don't have to beat around the bush." Koyuki looked relieved, "Yeah! He's so mean. I just...I sense a sinister energy from him. That and he doesn't bathe in actual water." Koyuki's nose wrinkled in disgust. "He smells bad."

Saburo couldn't argue with that. Kululu's habits were creepy. "So no chance you'd go out with him, huh?"

"Maybe if I was brainwashed." Koyuki admitted, "But only in that scenario. Or undercover."

"I wouldn't date him either!" Dororo tried to pipe into the conversation and feel included.

"Why not?" Saburo asked.

"He's a jerk! He drew a butt on my mask that I didn't know about for days. Then one time he glued it onto my body. He changed my color to yellow, let people play around in my memories. Invented a jack in the box to torture me for weeks." Dororo started citing examples, "One time he convinced everyone to pretend that I wasn't there and didn't exist so that I thought I had gone to an alternate reality where I wasn't ever born! He purposefully forgets about me just to annoy me! He's the person I hate second most!"

Saburo could guess the first most was Keroro.

Dororo just huffed and growled.

* * *

Next up was the Hinata house and Saburo found Keroro and Tamama playing with some gundam models first. He stopped himself from asking to join them.

"Hey, nice to see you." Saburo waved.

Tamama waved back. "Whaddya want?"

"I...I uhh wanted to ask what you thought about Kululu. Do you like him? Think he's cute?" Saburo leaned on a chair. If there was one chance for Kululu having a boyfriend it was either Tamama or Keroro. They were the two gayest frogs Saburo knew.

"EWWW! No." Tamama scowled, "There's only one booty I'm going after."

Keroro looked confused. "Boo...Teh?" It was like it was a foreign word. He glanced at Tamama's butt for a moment but then quickly went back to his gundam game.

"And I'll be perfectly honest what I think of Kululu, he's a jerk! He's ruined so many of my plans to be with Mr. Sergeant- I mean to hurt that woman." Tamama corrected, glancing at Keroro who still didn't know about his major crush.

Keroro just pretended to not be listening. He had stopped questioning Tamama's very loud plans of being lovey-dovey with him.

"Also he tries to feed me disgusting healthy foods. Like vegetables! He's not a cool older mentor figure in this platoon, he's just creepy." Tamama continued.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Keroro smiled.

"Um...Mr. Sergeant." Tamama giggled, "You don't need an older mentor figure." He pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Keroro's smile dropped. He still thought of himself as a kid.

"Kululu just won't let me be happy with my lover! So I hate him!" Tamama stuck his tongue out.

Saburo laughed and turned to Keroro. "You're the same? You...Wouldn't ever date him?" He had kind of hoped Kululu might have a chance with someone who liked Gundam. That was the mark of a superior being.

"I'm straight." Keroro looked startled that anyone would question his sexuality.

"Yeah." Tamama stuck up for Keroro for irony purposes as he sat in Keroro's lap seductively and put his arms around Keroro as if making fun of him himself. His legs wrapped around his waist and it was by far the sexiest Saburo had seen that two frogs could be. It was very weird.

"Yeah, listen to the private!" Keroro beamed as he pat Tamama's head. He didn't seem to notice the Tamama in his lap. It was too normal for him. Tamama nuzzled up to him.

"Anyway, even if I wasn't I wouldn't date Kululu of all people. I mean I'm the platoon leader so I don't mean to sound biased but...He's a jerk. He just doesn't fit in. And more importantly he keeps breaking my gundam models! How could I ever like someone like that?" Keroro asked annoyed. He wrapped a hand around Tamama's waist.

Saburo nodded. _Breaking a Gundam model is an unforgivable sin._ He agreed. There was no chance for Keroro or Tamama to be with Kululu.

He'd have to ask others.

* * *

Natsumi and Fuyuki were still hanging around each other and when asked the question of what they thought of Kululu, Fuyuki just shuddered for minutes.

"My...My books...The spoilers were written on the very first page!" Fuyuki cried. "And then he switched some of them with fiction! I don't care about fairy tales. I wanted to research big foot!"

Saburo pat him on the back as he cried.

 _Kululu might be my friend but I care too much about Fuyuki to punish him by placing him with Kululu._ Saburo sighed.

He glanced at Natsumi.

 _Maybe this one will work. I mean Natsumi likes me of all people. She could fall for Kululu too, right?_ Saburo tried to smile encouragingly at Natsumi.

Natsumi just screamed. Saburo had never seen her punch through a table before, but now he had.

"AUGHH! He's broken so many of my things and trashed them!" Natsumi then punched a wall. "He's the worst. And not just that but he's creepy, he keeps making these creepy CDs of me and selling them. And then I'll find them in Giroro's tent of all places! It's all Kululu's fault."

 _At least he's selling them to someone._ Saburo sighed. He cared too much about Kululu to set him up with someone as scary and violent as Natsumi. He decided that one wouldn't work either.

He stepped outside to talk to Giroro. Perhaps he'd have better luck with him.

"So...Out of a scale of 10 how likely would you be to spend time with Kululu?" Saburo knelt down next to him.

Giroro was the same as Natsumi. He screamed. "NEVER. Not over my cold dead body." He flexed his arms. "If you look closely I have plenty of scars. And none of them are from war. Most of them are from Kululu."

Saburo turned away.

"He turned me into a puppy! A puppy! And then he turned me into a fire hydrant. That isn't even the worst he's done to me. Soldier, you'll want to listen up. You're in danger too." Giroro grabbed Saburo and sat him down.

Saburo was forced to listen to hours of Giroro's rants about Kululu. The terrible things Kululu had done were limitless.

His eyes were twitching at the end.

At least Aki was home after all that. But Saburo didn't know how to think after hearing Giroro yell for so long.

Saburo found a moment to sneak off saying he needed the bathroom so he could talk to Aki. Aki looked tired after her long days work.

 _She might be the only one to like Kululu though._ Saburo remembered. "Hey Aki! I was umm...Wondering..."

"Too old for you." Aki said. Apparently she was used to being hit on.

Saburo frowned, "I was wondering what you thought of Kululu." He finished.

"Oh. He's okay." Aki finally said after a little thought.

Saburo smiled. At least someone wasn't bashing Kululu.

"He doesn't quite fit in though, does he?" Aki continued talking.

"Maybe you two would fit together-" Saburo tried to suggest.

"I mean he's just that sort of unsociable character that literally nobody likes." Her eyes sparkled as if finding the opportunity to rant about manga.

Saburo grit his teeth. _Uh-oh._

"I mean I have nothing personal against him, but every manga needs a character that everybody bashes on and hates. A scapegoat. Someone annoying. Kululu's that sort of creepy character in real life that will likely never go anywhere and nobody will ever be satisfied with!" Aki started ranting, relating this to real life. She continued to diss Kululu.

Saburo tried to back away. "So if this was a manga everybody would hate Kululu?" He didn't like Aki talking about his friend that way.

"Well yes. But if this was a fandom..." Aki rubbed her chin, "I think you'd be the character everyone bashes on and hates."

"What?" Saburo was surprised by that. But he was so charismatic and cool and perfect.

"Not just for your perfect personality type but because of your connection with Natsumi. In a love triangle someone is always bashed and you treat her rather coldly. I mean how many times have you saved her from an alien invasion? Giroro clearly deserves her, so likely the fandom would want you dead." Aki continued to rant.

Saburo didn't know what to say. He just backed away in shock and his ego hurting.

* * *

Eventually he reached Angol Mois who was working in the base and the last person he could interview.

"What do you think about Kululu?" He asked tiredly and ready for some more Kululu bashing. He was all out of hope, whoever Kululu wanted to be set up with would be a very tough journey for Saburo to try to convince someone why Kululu wasn't terrible.

"He's cool." Mois smiled and chipperly replied, "He's really creatively minded and fun to be around."

Saburo was surprised that it was a positive opinion. "...Really?"

Mois smiled and nodded.

"You don't mind that he's a jerk?" Saburo asked.

"He's a jerk?" Mois didn't seem to know this. She shook her head. "Never been that terrible to me."

Saburo smiled. "So...He's...Your friend?"

"Yep! I consider him a good friend. I admire him a lot." Mois grinned, happy to admit this.

Saburo sighed in relief. At least one person found Kululu tolerable. One in the whole wide world. _And if something happens and I can't set him up with someone he won't be totally alone because he has Mois._ Saburo remembered Kululu mentioning that they were close before. Apparently he valued her as a co-worker, whatever that meant. It was low on the compliment level but it meant something.

Maybe Mois was Saburo's best bet.

But Saburo didn't even know if Kululu wanted a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

* * *

He eventually took Kululu out for some curry take out as a ruse to figure out what romantic experience Kululu had in his life and his preferences. He had figured out what other people thought of Kululu but Kululu's interests were more important than theirs.

If Kululu wanted to be set up with someone as horrible as Natsumi for one thing, by golly Saburo would set him up with her.

"Hey, Kululu..." Saburo pretended to be distracted, "You ever dated before?"

Kululu looked shocked by the question. "Ummm...I'm not really interested. Ku, ku, ku. I appreciate the offer but I really just see you as a friend." His rejection was polite.

Saburo faltered for a moment realizing that Kululu had thought he was hitting on him. He felt shocked. "No man, that wasn't what I was getting at ALL!" Saburo denied. He felt incredibly awkward.

Kululu rubbed his arm sheepishly. "Sorry." He apologized. It was his bad.

"Well, so have you ever dated?" Saburo asked.

"Ku." Kululu realized he was asking seriously, "With my face?" he gestured. "Nope! Never had the chance." Kululu laughed, "I however do have a lot of plans on how to date someone if I get the chance. If some poor person falls hopelessly in love with me it will be the best opportunity ever to be a huge jerk. I've got a ton of break up plans and ways to be the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. Ku, ku, ku. Want to hear them?" Kululu asked. He waited for Saburo to show interest and laugh.

Saburo didn't.

"Are you into girls or boys Kululu?" Saburo asked quickly trying to figure out what Kululu wanted.

"Ku, ku, ku. Well, I'm not into YOU!" Kululu mocked.

Saburo glared. Kululu realized he was being serious again for some reason.

He shrugged after a moment of thinking about it, giving Saburo the chance to have him seriously consider this. "I don't really care when it comes to keronians. I don't much like them anyway. They're all equally disinteresting. But my biology and preference is for females, primarily of the pekoponian body type variety. Ku, ku, ku." He gave an honest answer.

Saburo smiled. _Girlfriend it is then._ He glanced at Kululu and gave a sinister smirk. It wasn't even about making Kululu less lonely now, he just wanted to do it for fun.

He was suddenly super determined to do this for his friend. It was maybe the most challenging intellectual thing Saburo would do, setting Kululu up.

Kululu picked his nose absent-mindidly.

 _Whether you like it or not I am going to find the girl of your dreams and make you fall in love!_ Saburo laughed to himself trying to avoid how creepy and generally unromantic his friend was.

Suddenly it hit Saburo like a brick. He didn't know what kind of girl was the girl of Kululu's dreams and to set him up with.

It was the second hardest step of his plan.

 _I'll go on a quest and find his type and figure out who would work well!_ It couldn't be that hard, right?

After that everything would be smooth sailing. Saburo tried to whistle. The task at hand...It wasn't fighting an alien invasion after all, so by that logic it wasn't as hard as it sounded.

But it was Kululu of all people. And Saburo didn't know how hard it would be.

* * *

 **I'm going to actually try to include author's notes on what I wrote and things like that. The reason Saburo is going off to college instead of just deciding on a whim to set Kululu up is because well, 1.) I wanted to age the humans up a bit and show that, 2.) I myself am a college student and it is easier to relate to people around the same age as me.**

 **Ummm...Romance doesn't solve loneliness? That's a cheap thing for people to think, and it was a mistake in my chapter summary but I didn't know how to fix it.**

 **I'm sorry there wasn't much Angol Mois in this chapter. Back when I was younger I used to have this weird shyness about not having enough of my otp or talking about them. Like I wanted to write fanfiction and instead of writing about my otp of the time (Which was shikatema, from naruto, I wrote about sasusaku because I didn't want to be selfish?) I'm always slightly afraid of getting shy like that and not pushing hard for my otp in my own fanfictions because ya know, it's my fanfictions I can do what I want.**

 **I would very much appreciate suggestions on ways to set two people up, from your own wingman stories to shoujo sub-plots that you've seen side friends try to do. The story could possible be longer if you suggest more ideas!**

 **Please review.**


	2. Type

**Another chapter of this thing. I wanted to post the first two together so you guys could understand the set-up.**

* * *

His quest was about to began. He shoved his pen into his pant pocket like it was a sword that he would inevitably pull from his scabbard.

As if on some sort of epic quest to save a fair maiden that was a princess, Saburo looked at Kululu's primary residence with determination.

The Hinata House. It towered tall over Saburo like any dragon's cave would, but it was where he would began his quest.

Finding Kululu's perfect maiden or match was no easy task, and Saburo wasn't sure how to first go about it.

 _Some people develop interests in others based how others act towards them._ Saburo remembered reading on the web. Body language was an easy sign to tell if someone was interested and the mind would subconsciously like people who liked them more.

Kululu was probably the same way. He would probably think favorably of anyone who seemed to like him.

 _But nobody likes him!_ Saburo recalled. Kululu wasn't really anyone's friend, except for maybe Angol Mois. And on the brief occasions that they had talked about her Kululu had seemed rather annoyed by her obsession about Keroro. She didn't seem that into Kululu.

 _Maybe he's someone's type though._ Even if they didn't like Kululu because his personality was terrible along with his appearance, perhaps they sub-consciously liked him at least a little bit because he was their type.

He could try to figure out what the women of the Hinata House thought, plus Koyuki and Momoka. But what type category did Kululu fit into?

Creepy jerk? Perverted stalker? _Nah, be nice about this Saburo._ Saburo reminded himself. He might have not been attracted to Kululu but there had to be some merit to his type.

He bit his lip trying to think about Kululu if he was a manga character. What type would he fit into? How would Saburo market him?

"The jerk with glasses." Saburo snapped his fingers. That was so Kululu. And it neglected to mention his other flaws.

If someone had this type, perhaps Kululu was more likely to like them because they would have picked up on that he was this type.

But Saburo knew nobody would probably admit this.

He knocked on the door and saw that Natsumi opened it.

"Y-you're here again!" Natsumi smiled. It was rare to see Saburo two days in a row. He tended to disappear a lot.

"Natsumi!" Saburo smiled. She was just the person he wanted to see. He grinned to himself. For once he had a plan. "I actually wanted to see you, suggest something to you."

Natsumi seemed to stand up straighter, blushing a lot. "Y-yes?" Perhaps she thought Saburo would ask her something about their relationship.

"I heard something about MyRadio. That it's super cool." Saburo shrugged, "I was thinking it would be fun to have a viewing party and gather all your friends to write letters and listen to it. I can help you guys write letters!"

Natsumi smiled. She actually really liked that idea. "And you'll be at the viewing party too, right?"

"Sure." Saburo agreed, knowing he'd ditch. After all he'd be reading their letters on air. "I have a friend in the radio business, I heard that Mutsumi's next show will only read letters about people's various 'types.'"

Natsumi gasped. "You mean...If I write a letter about my type I'll actually hear my letter being read?" She seemed shocked. The universe might explode if that happened.

Saburo nodded. "I promise you this is a definite in. Nobody else has this information!"

"I'll make all sorts of nice snacks for the viewing party!" Natsumi was so thankful. "Thank you, Saburo! That's such a fun idea!"

Saburo smiled. He was doing this for Kululu, but he also kind of just wanted to help his ratings. He was glad this would benefit him in a way.

 _Good thing Natsumi's such a fan._ Actually a lot of Kululu's friends were fans of his radio show. Giroro was a big fan too, he noticed. Giroro had probably gotten into it to impress Natsumi.

He actually didn't know if Koyuki, Momoka or Mois listened to the radio. But now was their chance to get into it. He was sure to get some new fans after this. And figure out their type.

* * *

Saburo sat in his recording studio, going through the letters and finding the ones written by the Keroro Platoon. He hadn't made it to the viewing party but Kululu had told him that he'd look after things.

"So today on My radio we're having a special episode about love!" Saburo tried to have his sweet voice as he spoke into the speaker. "Or more specifically what type you're drawn to. What characters appeal to you most."

He couldn't see how anyone reacted. It didn't matter to him. All he needed was the letters.

"These letters are specifically about what kind of person you'd most like to date!" Saburo clarified. He realized he should have probably clarified that sooner as soon as he picked up Koyuki's.

"From Snow." He read, "The type I'm most drawn to is the ninja girl type. I'd like to be strong and cool just like them. But if there's a competition I'll shove my dagger into their back. I will beat them and rise up onto the top."

Saburo just frowned. _She...She totally didn't get it. This is about what 'type' she wants to be._ "Hahaha, I see one of our listeners is confused. I'll...I'll just read the next one from D66."

He picked up his letter. It had a tree drawn on it.

"Sensitive and shy, people like that who understand me are who I like best. Kindness blossoms and is the most beautiful." Saburo read. _Well, I didn't care much about Dororo's opinion but that definitely isn't Kululu._ At least Dororo had gotten what he was asking for.

He grabbed Momoka's letter next. He smiled. It was the first time he had gotten a Momoka letter. "The next is from someone named Peach, what kind of beautiful type will she have-" He stopped himself as he saw the words written on the letter. All it read was Fuyuki. "Umm...She says the kind boy!" He lied.

 _Momoka's is way too specific. That isn't Kululu either._ He sighed.

Grabbing another letter, he hoped he'd have better luck with Tamama. But being a boy he didn't care. "From TMM in Oku-Tokyo, he says...I like the hot type." Saburo laughed, "I think we all do, TMM." He continued reading, "Wait...The charismatic and leaderly type. Has to have a fab butt. Ummm..."

It got way too dirty for even Saburo to read. And went into too much detail about the color green. "Next from Fuyuki! I don't think he really used any sort of code name." Saburo was briefly interested in what Fuyuki had to say. "He says the type I'm after is the loch ness monster or big foot. I've never discovered them! I'll learn all their secrets!"

Saburo wept. Yet another person who didn't understand the type thing. He sighed and went onto Keroro's letter.

"From 700..." Saburo sighed, it was Keroro, "He says 'as the main character I deserve a perfect match. I'd like a guy into gundam...And just because I said guy doesn't mean I'm gay! It's just that guys into gundam are so much more fun than girls. I just want any collectors dream of having a friend into gundam models, right? There's nothing really that gay about this and if there is someone else wrote my letter for me!" It was pages and pages of denial.

Saburo just winced. "Um...Well, sure I believe you, 700." He laughed and grabbed Giroro's next.

Giroro was the person Kululu was always harassing. "From G66, he writes, no surprise," Saburo said snarkily to himself, "The warrior type. I want a tough girl who can go across the battlefield and blow up enemy soldiers."

Saburo snickered a bit. All Giroro's letters were about war.

There were two letters left that had been written. Natsumi and Angol Mois's. Aki probably hadn't attended the party.

Saburo did the unthinkable and grabbed Natsumi's letter, ready to read it. "From 723, she writes that her type is the bad boy rebel type." _No surprise there._ He wondered if that was close to the jerk with glasses.

It was the closest he had. But Natsumi treated everyone but Saburo the same. Violently.

He sighed and picked up the last letter, "From Planetdestroyer666..." Saburo's eye twitched for a moment at the name. Angol Mois sure knew how to pick her codenames. "She writes,

 _I like people who are dorks, a little bit nerdy, you could say the cute and fun type? But intelligently dorky. No idiots here! Giroro isn't really my thing, I mean sure he talks about weapons all the time but he's how to say this...really dumb?"_

Saburo snickered a bit. She had used Giroro by name as she dissed him. He continued reading.

" _But ideally I'd also like to destroy things with someone! I mean how romantic would it be to destroy a city with a lover? Hand in hand causing mass chaos? I want to destroy a solar system with my lover. So they have to be someone who enjoys destruction. So my type would be the intelligent dorky person who likes destruction."_ Mois ended her letter with a heart.

Saburo realized she probably didn't know it needed to be a short letter, but he smiled nonetheless. Liking destruction was the closest and easiest way to say 'jerk' that he knew of without actually saying a jerk. And Kululu was an intelligent dork.

 _That's two strikes for Mois since she tolerates him._ He was honestly surprised that she hadn't written anything about prince charming. But he was happy that her letter was at least somewhat close to Kululu's type.

Mois might be the best chance he had to love for Kululu.

* * *

Natsumi set out cookies and tea for everyone as they crowded around her radio in the living room. She was so ready for this.

"Saburo couldn't make it." Kululu told her, "Something came up. But ku, ku, ku. I'm here in his place!"

Natsumi frowned. "Joy." She sarcastically rolled her eyes. This night still couldn't be ruined even if Kululu was there. No matter what jerk thing he had she was still going to listen to Mutsumi's radio station and she was sure to actually hear her letter on air.

She sat down next to Giroro. "I'm so excited! And so many of my friends are actually going to hear Mutsumi!"

"I...I hope you enjoy it..." Giroro blushed. He wondered if Natsumi would figure out he was writing about her.

"Shhh! It's starting." Natsumi hushed excitedly. Everybody started listening. Koyuki trying to act normal since this was important to Natsumi and Dororo sitting by her side.

Keroro was surrounded by both Tamama and Mois. Momoka was trying to work up the courage to hold Fuyuki's hand.

"So today on My radio we're having a special episode about love!" Mutsumi told them.

"Yes! So Saburo was right!" Natsumi smiled.

"Urgh...I wish I had an in to Mutsumi's radio." Giroro wished.

"Kululuko does." Kululu winked. Giroro shuddered.

"Or more specifically what type you're drawn to. What characters appeal to you most." Mutsumi continued. "These letters are specifically about what kind of person you'd most like to date!"

A lot of people blushed. Fuyuki and Koyuki just glanced at each other confused.

"From Snow." Mutsumi read,

"Oooh! Mine!" Koyuki jumped up, excited.

"The type I'm most drawn to is the ninja girl type. I'd like to be strong and cool just like them. But if there's a competition I'll shove my dagger into their back. I will beat them and rise up onto the top."

Koyuki giggled. "I also am drawn to people that I'm hired to hit."

"Koyuki, this was about the type of person you like. What you think is attractive." Natsumi put her hand on her friend's shoulder embarrassed for her.

"Oh...Well then I like Natsumi and Dororo!" Koyuki declared.

Dororo blushed. Natsumi just sighed and shook her head at her confused friend.

"Hahaha, I see one of our listeners is confused. I'll...I'll just read the next one from D66." Mutsumi said sheepishly.

Dororo hid under his mask as everyone looked at him.

"Sensitive and shy, people like that who understand me are who I like best. Kindness blossoms and is the most beautiful."

"Oooohhh...Dororo has a type!" Keroro teased.

"Bet nobody understands you. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu mocked. "Kindness could blossom for you if only someone remembered you."

Dororo cried.

Mutsumi continued reading. "The next is from someone named Peach, what kind of beautiful type will she have-" There was a pause. "Umm...She says the kind boy!"

Momoka blushed. "Wait! He changed my letter! Operation confession failed!" She looked super mad and crinkled a paper.

Mutsumi continued reading. "From TMM in Oku-Tokyo, he says...I like the hot type." There was laughter "I think we all do, TMM." He continued reading, "Wait...The charismatic and leaderly type. Has to have a fab butt. Ummm..." There was a stop and Mutsumi stopped reading.

"What did the rest say?" Keroro asked curiously looking at Tamama.

"I guess it wasn't appropriate to air on a radio station." Tamama shrugged.

"Next from Fuyuki! I don't think he really used any sort of code name." Mutsumi read, "He says the type I'm after is the loch ness monster or big foot. I've never discovered them! I'll learn all their secrets!"

"Fuyuki, this was about romance..." Natsumi sighed.

"Do you not have a type? Or are you just into big foot?" Momoka clung onto Fuyuki's arm. Would she have to dress up as big foot?

"I think I confused things. My bad." Fuyuki apologized.

"From 700..." Mutsumi sighed, "He says 'as the main character I deserve a perfect match. I'd like a guy into gundam...And just because I said guy doesn't mean I'm gay! It's just that guys into gundam are so much more fun than girls. I just want any collectors dream of having a friend into gundam models, right? There's nothing really that gay about this and if there is someone else wrote my letter for me!"

Crickets chirped at the amount of denial in the letter.

"Well there isn't anything gay about it." Keroro tried to plead with his friends. "Fuyuki, you believe me, right? Friendship is important and you messed up your letter about types!"

"I know what I heard." Tamama said teasily smiling. Keroro scooted away.

"I believe you, Uncle. Sometimes people mess things up in their letters." Mois pat Keroro's back.

"Uhhh..." Fuyuki had a suspicion that Keroro hadn't messed things up.

"Um...Well, sure I believe you, 700." Mutsumi laughed. He continued onto the next letter. "From G66, he writes, no surprise..."

"What does he mean no surprise?" Giroro asked angrily.

"The warrior type. I want a tough girl who can go across the battlefield and blow up enemy soldiers." Mutsumi read.

Natsumi just glanced down at Giroro and giggled a bit. "I think the most normal thing about that letter was the tough girl type."

Giroro blushed. He just heat up. "Oh stop your laughing. I bet your letter is bad too-" Giroro told her. He hoped he was mentioned in her letter.

Natsumi looked excited.

"From 723..." Mutsumi started.

"Clickie." Kululu pressed a button and the house went out of power. He had to keep the balance of the universe in check. Sure he had come up to listen to the viewing show because he liked Mutsumi's radio show, but being a jerk to Natsumi was an added bonus.

Natsumi looked in shocked at the darkness. She just blinked as she waited for her letter to be read finally. But it never happened. She stood up and ran towards Kululu. "My letter wasn't read!"

"Mine wasn't either." Mois tried to reassure that she wasn't alone, "It's okay, Natsumi."

"Yeah, no real loss of losing out on your two letters." Kululu shrugged, "I can guess what either of your letters were talking about, Natsumi's was probably about how stupid she is and Mois's was probably just pages upon how pages about how great the captain is. I just saved the universe one. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu was willing to listen to Angol Mois's letter but it came after Natsumi's. So it had to go.

Mois didn't dare correct him so she just sat back down.

"Grenade me." Natsumi stuck her hand out as Giroro handed her a grenade as if it was a ritual. Natsumi blew up Kululu.

Someday...Someday her letter would be read on air.

* * *

There were two strikes in Angol Mois's favor. But Saburo didn't really know what Kululu thought of her, or if he had a sort of dream girl or type.

The only way to find those things out were bribery. And although he knew it would deplete his wallet he took Kululu out for curry, his treat.

He knew that was a grave mistake, offering to pay for Kululu's curry could be thousands of yen, he ate so much and always the most expensive of curries, but he had to so that he could get Kululu off guard.

Kululu of course suspected nothing. Once curry was involved he was weak willed and easy to talk to and get things out of.

"So...What kind of girls do you think you'd be into...?" Saburo didn't eat any curry himself, he didn't really like it, so he played with a spoon and looked at it instead on the table.

"I don't know." Kululu shrugged and shoveled more food into his mouth.

Saburo smiled. Maybe he could ask him specific questions then. "All right... Who do you think is the sexiest person on Earth?"

"Aki Hinata." Kululu said easily, "The data shows that she has all the parts that pekoponian males find attractive, out of a poll of males she is something that lots of people would find sexy."

Saburo smiled. _Okay. So it's Aki then. Aki and him would be a good match._ He could see them together. They'd be a responsible pair. She was a little old, would Aki be rocking the cradle if they were a thing? But if Kululu wanted that he'd try.

 _Better ask more questions just to be sure._ Saburo realized. Maybe Kululu cared more for personality than body type after all. "Who's the strongest?" He smirked.

"Easy, Giroro. He's super tough. He lifted a boat once. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu continued eating.

Saburo frowned. _He said he liked girls though..._ But maybe Kululu liked Giroro's muscles. Saburo was beginning to get confused.

"What about the most flexible? Agile and fastest?" Saburo asked.

"Koyuki. Easy question." Kululu looked interested in this ranking game.

Saburo frowned. "Cutest?"

"Angol Mois. She's so cute it hurts." Kululu frowned to himself. He pushed a plate of curry away about to stop after saying that, but then quickly changed his mind and went back to eating.

Saburo frowned. Nobody had two of the same answer. "Most intellectually stimulating?"

"Myself. I'm the smartest. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu boasted. "Most people have a trait they're good at after all in this ranking game. I don't think I can find anything the captain is best at though." Kululu mocked.

Saburo realized with utter horror that Kululu wasn't answering any of the answers out of personal bias. Just like what he had said about Aki being sexiest, he was using data points and what he thought other people thought. He was answering stereotypical answers. _He's not thinking about what he likes at all, he's just choosing what he thinks fits best!_ Saburo frowned, annoyed. Kululu didn't realize that he was supposed to use bias.

Saburo narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kululu. Had Kululu figured things out that quickly? That Saburo was trying to figure out what kind of girlfriend he wanted so he could set him up with someone?

Perhaps this was a mind game where only one of them would emerge victorious. And Saburo was desperate to win. Saburo tried to appear like he wasn't annoyed or unnerved. He leaned his elbow on the table. "If you had an ideal...Partner...What do you think some of their qualities would be?" Saburo didn't use the term girlfriend anymore so Kululu would be off-guard. Instead he used partner so it was something just like work.

Kululu was sure to take the bait and answer.

Kululu thought for a moment feeling obligated to answer because of his full stomach. "I guess I would work best with someone who would get along with me, Ku, ku, ku. That's simple. Ya know, put in the effort to get to know me and talk to me?" Kululu looked at Saburo briefly, "You aren't trying to make me work on some project for you with someone are you?"

"Nope." Saburo shook his head.

"Ah, you must just be asking to see how I get along with my co-workers." Kululu realized. He suspected this had something to do with Saburo leaving, but he tried to push that out of his head. "I would also like someone who enjoys technology, thinks it's cool and all that."

Saburo's eyes widened and he slapped his forehead. _Of course they'd have to like technology! That's a given. He's an inventor._ So someone who was rather kind to Kululu and liked technology.

That was rather easy. He grinned at Kululu, almost sinisterly. _I did get your type! I got at least something._

Of course he didn't know one key detail. Did Kululu want a jerk like him or someone fully kind? They had to get the effort to know Kululu, but he didn't know if that was a jerk or kind girl. Narrowing his eyes and looking at Kululu, he couldn't figure it out.

Kululu's face didn't betray much of his thoughts or what he wanted besides a loud scream of 'curry'.

He stared at Kululu trying to desperately observe him and hypothesize for two minutes. His eyes started watering and he put his head on the table, done with looking at Kululu.

He sighed. He couldn't figure it out. "I surrender!"

"Hmmm...?" Kululu looked confused, "Random staring contest or something? I don't much like those. But I suppose after Mois I could probably beat anyone except her. Ku, ku, ku. I sure wish she could just lose one..."

Saburo ignored him. He wanted to be vague, not direct, but he prodded almost jokingly. "I was just thinking of who your dream girl might be. I just can't figure it out. So who would be your dream girl?" He laughed as if trying to make the conversation casual.

He had never asked Kululu directly though. He assumed Kululu wouldn't answer and would brush him off like always.

Kululu looked at him confused for a moment. But he actually moved his mouth and answered. "That's an easy question. Angol Mois's my dream girl." His answer was so honest.

Saburo looked completely shocked. Not because Kululu liked Angol Mois but because he had said it out loud and so easily. "W-what?"

"Ku, ku, ku. You look like an idiot. Don't know what you want with that information but I'm sure it's nothing horrible." Kululu teased, "What's so surprising about her being my dream girl?"

"I'm...I'm not surprised..." Saburo admitted. He suddenly recalled how much Kululu talked about Angol Mois, how much he brought her up and how much he disliked her obsession with Keroro. It all made sense now. He had a huge crush on her! "I'm...I'm just surprised that you said she was your dream girl." He admitted.

Kululu shrugged, "I've made my peace with it. Sure it was unsettling for a while but she's in most of my dreams. There's no denying that she's my dream girl. Ku, ku, ku. Just...Don't tell Mois, okay? I'm sure she'd misinterpret it or something. I'm just glad you have a good head on your shoulders and won't."

Saburo just stared at him. Kululu talked about Mois as if he wasn't really swooning but just talking rather simple, so matter-of-fact.

"She is awfully cute..." He said to himself still confused that Kululu could admit things like this.

Kululu shrugged. "Here's the bill." He dropped the bill in front of Saburo. It was a lot. "Ku, ku, ku. Bye."

He walked away. _I don't know why he's so surprised. Why would I be ashamed of Mois being my dream girl?_ Kululu was very confused. _'Girl of my nightmares' is a title I think is very fitting. I guess maybe my fear is a little unnerving or embarrassing, but really...Who wouldn't have Mois in their nightmares?_

Unfortunately for Saburo, he didn't know that Kululu didn't know what the term 'dream girl' had meant and misinterpreted it for himself. It implied to Mois in a different sort of way that Saburo didn't know about.

He had confused dreams and nightmares.

Saburo however was joyous despite the large bill. "I can do this!" He said to himself. He could hook them up.

 _I vow to hook you up with your dream girl, Kululu._ Saburo smiled. Mois and Kululu would be a thing and Saburo would be responsible for it.

* * *

 **I am sorry that I have to include one-sided Sabunatsu in this story. With Saburo being the main character, it is inevitable if I want to keep characters in-character. However I am a gironatsu shipper so keep in mind that Giroro will always have feelings for her and probably some day she will fall for him.**

 **But yeah...Natsumi's probably going to be going after Saburo in this story. I apologize.**

 **Seeing the character's reactions to the letter wasn't going to be a thing in the original chapter but I added it in! I should have probably changed what the characters were writing into poems, but I couldn't think of any good poems. =( Do you think I should make it poetry instead?**

 **Please review.**


	3. The Blind Date

**Ah yes, the first chapter with actual kurumois in it and them interacting.**

 **I'm going to try to respond to reviews in the author's note up top in this fic. If it goes well I will continue the trend in other fics.**

 **To SoulessAlpha: Yeah, the one-sided Gironatsu is sad. Likely it won't get resolved in this fic though which I weep about. I kind of keep making Keroro into one really big gay joke too. It's just a habit of mine.**

 **Thank you everyone else for faveing and following!**

* * *

Yet again Saburo found himself in the Hinata House, or more specifically the base where Angol Mois dwelled.

 _Should be easy._ He tried to think to himself, _I'm sure that once they're together they'll hit it off great._ After all, Angol Mois was the only problem with his plan. Kululu already liked Mois so if he wanted to make a relationship work he had to get them on an actual date and get them to hit it off.

That was why he decided to do the simplest and easiest thing, just set them up on a blind date. A date was the end goal anyway, to get them into a permanent relationship.

He knew how Kululu worked, but he just hoped Angol Mois would agree to it.

 _They'd be a cute pair. Once they're together and alone things should be fine._ Saburo nodded to himself thinking. He tried to announce himself as he stepped into the room where Angol Mois worked, the sort of headquarters of the base.

She was typing on a keyboard, not really paying attention to intruders and looking at a screen. What was most important was that she was alone.

 _I'm just so glad I found out the person that Kululu likes._ Saburo sighed in relief to himself as he walked up to Mois. She really was a cute girl. Kululu was sure to be very happy with her.

He tapped her on the shoulder briefly. Mois looked up.

"Saburo!" She was surprised. "What are you doing here? Do you need to speak to Kululu?" She quickly tapped something to get the security footage up, to figure out where Kululu was. "I think he should be in his lab..."

Saburo smiled. "Actually I wanted to talk to you."

Angol Mois covered her mouth in momentary surprise. This was a rare occurrence. She spun away from her work and stood up. "Of course. What is it you need?"

"I was wondering if you'd do a favor for me." Saburo kept his smile calm, knowing that Angol Mois was very easy to con into things. Simply asking her for it would probably work. "I have this friend of mine, who's really attractive..." That of course was a lie, "Super nice," Another lie, "And a great match for you. Turns out he'd love to date you. I was wondering if it would be all right if I set the two of you up on a blind date? You'd have a great time." Saburo promised.

Angol Mois's smile dropped as she thought about it and looked unsure. "I...I don't know...I mean I don't really know who this is." She pointed out, "And I just don't know if I want to do it..." Never mind the fact that she was saving herself for Keroro.

Saburo frowned at her unsureness. He put an arm around her shoulder and tried to appear friendly. "He's a super good guy. You'll have the time of your life with him. And he absolutely adores girls like you. I'm sure he'd fall in love fast with you." Saburo cooed. "Just please agree, one date! That's all I'm asking! And then he can die happy."

He of course would keep pushing after one date if it didn't go well, but Saburo was over-confident and felt that if Kululu and Angol Mois just had one date they'd fall madly in love with each other.

Angol Mois sighed as she looked at Saburo's begging expression. Nobody had ever put her in a circumstance like this, begging her to date someone. _New experiences are fun though._ She was a bit curious what this guy was like after all.

A date with someone that wasn't Keroro was a once in a lifetime chance. And more importantly the aspect of a date wasn't something she was ever given. _Better let that poor pekoponian guy die happy since I am going to destroy his planet after all._ "Okay, fine." She sighed reluctantly.

Saburo looked over-joyed. Like he had won something big. "Yesss!"

"I just have to ask, does blind date mean I have to be blind?" Mois was confused. She didn't understand this pekoponian custom, but perhaps it was more of a universal one.

Saburo snickered. "No. It just means that I'll set up where the date is and who's it with. Please..." He wrote down the address of a small bakery. "Meet there tomorrow at 2 pm."

Angol Mois nodded. She hoped this experience wasn't too painful. But secretly she was a little bit excited.

* * *

Kululu was up next and Saburo knew he'd be much tougher to convince than Angol Mois. Luckily he knew Kululu's weaknesses.

 _Whenever I'm in trouble he'll do anything to bail me out._ Saburo recalled. If he pretended that he had agreed to a date and just needed Kululu to go instead because he didn't want to Kululu was sure to accept the invitation.

"Yo." Saburo leaned over Kululu's chair. Kululu didn't even look up.

"What is it you want?" Kululu asked. Saburo only ever visited him when he wanted something. It was still better than Keroro though.

"I need you to go on a date with a friend of mine." Saburo grinned.

Kululu stopped working. That request was the last thing he ever thought he'd hear Saburo say. "What? As like a prank?"

"No. Just a blind date." Saburo shook his head. "Something simple."

"Well then no. Ku, ku, ku. Never." Kululu went back to working.

"What? Why?" Saburo asked.

"Don't want to. Why would I want to go on something as stupid as a date?" Kululu asked, "Don't even know why'd you suggest something like that. And before you tell me about how great this person is read my lips, I do not care. Ku, ku, ku."

"Actually I want you to go on the date because I promised a girl a date that I really didn't want to go on." Saburo sighed and pretended to be distressed, "I'm in a real pickle here but I can't just stand her up. She'll be so disappointed if nobody's there."

"So you want a substitute? I think she'll notice the frog head. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu pointed out.

"No matter. You can probably win her over and woo her if I was able to while putting in no effort." Saburo pointed out.

Kululu didn't look like he believed that. "I don't want to." He repeated again.

"Well you have to because you're my friend." Saburo teased, "You can handle this sort of thing. I don't want to be around her, but I think you can handle it."

Kululu sighed. So basically Saburo was asking for a favor to help him out. He didn't really want to go on a date, but if it would aid Saburo he was willing. "Fine..." He agreed reluctantly. "But you owe me one big time. Ku, ku, ku."

"Agreed." Saburo grinned. _Setting you up on a date with Mois is my way to make up for this._ He tried not to look to scheme-y. He had done the impossible. He had made both of them agree to a date.

He was sure it would all go smoothly from here.

* * *

Saburo didn't come to the cafe with them. He didn't need to watch their date. He wasn't a creep.

Kululu wasn't particularly early, but he wasn't particularly on time either. Still he wasn't late enough that it felt like he was ditching out. He had his pekoponian suit on so that things wouldn't look too weird, the only organic part of his body was his giant frog head.

Angol Mois waited patiently for her date at a table near the window. She liked to look out of the window and sip on some tea.

"Yo, Mois. What are you doing here?" Kululu asked. He hadn't really wanted to run into anyone on his date, especially not Angol Mois and what would likely be Keroro and Tamama between her.

Still, he sat down in the chair in front of her that was empty because he would rather sit at her table than some stranger.

Angol Mois's face brightened once she saw Kululu. She was the exact opposite as him and loved to run into other people while she was out. She was happy to see him. "I'm on a date." She replied.

Kululu looked surprised for a moment, then for a second some other negative emotion, but he quickly concealed it. "So I guess the captain's on the toilet?" He asked, "Ku, ku, ku. I have to admit I'm surprised. Never thought you'd actually bag him. And when you did bag him I assumed you'd be on a date in the toy store, not an...an actual location."

"Oh no, it's not with Uncle." Angol Mois merrily laughed.

This shocked Kululu even more. This time he couldn't hide his surprise.

"You could say, blind date? Saburo wanted to set me up with one of his friends or something. He begged me. And I thought, well you could say, you only live one thousand times, ya know?" She didn't know if that was how the saying went.

It didn't go that way, but Kululu didn't correct her.

"...Saburo set you up..." Color drained out of his face as he realized what was going on. _God damn you Saburo. God damn you. I mean I applaud your trickery and prank, but still..._ He didn't take kindly to being tricked onto a date with his greatest fear.

"What about you?" Angol Mois asked, curiously. "This isn't a curry place after all." She pointed out.

"Saburo asked me to go on a date for him. I suppose the appropriate term is blind date. And...I believe I've just found who he kindly set me up with. Ku, ku, ku." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Angol Mois looked surprise as she gestured to herself. Kululu gave a slow nod.

"Ku, ku, ku! Pretty great prank though! I didn't suspect at all I was being duped." Kululu tried to find the humor in the situation.

Angol Mois just looked surprised. "So...Does this mean you like my type or something? That's what Saburo said..." She hadn't jumped to the same conclusions as Kululu, she thought Saburo had been putting both their best interests at heart.

"Nah." Kululu brushed her off. "We both got duped. Saburo conned us both into this."

Angol Mois frowned. _Well, I guess I'm not doing a favor for him again._ That didn't seem very nice.

"Let's call him. Maybe we're not supposed to meet up with each other." Mois was hopeful. She whipped her cell phone out and dialed Saburo's number. She gestured for Kululu to bring his head closer to hers so they could both hear Saburo.

"Hello?" Saburo asked.

"Yo, what's the deal, man? You set me up on a date with Angol Mois?" Kululu asked, sounding annoyed.

"Are we supposed to wait for someone different? Or did you really set us up with each other?" Mois asked.

Saburo smiled, "I helped you out." He responded, "Anyway, I have to be somewhere." He lied, "But have a good date! Congratulations on your first date together." He hung up leaving them high and dry.

Angol Mois looked irritated. Kululu did for a moment until he started laughing at the odd situation they had found themselves in.

"It is a little funny. You have to admit. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu pointed out.

"If anyone else had tricked you like this would you laugh?" Angol Mois asked.

"Course not. But that's because I'm not going to use the same trick on them. Natsumi should do the trick. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu sinisterly grinned.

He got up to plan revenge and leave that cafe since he was now no longer obligated to stay.

"Wait." Mois stopped him, "Are you leaving?"

Kululu nodded, "There's no real reason to stay here, right?"

Angol Mois frowned, "Actually, maybe we should make the best of this situation." She finally decided. She was out anyway.

Kululu was caught off guard. "The best of this situation?" _Oh yeah, she's always so optimistic._

"I need to pick up some invasion supplies for Uncle anyway." Angol Mois smiled, "And since we are out, do you want to help me? It would be fun to hang out a little bit!" Sure it was work, but she enjoyed spending time with Kululu.

 _S-she...She wants to hang out with me?_ Kululu was surprised, but he nodded anyway. "I'm willing." He agreed.

There was no harm in spending a little more time together. He had taken the effort to go outside after all, no point in wasting it. She was right.

So he waited for Angol Mois to join him at the door and the two were off to go shopping.

* * *

Angol Mois went through the pekoponian shops on the side of the street corner trying to check off boxes of things Keroro wanted and had deemed important for the invasion. No surprise, it was all things he himself wanted instead of something important.

Kululu sighed. He had agreed to help Angol Mois with work, after all they were tech team partners and unlike her he actually got paid for working and it was his job, but this was boring. She was much more focused and devoted to things than he was.

"Over there! That's the important manga that Uncle said was like super super important for the invasion!" Angol Mois pointed and hurried over to the crowd.

Kululu sighed and rubbed his forehead. _I agreed to spend time with her, but this isn't really anything like we're spending time together. It's more like extra work._

"Hey, Mois." Kululu wasn't the type to protect people's feelings.

Angol Mois glanced at him.

"This is boring." He said honestly.

Angol Mois looked hurt. "I-I'm...I'm sorry." She didn't want to drag Kululu along on her errands, "You...You can go home if you want to..."

"Nah, I just meant that maybe we should do something else. I did agree to hang out with you after all." It was a rare occasion to have Angol Mois outside with him to hang out without Keroro at her arm and he wanted to make the most of it. But this felt more like their normal work than hanging out.

"But...But Uncle will be super mad if we don't finish these important tasks." Mois reminded.

Kululu frowned. They weren't that important. He stopped Angol Mois and put his hands on her shoulders to relax her and stop her from running off. "Look over there." He turned her body away from the manga. "A video game arcade. Wouldn't that be a ton more fun than this boring task? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu pointed out.

Angol Mois bit her lip. That did look a lot more fun. She hadn't actually ever been into one of those with Kululu. Heck, she had never been in one with Keroro. "But..."

"This was supposed to be just a little get together, right? Have fun with me!" Kululu offered, "Ditch work for once." He loved trying to bring people to the dark side and stop them from being responsible.

"But work..." She pointed out.

 _Geez, I never would have imagined that she'd be so uptight._ He was going to break that. Nobody could be more uptight than Giroro after all. He gave her a teasing smirk and an almost begging look. He offered his hand. "You earned a break. Come with me."

Angol Mois smiled a little bit, looking at the ground. It was the sort of smile that was only for herself, she wasn't making eye contact with Kululu especially since in his pekoponian suit he was now taller than her. That made her smile cute and tolerable. She brushed some hair out of her face and took his hand.

"O-okay." She agreed.

Kululu grinned and lead her away from the manga and to the video game arcade. "This will definitely be more fun than shopping for the captain." He reassured her. "Want to see me take apart some machines and change their programming so they're evil? Ku, ku, ku."

Angol Mois jumped up and down giddily. "Do I ever!"

Kululu grinned ever wider. Angol Mois was such a fun audience to have when he was being a jerk. _Ah I love it when she's like this._

He dragged her inside the video game arcade. The lights were blaring, there was a lot of techno music, things like that.

Angol Mois gasped once she saw a transparent looking cage with plushies filled in them. "What's this one?" She asked.

"It's called the Claw arcade game. Ku, ku, ku. You have to move the claw around to win plushies. It's super hard and very tricky. I like it because it's a jerk to people, steals their money and they don't get anything." Kululu grinned.

Angol Mois grabbed onto Kululu's arm and looked up at him with the cutest and largest eyes. "But I bet you can do it." She stroked his ego. "Will...Will you show me?"

"You don't want to try?" Kululu asked.

"I want the prizes. Not the hard work." Mois pouted.

"Ku, ku, ku." He could do it then. He nodded and pulled her over. _I do like showing off my skills._ Things like this were extremely easy for him, it required a keen eye and hand eye coordination. "Which one do you want?"

Angol Mois looked like she'd just throw her arms around Kululu in joy. It probably wouldn't be comfortable since he was made out of metal. "That one." She pointed to a cute little bunny rabbit.

Kululu quickly brought the claw down and got it. Angol Mois giggled and held onto her new plushy.

"...Any others?" He saw her eying the arcade cage again.

"They're all so cute..." Mois pouted. "And...How can I separate her from her friends?"

Kululu grinned. He pulled some things out of his pocket called 'fake tokens' that he himself had designed to be the proper shape and size. "Since it's easy to win them I can probably get you all of them."

He had never heard Mois squeal before, but it sounded like a sound that could shatter windows. "You're the best, Kululu! You're the absolute greatest!"

Kululu smiled to himself. _Not like I would have said no when you were staring at me._ It was a date though and even if he hadn't planned on having fun with Mois that day he was fine with having fun with her.

He got her the plushies as people crowded around and looked at him with amazement. Nobody could ever beat that game without losing.

Afterwords, he inputted a code that made the claw game even harder for whatever sucker wanted to play next.

Angol Mois put her new toys in a bag.

"What next?" Kululu asked looking around. All the arcade games looked fun to break, but he knew Angol Mois had never been in one of these places before. "Which game looks like a game you'd like to play?"

Angol Mois pointed over to the dance dance revolution machine. "How does that one work?"

"You dance where the arrows point too." Kululu explained.

"Never done one of those! Want to play with me?" Angol Mois offered.

Kululu shook his head. He wasn't really interested. "I can cheer you on though." He offered. And he could probably quickly program something to cheat the game for her. There was no reason she shouldn't get top scores after all.

"Okay! Cheer me on!" Angol Mois gave a thumbs up and jumped up to the machine once it was her turn. Every time she glanced at Kululu he gave her a thumbs up as he reprogrammed the machine with a small remote.

She of course got top marks even if she didn't exactly know how the machine worked. She clapped and looked super proud of herself.

And Kululu in turn was actually happy to see her happy. She looked like she was enjoying herself much more than she had shopping for the invasion.

Although the two of them spent a long time in the arcade modifying machines to be terrifying sort of nightmare things, they did eventually get kicked out for blowing up equipment.

Kululu and Mois were laughing even though they were banned for life from the place. "That was great!" Kululu smiled.

Angol Mois nodded. "I liked the part best when all the people cried when they lost even though they thought they were winning."

"I liked when you blew up the skee ball machine! Ku, ku, ku." Kululu high-fived her.

"Oh please, you caused way more destruction!" Angol Mois complimented, "They were so mad at us." At least she still got her plushies.

She looked at the time. It wasn't dark out yet and they didn't yet have to be home.

"Anything else you want to do?" Angol Mois asked.

"No work." Kululu frowned and wrinkled his nose. "Ku, ku, ku. You need to do any shopping for you? We could go to a clothing store." He didn't wear clothing but he loved seeing Angol Mois wear it. It was fun to make her model.

And if they went to some place like a clothing store he could probably stop enjoying himself so much, and start acting more like his old self. Be just sort of creepy and perverted and not make this such undeniably a great date. It made him uncomfortable because it really was fun, not even he could deny he was enjoying spending time with her.

"Okay!" Angol Mois agreed. She knew Kululu loved seeing her model and it wouldn't bore him.

They walked along the streets and eventually made it to a pretty nice looking store. Kululu followed Angol Mois in.

"You can pick some things out that you want me to try on!" Angol Mois tried to make it fun for him too.

"How bout these?" Kululu of course took the opportunity to gesture at sexy underwear. He was a Kululu after all. "Ku, ku, ku. I myself think you'd look very alluring in them." He inspected closer. "And look! They're your size."

Mois sighed. She crossed her arms and looked at him. She shouldn't have expected any different. "How about something cuter?"

"This stuff is pretty cute. Look this one says 'Eat me!' You'd look so cute in it. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu smirked playfully.

She pulled Kululu away from the underwear much to his disappointment. Instead she dragged him to the shirt section and cute skirts.

"I'm going to choose something if you don't." She teased. She was sure he could probably find something sexy in this section too, that likely she'd reject.

Kululu sighed and looked mournfully at the underwear section. "Fine. This one." He handed her a rather large plain gray shirt. It didn't look that cute, but if someone could make it cute it would be Angol Mois.

Angol Mois nodded as he started handing her items, his mind going at a remarkable speed of trying to figure out proper color combinations and matches with his mental image of an Angol Mois model.

Eventually Angol Mois was carrying a lot of clothing and she and Kululu headed off to the dressing room. No matter how much Kululu teased her he was forced to wait outside to see her model.

He watched her come out of the dressing room and show him several items of clothing. Just as he expected she could pull off even boring gray shirts into a cute messy and tired look. Simple.

"Okay. I'm going to try on another." She smiled. "What did you think of that one?"

"It was good. I could make better." Kululu frowned. He took out his phone to play on it while she was in the dressing room.

He decided to finally answer one of Saburo's texts that was a simple 'How's it going?'

He was no longer that mad at Saburo's little prank after all.

" _It's going okay."_ Kululu finally wrote a reply, " _I'm not with Mois right now. She's trying some clothing on in the dressing room, but things are going mostly fine."_

After a moment of thinking it over, he added, " _She's pretty darn cute. But I'm not going to show you how cute. Ku, ku, ku!"_ He was enjoying watching her model.

Saburo of course was very pleased to hear that things were going well. It was all that he dreamed, things going smoothly after they actually spent some time together.

" _Don't tell her I said that!"_ Kululu suddenly sent a panicky text realizing that if Mois saw his text she would likely read it the wrong way. He didn't want her knowing how beautifully cute she was to him. She would think it was a compliment.

" _Don't worry. It's just between the two of us ;)"_ Saburo sent a winky face in his text. It annoyed Kululu.

He put his phone away and went back to watching Mois model as she went out of the dressing room once again.

* * *

After leaving the clothing store, the date was finally ending. They decided to end the day with ice cream and a walk along the park since Kululu didn't have to actually do the walking part in the suit. He could just program it to.

He put curry on his ice cream which was something Mois looked a bit weirded out about. She didn't tease him though.

Instead she licked her ice cream slowly with a happy smile on her face. It was very yummy and she had gained a lot of things from her fun day. Nothing that Keroro needed, but it didn't matter to her. "This was a fun day out." Mois smiled.

Kululu nodded in agreement. He couldn't deny that. _What to do now?_ He was super glad he was not only in a pekoponian suit but that they were too distracted by ice cream so he didn't have to do things like hold her hand. That was what happened in normal dates, right? But normal dates also had perhaps a kiss on the cheek at the end.

He wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

"It was much more fun than any of my days out with Uncle." Mois admitted, smiling.

Although Kululu did like the fact that he was more fun than Keroro, he was a little bummed out at the reminded that Keroro still existed. _Ah yeah, her crush on Keroro still exists._ That sure made the date a little more awkward. He was thankful that the subject of Mois's crush on Keroro hadn't come up until the very end. Sure it was a casual sort of date set up by Saburo but he still didn't want to hear about another guy.

"Yeah. Out of all my dates this one was very unique..." The joke and the knowledge that Angol Mois didn't have was that this was his only date. Still he had mentioned it as if to compliment her in a way and re-affirm that yes, this was a date, and they were on it together.

Angol Mois looked a bit confused for a moment as if she had forgotten that it was a date. "Ummm...This was just us hanging out as friends." She awkwardly corrected, "Remember? The blind date that Saburo set up was just us being duped, so to not waste the day we decided to hang out together."

Kululu wanted to point out that that sounded exactly like a date, but didn't. _Well, she's making it pretty clear that this wasn't a date._ He never thought he'd hear such firm rejection. He tried not to look bummed out about it and her correction.

He recovered before Angol Mois could notice by stuffing more curry ice cream in his face. He didn't need to be bummed out about something dumb like that. _Not like I wanted it to be a date anyway._ He quickly told himself, trying to make himself less miserable.

"Still, I enjoyed it. So thank you!" Angol Mois smiled.

"Ditto." Kululu didn't say much. He was actually less enjoying the end of it and didn't know what to say.

They split up to go their separate ways, to home or to do some last minute work related shopping.

* * *

"So how'd it go?" Saburo was ready to get all the details. From Kululu's text it had sounded like it went pretty well. He was in Kululu's lab waiting for the details the next day.

Kululu looked bored and disinterested in talking about 'it' being the date. He was actually in a sour mood because of his previous rejection. He didn't get rejected very much when he had romantic intents because he rarely did, but that had been pretty clear rejection. And he didn't want to bring it up, dwell on it, or even think about it.

"The date!" Saburo clarified. "Did you have fun?"

"No." Kululu answered honestly, "And may I remind you that you duped us into being with each other. It wasn't a real date, and more importantly it wasn't even that thing called a date. We just hung out after we realized we had been conned by you." Kululu was being honest. According to Angol Mois at least that hadn't been a date.

 _What is a date to her then?_ Kululu briefly wondered. _Cuz that seemed to look a lot like a date by any normal standards. Maybe her definition of date involves looking at fault lines or caves. Or people with the captain more likely._ No chance to go on a date if it involved Keroro. No reason to even try.

"It was totally a date." Saburo smiled, "I made it into one."

"Don't do that again, okay? I know it was just a joke, but it was not funny." Kululu tried to clarify. "Neither of us liked thinking we were going to go on a date with each other. Especially not me. Mois thought we should continue, but I was very clear that I didn't see any point in granting you your favor. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu seemed to put more emphasis on that he didn't like hanging out with Mois, even though it was the exact opposite. She had been the one who didn't want to date and had rejected him. But Saburo didn't need to know that at all.

Saburo looked confused. He had just been trying to help Kululu out. "Course you didn't want to spend time with Mois." Saburo laughed briefly like he didn't believe him, "I mean with that giant crush on her it totally makes sense that you wouldn't want to spend time with her."

"...G-giant crush?" Kululu was cut off guard.  
"I mean she's your dream girl!" Saburo bumped him teasingly and smirked playfully. "And it totally makes sense that you wouldn't want to spend time with your dream girl." He was sarcastic.

Kululu's eyes widened and shocked. _Saburo thinks I have a crush on Mois because I dream about her?_ Suddenly panic raised in his stomach and mind. His face heated up. "No! No! I don't have a crush on Mois! I don't like her even a little bit! S-she's like totally not my type, okay? There's nothing appealing about her! She's so innocent and nice that someone like me couldn't like her!"

The denial that he spouted and panic he didn't know if it was more for himself or Saburo.

Saburo just stared at him blankly. Suddenly Kululu realized why Saburo thought he liked Angol Mois. Saburo had never seen Kululu's fear after all.

 _Oh...He's talking mostly about that dream girl thing._ Kululu recalled. Suddenly he remembered that Saburo had asked him who his dream girl was and he had honestly answered Angol Mois.

 _Pekoponians, and well...Actually everywhere in the universe's definition of dream girl is ideal girl that you like._ Kululu remembered. "Ku, ku, ku!" He laughed to himself. Saburo had totally misinterpreted. No wonder he thought Kululu had a crush on Angol Mois.

 _It has nothing to do with my behavior towards her. It was just a mistake._ Kululu felt relieved and continued laughing. "Saburo...I don't think you understand. I don't have a crush on Mois. I said she was my dream girl, because I meant she was the girl of my nightmares. She's in all of my nightmares! Ku, ku, ku." Kululu laughed at Saburo's confusion.

"Um...What...?" Saburo was confused. Why would a girl like Mois be in Kululu's nightmares?

"You see, I am absolutely terrified of Angol Mois. There's nothing romantic about our relationship or interaction." Kululu explained, "Her darn innocent sparkly eyes...They're poisonous. They could make me pure!"

 _I um...I lost him._ Saburo didn't understand. It was true that he had never seen this in action, but it was like Kululu was speaking another language. He was learning another part of Kululu, a paranoid part that he never thought he'd see.

"Those eyes unnerve me. And the nightmares started after she first..." Kululu cringed, "Stared at me while I was inventing something and then I freaked out. If she stared at me too long I'd turn nice after all!" Kululu was shaking, his knuckles were white. He honestly believed this stuff. "I've had nightmares ever since. She's in every single one."

"Ummm..." Saburo was just so confused.

"Ku, can't believe you were so dumb to think she of all people would be my dream girl, like that I liked her and wasn't terrified of her. Everyone else would laugh at you for that misunderstanding. But don't worry. I will laugh enough for all of them. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu knew everyone else knew about his fear after all, except maybe Koyuki. So he just laughed at Saburo. And laughed and laughed.

Saburo was just totally confused. "So...You don't like her?"

"Like her? The thing I want most in the world is to be the heck away from her!" Kululu said eagerly. "She's my biggest fear!"

 _That's a dumb fear to have._ Saburo thought to himself. He didn't dare accuse Kululu of having a dumb fear though. After all he knew a cute girl couldn't actually turn Kululu pure.

Saburo sadly walked out of the lab. _So Kululu doesn't like her._ He thought to himself. He was disappointed that Angol Mois wasn't a working match.

As he walked upstairs, he realized how wrong he was. Kululu might not have been in love with her now, but she still had all of Kululu's traits that he was looking for. She was good with technology, she made an effort to understand and be nice to him and she probably liked destroying things. _Kululu might not love her now but he has great potential to be._ Saburo had the dawning realization.

He smiled. _She's everything he wants and she likes him the most out of everybody else. They'd be a cute couple too._ He wasn't just going to abandon his plan to hook them up. He'd stick to his dreams.

 _I am going to make them smooch so hard._ He looked over his shoulder at the lab and glared. _When they have kids together I'll force them to name one after me, because I am so going to prove Kululu wrong that he does like her!_

Still he was unsure if Kululu didn't like her or already liked her too much. Kululu had said he didn't want to be around Angol Mois, but he had also said he was afraid of her turning him pure and nice. And that wasn't a fear anyone had. _That sounds like he just has a desire to be nice to her when she's around and he's too dense to realize he likes her._

That and Kululu had texted him about Angol Mois being cute. It all pointed to him liking her.

 _Well and the very obvious denial._ Saburo shrugged. It was a mystery, but he was pretty sure on Kululu's side feelings were already there. He just needed to prove it.

Kululu and Angol Mois were always the type of people to be in the background supporting each other, working together. They did enjoy spending time together no matter how much Kululu denied it. And despite Kululu's jerky nature and her kindness they were a little bit alike enjoying destruction and technology.

They were compatible and Saburo knew that he'd set them up together at all costs. It was the perfect match. Didn't matter if Kululu said no, he'd outsmart him.

 _You will date her. And I will make sure of it._ Saburo promised.

* * *

 **Originally I was going to have Saburo run off laughing manically once they got to the cafe. But then I wondered why would he be there in the first place. He's not that creepy.**

 **It's a big temptation every kurumois story or story where Angol Mois is the main character to have Tamama play a big role. But out of my two fluff fics he has yet to do much of anything which is really sad, especially since when Angol Mois things happen he's usually involved to ruin it. Someday I will use him to his full potential.**


	4. The Play

**I finally updated this story. I had half of it sitting around for a half a year before completing the chapter. I feel like there's less and less Saburo every chapter but I suppose that's okay since this is a kurumois story.**

 **Also by the way there is a truth or dare game later in this chapter. I know there's no real point and it's terribly cliche, I just really love truth or dare games in fanfiction and I don't know why? They're fun to read, they're fun to write, fun to rp. Lots of fun. But sometimes they're weird, so please forgive me for including one. I hoped I pulled it off okay.**

* * *

Saburo didn't know what to do next. His greatest scheme, to just let Kululu and Angol Mois kind of fall in love with each other naturally after giving them the opportunity, had failed. What could he do if a date hadn't set the two of them up? There was only so many things he could do if somehow the date hadn't worked.

Saburo was out of ideas. He hoped that his creative juices would start flowing after taking a stroll along alien street. He made sure to wear a headband with fake antenna so his identity as a human wouldn't be found out, Saburo tried to take a relaxing stroll.

"Hey! Boy! Would you like to purchase some wares?" A woman with an old stretched out face called to him. Her complexion pasty and green like a witch.

Saburo didn't have anything against talking to witches, so he shrugged and walked over. "Not really." He answered honestly.

"But I can see into your soul." The woman said cryptically. "I know what you want. You're having some love troubles."

Saburo gave a low laugh. _Not me! My friend._ Those con artists were all the same, saying they could see things when they clearly couldn't. "You got me." He faked, "Show me what you got."

The woman smiled and pulled a book out of her long cloak sleeves. "For your love troubles I think this would help you the most."

Saburo frowned as he looked at the book. It didn't look particularly different from any human books, it just looked like a normal book. But the title didn't refer to his love life.

"The Wing man's guide to hooking up a pal." Saburo read out loud. He hadn't ever really refereed to himself as Kululu's wing man, but he supposed that was what he was. _I guess this old alien really does have a gift if she realized my love troubles had to do with hooking up a friend. That or she's good at guessing._

He skimmed through the book, trying to make sure it was in a language he could understand instead of some weird alien language. It was.

"Is it cheap?" Saburo asked

"Don't worry, you can pay in yen." The woman told him.

 _Darn. I kind of wanted to draw my money._ Saburo didn't have a problem with giving aliens counterfeit money. It was one of the abilities of his reality pen that he had happened upon.

He handed the old woman the cash and skipped off with the book, hoping it would have several scenarios that would help him out. He skimmed through it again, this time only looking at chapter titles until he stopped at one that looked like an amusing idea that might work.

 _I need to make them both fall in love with each other._ Saburo remembered. _Not just making Mois fall for him._ He knew deep down that when Kululu had said he didn't like Mois he was badly bull crapping, but until Kululu could stop being a baby and accept that fact without screaming about nightmares he had to make Kululu fall for Mois too.

 _Although making Mois fall in love with him looks like it'll be super difficult too. Maybe if I make Kululu appear cooler than he usually is...Maybe it'll work._ Saburo didn't back down from challenges though. Especially ones that seemed amusing and dealed with people's emotions.

He smiled as he looked at the title of one of the chapters in the middle. "Romantic play" It read

"Making two people act in a play as lovers makes them truly realize how much they care for each other. Romantic plays can make their feelings burn brighter as they pretend to love each other and then it becomes a reality. It also gives several circumstances to see the other in cute outfits, or to force two people to kiss….." He read to himself

Saburo smiled as he read the passage. "Well..." He spoke aloud to himself, "I did always want to be an entertainer."

Kululu was sure to agree to make everyone act in a play for him. After all Kululu was his friend and really did want Saburo to succeed. Kululu was sure to be easily conned.

* * *

Saburo tapped on Kululu's lab door. Kululu was still a little ticked at Saburo for setting him up on a date with Angol Mois that proved to be a disastrous failure. But he sighed and let Saburo into his lab anyway.

"What do you need this time?" Kululu sighed. _Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...Well there won't be a second time._ Kululu narrowed his eyes. He knew Saburo needed something. He could tell from the crackle in the air.

He just hoped that deeply it didn't have something to do with him getting turned down by Mois again. That was something he was still considering if he should erase his memories of, or Mois's. Did she realize he might have been hitting on her at the end? Did he want to have any knowledge of that? Nope. The answer was definitely a nope.

Saburo plopped down a script in front of him. "I'm going to go to college to be an entertainer."

"I know." Kululu frowned. Kululu visibly relaxed at the knowledge that Saburo was here to ask him of a favor about some entertainment thing instead of on a blind date.

"But I haven't ever done anything like directed other people. Usually I'm the star. I was wondering if you could gather up your platoon and kind of...Help me get them to help me." Saburo lied. "I wrote up a quick script for a play and I need actors to see if I can pull this off. Directing, ya know?"

Saburo could tell that Kululu looked annoyed at him for asking for so many favors, especially since to Kululu it looked like the last favor had been at Kululu's expense. _I'm not being a bad friend. I'm so sorry Kululu, this is for your sake!_ Saburo assured himself.

Kululu grabbed some copies of the script and his eyes softened when he saw the 'directed by Saburo' heading. He knew it was important to Saburo to be an entertainer. It was his dream after all.

His dream was far less extravagant. Eat a bunch of curry. But he didn't completely unrelate to Saburo having a dream. As a child, he too had had dreams.

Sure I can. It's easy to scare those losers into doing what you want. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu finally agreed, holding the scripts.

Saburo grinned.

* * *

Secretly, Kululu was more than happy to threaten everybody into helping Saburo with putting on a play.

"Ku, ku, ku. So Saburo needs your help putting on a play. And let me make sure you know that if you refuse you'll be helping me with a lot more unsavory things. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu glared at everybody. He of course meant that they'd be his own personal guinea pig but it sent a shiver up everybody's spine.

"But I don't want to help him!" Giroro cried. Kululu put his hand on Giroro's shoulder. He didn't even need to say anything.

He just gave a crooked smile. Giroro shivered and moved to the back.

"Awww, Kululu, you don't need to threaten me!" Keroro bashfully waved his hand, "I love being in plays! I'm a natural star." He pointed to the star on his belly.

Kululu scoffed. He wouldn't actually mind if Keroro couldn't help Saburo.

"I agree with Keroro. Saburo is a nice boy. I'd be happy to act in a play- It would be a nice bonding experience and-" Dororo was cut off and ignored.

"Yay! A play with Uncle!" Angol Mois clapped.

"You aren't invited." Kululu glared, "Saburo asked for the platoon."

"Mois's a part of our platoon." Keroro pointed out, "And I assume he'll want someone to play a female role."

Kululu sighed and gave her a stiff nod.

"I can be a beautiful seductress female better than she ever could!" Tamama hissed jealously. "Then I'm sure the play could turn into mine and Mr. Sergeant's love story."

Kululu didn't care about any of them. _Ku, ku, ku. His play is sure to get interesting though._ With that cast of personalities in the background trying to be specific roles...Well, it was sure to blow up in a hilarious way.

Still Kululu would try to keep the damage to a minimum. Saburo must have really cared about it to ask Kululu's help.

* * *

Saburo smiled as he looked at the Keroro platoon in front of him. He passed out scripts and descriptions of the basic plot and roles to each of them.

"I'm trying to put on some sort of traditional fairy tale." He explained, "And with your personalities in the background, you're sure to bring a more interesting light to my bland characters."

They all looked down at the script. It seemed to be really traditional, a princess from a faraway kingdom gets saved by a prince who was perfect, handsome and kind. Her kingdom was being plagued by the evil demon king who wanted to destroy the kingdom for himself and puts the princess in a slumber. The prince then saves the day, fights off the demon and saves his love and the two run off together.

Kululu tried not to make fun of Saburo's simple plot. _Ku, ku, ku. This script looks like it just came out of space wikipedia and he barely put any work into it._ He pretended he didn't notice the obvious flaws.

Keroro's eyes sparkled as he read the roles and the script. He was already getting way too into it. "I wonder if I'll be cast as the hero or the princess…."

Giroro crumpled the script into a ball and tossed it onto the ground. If there was no Natsumi there was no reason to agree to help. "I don't want any part of this. I'm an invader, I don't help pekoponians."

"Giroro, don't be like that..." Saburo begged.

"I don't want to be in your stupid play!" _Natsumi would have loved to work with Saburo. I don't want to be in any part of this._ Hissing, Giroro turned around, "And I don't care if Kululu tortures me." He turned around and stormed off.

"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu wrote a memo to himself to torture Giroro. "It's all right. You didn't have enough roles for him anyway."

"I didn't?" Saburo hadn't actually written the play himself, he really had stolen it off a space wikipedia cite. _Screw script writing. I do poetry and even that is sometimes stolen. Script writing is not something I have to practice or interests me at all._ He cleared his throat and felt awkward though. "Oh yeah. I didn't! Well...Um, that means more roles for the rest of you. I think the first role I have to give out is the princess."

"Yes, the princess from what I've seen of the script is a kind, generous, naive and rather innocent girl. She's sweet, kind and very beloved by the people." Dororo explained. He did a ninja art and quickly changed into his princess outfit, complete with a wig. "That is why I would be very honored to have this role. I feel like I could be a great princess."

"NO!" Tamama screamed, "The princess role is mine!" He knew Keroro would likely be the prince after all. He hissed and grabbed Dororo by the hem of his skirt trying to scratch at him.

"Ku, ku, ku, ku! This is going exactly as how I pictured it!" Kululu wiped tears from his eyes, "I mean...Uhhh..." He glanced quickly at Saburo. Luckily Saburo was laughing too.

Saburo laughed, "Actually I was going to give Mois the role by default. Since she's um...An actual girl."

"I suppose that makes sense." Kululu shrugged casually. He couldn't find fault in Saburo's logic. "I bet Mois would love the scene where the princess goes into a deep slumber too."

"I can sleep whenever you want! I fall asleep at the snap of a finger." Mois grinned, boasting about the wrong talent to have.

"But...B-but..." Dororo's eyes got all teary over the princess role. He hadn't even had a chance to audition.

"NOT THAT WOMAN!" Tamama screamed.

Angol Mois smiled at Saburo. "Oooh! I'd love to be a princess." She skipped through the script happily. "It seems so romantic. I love love stories!"

Saburo smiled, "Tamama, if it really bothers you, you can be the catty mean girl, princess."

"Oh I don't need you telling me when I can be catty." Tamama swished his head as if he was already a mean girl. He was ready for this role.

"After drawing Mois's costume, I'll hand out the rest of the roles." Saburo promised.

Dororo looked up at him hopefully. All he wanted was to know he got a role. That was all.

Everybody nodded as Saburo worked on trying to figure out Angol Mois's princess dress. _They can try to practice for their roles as much as they want._ Saburo cackled to himself. He knew he was going to give Kululu the role of the hero, or the charming prince. Nobody would suspect anything.

Keroro was very eagerly talking to Tamama about his role as the prince as Dororo tried to just make sure there would be a role for him.

Kululu meanwhile was leaning on the wall and smiling at Mois, talking to her in a low voice so Saburo couldn't hear him, for fear of him hearing him bad mouthing his script. "Ku, ku, ku...Sure is an interesting script."

"I love fairy tales!" Angol Mois hugged the script close. "It's just so romantic! Your friend is very talented." She was unaware this was not an original script.

"What did you think about the ending? About the prince and princess running away together in sappy happiness?" Kululu asked.

"I loved it!" Mois's eyes widened in joy. "What about you?"

"Well..." Kululu pretended to look at his hand and appear disinterested, "Personally I think that princess would work better ruling the land with an iron fist than being the sort of benevolent monarch, ya know? Ku, ku, ku."

Angol Mois did know. She gave a slow nod. What was Kululu getting at?

"But with Mr. Dreamy face, or otherwise known as the boring prince I doubt their kingdom will have any sort of benefit and will be just a boring land of happiness. So that's why I think that the princess's story would be so much more interesting if she ditched the prince and ran off with the demon king ruling her land with an iron fist." Kululu explained.

Angol Mois giggled a little. "Oh, but Kululu, she already has her land! Why would she need the demon king to rule it with her?" Discussions about fairy tale politics were so much fun!

"Fair point." Kululu nodded, agreeing with her analysis of the play, "But to that I give the point that the demon could probably teach the princess magic in return for ruling her kingdom by her side. Ku, ku, ku. After all he does have plenty of powerful spells."

"And what's to say the princess doesn't already know magic?" Mois pointed out. "I mean does the villain really put her into a deep slumber? Or does she cast it on herself when it's convenient to her to get her out of boring conversations?"

Kululu read through the script again. He could find nothing to disprove Mois's point. He sighed. _She's making this play much more interesting._ "What insightful commentary. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu complimented. "I'm sure they'll be talking about your points in classrooms after Saburo edits this script considerably and turns it into some big shot Hollywood movie."

"That's if this planet survives that long." Mois pointed out.

"KU!" Kululu laughed. He nodded and smiled at her, but tried to keep himself on track. "So you're saying that the princess should end up with neither the demon king nor the boring dreamy prince? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu continued his discussion. "I'm honestly surprised Mois, aren't you super into romance and all?"

"To me it almost sounds like you have a ship, Kululu. That's rather rare." Mois had a teasing smirk on her face. She was getting better at witty responses.

Kululu took a step back. That was not the case! "I...I just think that it would prove a way more interesting and hectic play if the princess ran off with the demon king instead of her prince charming. It would surely be unexpected and help the story telling. And they'd be a better match. Ku." Kululu tried to defend his decision making.

"I don't know if they'd be a better match. The demon king doesn't have much of a personality besides being evil." Mois pointed out. It was a rather simple story.

Kululu frowned. Maybe he was just seeing more personality than there was on the Demon King. He would help Saburo with his play and would add personality to his dull character. After all the Demon king had great potential to have personality. He reached up about to touch his costume horns but stopped himself.

Saburo hadn't given them to him yet. He was sure he'd be cast to play the demon king he just didn't have the costume. After all Kululu had the role of villain written all over him.

 _I'd be more than happy to play the Demon King too. It's a fitting role for me._

And he'd be happy to play the demon king, he just...was also sort of taking the opportunity to try to bring Mois to the 'dark side' as he called it. It was basically just flirting though. He was so glad nobody was listening in and falsely interrupting things possibly correctly.

Luckily Mois was incredibly dense and probably wouldn't realize if someone was flirting with her unless they handed her a bouquet of roses. She just smiled a bit as she compared the chemistry between the prince, princess and the demon king trying to find who fit the princess best.

"Look you're playing the princess Mois, so I'm sure she has a personality something like you's. And so I think the chemistry between the demon king character would fit much better with her than the prince. I mean raw evil? They could rule together and conquer all sorts of rival kingdoms! Ku, ku, ku." Kululu pointed out.

Mois smiled. "Well, we'll see in the play. Maybe your ship will prove to be canon and the demon king might win the heart of the innocent young maiden I'm playing."

Kululu couldn't stop himself from smiling. _I'm going to so ruin this play. Sorry Saburo, but I'm a jerk till the end. Even to you._

Saburo stepped out from behind a make shift curtain and stage. "I've figured out the last roles." He threw a dress over to Mois, "Keroro will play the demon king."

 _CRAP._ Kululu wanted to say a bad word. He had just set up Angol Mois with Keroro of all people.

Angol Mois beamed. "Ah! So this is what you meant Kululu!" She gave him a thumbs up.

 _Well I think this was inevitable and sort of meant to be. Dororo fits pretty well as a boring prince guy too._ Kululu sighed. Keroro and Angol Mois. Always the end game pair. He laughed a bit to himself thinking about Tamama's misfortune. At least that would be fun to focus on.

"Kululu, also my best friend, will play the lead role of the Prince." Saburo was sure to be obvious about his favoritism, "Dororo will play a tree."

Dororo cried.

Kululu's mouth hung open. _OH HECK NO. I don't want to be some dreamy prince guy!_ He could care less that the guy was Angol Mois's love interest that he was playing, that she was looking down at him curiously. What he really cared about was that this boring character was on the side of good.

He was about to complain against the role, but when he saw Saburo's face and how excited he was at this play he decided against it. He could try...Just try, for his friend's sake. Saburo wasn't going to be around much longer after all.

Maybe he could get through this boring play.

* * *

Kululu hated every moment of it, being in the silky and blue prince outfit that Saburo had designed for him, standing on a stage, ready to read lines.

"So how does this work? I'm not good at memorizing things." Keroro pointed out.

"Angol Mois, who is real sweet by the way, loaned me your giant screen in the base to use to flash lines at you, so the audience won't see them but you can read them off." Saburo explained, giving her a thumbs up.

"Still mad at you about yesterday!" Angol Mois gave two thumbs up back about the date she had been set up on.

Kululu avoided eye contact. "Y-yo...Can I switch roles with someone? I'll even be the tree. I just...I'll ruin your entire play by being the hero. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu tried to explain.

"You sure you're not asking because it's a romance play?" Saburo couldn't help but tease.

"I mean I'm not hiding the fact that it's that to. I don't want to play Mois's love interest." Kululu was very forward about the fact about how he was uncomfortable. "I mean we're co-workers! It's a little weird."

"Isn't Mois co-workers with everyone though? So any of these scenes would be awkward for anyone with Mois." Saburo tried to reason.

"I'm fine with it." Angol Mois tried to reassure Kululu. "It's just pretend. And I've never really acted in a play before! I know Natsumi talks about school plays and how much fun they are. But me, well I've never been to school. You could say, a child once again?"

Now Kululu felt even worse. Because now Angol Mois was excited for this play too. He was sure to ruin it for Saburo and Mois because he just couldn't be a prince. It was wrong. It just made his stomach twist to his core.

"Keroro...Captain. Please. Switch roles with me. I'll give you a gundam model..." Kululu tried to bribe.

Saburo glared.

Keroro's eyes glittered, but quickly before the transaction could be made or anything could be set to put it in stone, Saburo clapped his hands.

"I called in Natsumi, Fuyuki, Momoka and Koyuki to watch our play." Saburo frowned. "They're coming here in three minutes. Giroro will probably be with them."

"No rehearsal?" Keroro almost collapsed. "How can any play be done like that?"  
"Well this is a play to help my directing ability, not something that needs to be perfect." Saburo told them. "The sets and costuming are complete. So just try to get a feel for the characters and act well and in character and have fun!" Saburo smiled.

 _Hopefully this will help Kululu and Angol Mois. Angol Mois always was the type to get trapped in fantasy._ Saburo assured himself.

Before any more protesting could be made, the doors to the meeting room swung open and Giroro led the pekoponians in.

"This is going to be a huge freakin mess. And I can't wait to see it." Giroro crossed his arms.

"Don't be like that. Anything directed by Saburo will be good." Natsumi was sure of this.

"I can't wait to watch with Fuyuki!" Momoka had a one-track mind.

Fuyuki was just reading a book. He wasn't even paying attention to the stage or anything. He wanted to do occult research instead.

"Good luck, Dororo!" Koyuki smiled.

They all sat down.

Saburo grinned. _Every performance only truly begins with an audience. And although they think they're here to see the fairy tale 'The princess of Sweet Dreams' by Saburo, really they're going to see the true performance of Kululu and Angol Mois's love blooming._

Saburo signaled for the tree- Dororo, to draw the curtains so the performance could start.

"Ah! What a lovely day to live in a wonderful kingdom like mine! The grass is green and the birds are chirping. The people are all chipper and happy and they always have a smile on their face like mine." Angol Mois said in a sing-song voice as she entered the stage.

"Halt! You may be a sweet princess beloved by the people, but you're nothing compared to me, the princess from the next kingdom over!" Tamama flipped his hat like a hair flip. "I'm like, so much prettier than you and nicer. Everybody. ESPECIALLY THE DEMON KING. Would be just so much happier if you died. Mmmkay? So you better go do that." Tamama smiled innocently

 _Hey some of those lines weren't in the script!_ Saburo frowned.

Things continued like this, them fighting, for a while, until Keroro jumped down from the highest point of the stage.

"I have come to kill you two, after all princesses are my enemy and I want to rule the kingdom!" Keroro was too over dramatic and into his role.

"Augh! Kill the tree, this meat shield! Not me!" Tamama screamed, offering Dororo as a sacrifice.

"I didn't even get any lines!" Dororo cried as Keroro fake killed him.

"I will kill you now." Keroro pretended, and then pressed lightly on Tamama's chest.

"Eeek. Mister Sergeant touched my chest! How naughty!" Tamama wagged his tail and blushed.

Momoka covered Fuyuki's eyes. So did Natsumi.

"Uhhhhhh..." Keroro just looked at Saburo for a long time. Saburo glared and shoved Tamama off of the stage when he wrote stage exit with his magic pen.

"And now I will kill you, princess!" Keroro said dramatically.

"No! Never! Even if I have to flee you and live in the forest I won't ever let you take me from my people!" Angol Mois cried.

Keroro chased her but could not catch her. And eventually the scene changed.

Angol Mois wandered around in a fake forest for a little bit, until finally Kululu was supposed to show up on stage.

They waited for a minute since he was late for his cue. He reluctantly came on, trying not to look at the pekoponians too much and how much they'd probably laugh at him.

 _Fine. Laugh. Laugh and you lose your tongue if you do._ Kululu tried to be positive about being humiliated.

"Hello! It's nice to see you! I'm lost in the forest. I'm trying to find sanctuary in the next kingdom over and ask the king for reinforcements to get rid of the demon king in my kingdom." Angol Mois waved, saying her lines perfectly. "Would you know how to get there?"

Kululu just frowned. He was not in this role at all. "Ku, ku, ku. The king just died. I killed him- I mean he died of sickness." He paled when Saburo face-palmed. That wasn't in the script. "The prince is in charge of the kingdom now, but I heard he just left to go visit his fiance, who was arranged to marry him. Maybe we're in luck and they'll run away and escape bad writing?"

"I don't think that will ever happen. You can never escape poorly written scenario." Angol Mois laughed.

Kululu tried not to crack a small smile. It was hard not to be effected by her laughter. It was a little infectious.

"That's a pity though. I really needed to see him. You see, I am the princess from that kingdom! But a demon has attacked and is after my life." Angol Mois confessed. "I need a..." She winced. "A strong prince to protect me."

"I. Am. So. Sorry." Kululu mouthed. Had Saburo really written this crap? He really did need to have a talk with him.

He glanced at what his line was supposed to be next. It just got worse. **You? You're the beautiful princess I've seen in my dreams? Well you're more lovely than I had ever imagined. I never believed in love at first sight until I saw you. You're a vision of loveliness.**

It was all sorts of affection and romantic words like that from here. The prince character was all about hitting on the princess now.

Kululu had almost been having fun making fun of things with Mois, but he could not say these lines.

He looked at Saburo who had such a hopeful look upon his face. Kululu bit his lip. _He's leaving for America soon. For this dream._

"Y-you. You're the bea-bea..." Kululu just could not stutter the words out. He could not compliment Mois in that way in front of every one. He could only call her pretty as insults! How was he supposed to hit on her.

Angol Mois waited patiently. She just smiled...And stared.

Kululu continued to stutter. And minutes later as everybody awkwardly waited, he passed out. "STOP STARING AT ME!" He screamed.

He could not do this.

* * *

The whole play had seemed like a fever dream after that. Saburo was holding Kululu as he woke up.

"It's the last scene. Dororo took over for you to be the under-study, but I want you to do the last scene. Don't worry about the whole fainting on stage thing. Every body has stage fright." Saburo reassured.

"It wasn't stage fright. It was fearing for my life!" Kululu said over dramatically.

Saburo was very confused. He had seen the whole thing and there wasn't any risk of dying. Why the heck was Kululu saying he would die?

 _It's all right. All that matters is the last scene anyway. The last scene is the most important._ "Just get on stage." Saburo directed. "The evil demon king has just put the princess into a deep slumber. You gotta kill him."

Kululu grinned. "Fake killing Keroro? This. This is something I can do. Ku, ku, ku." He paraded up to the stage ready to do the deed.

Angol Mois was lying on the ground. Kululu was a bit unsure if she was actually sleeping or just pretending. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

Keroro was laughing wildly over her, he had glowsticks in his hand instead of rays of light effect.

Kululu had a stage prop that was a knife. All the direction he was given was stab. "I will slay you, evil and incompetent fiend!" He said the line as directed. "And then I will take your place as the greatest evil! Ku, ku, ku! After all I'm the most amazing!"

Saburo face-palmed.

"No! My power!" At least Keroro followed directions as intended. Kululu fake stabbed him and Keroro fell off the stage.

"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu grinned, taking the demon horns that Keroro had dropped off the ground. His now. He put them on.

He glanced at the stage directions. **Awake the princess.** It said. Easy enough.

He approached Mois. "Wake up?" He suggested in a low voice. _Why did I say this was easy? Waking Mois up is one of the most difficult tasks ever!_ She loved her sleep.

"Princess, ummm...You're...Eyes aren't open. I suppose that's a good thing, but...Please wake up." Perhaps she was actually asleep, after all, she wasn't waking up.

Kululu checked the board for more direction. **I love you. My darling, please wake up.** He had said the please wake up part, but he'd probably just fizzle out before he could say any of the other stuff.

 **Awaken the princess with a kiss.** The board directed.

This time Kululu's eyes widened. _Wait! The script didn't have a kissing scene last time I checked!_ Had Saburo added it in last minute?

Wait...He was being played again! This was just another scheme to get him to humiliate himself around Mois like that last date had been! Why did Saburo want this?

 _No. He wouldn't use how I want to make his dream come true to play me...Right?_ Yet again Saburo might have been a bigger jerk than him.

He couldn't let this happen. He'd make the play better than what it was meant to be. "Well, now that my lover has died...Or perhaps is sleeping, whatever I wasn't into her anyway, I better become the Demon King and take over the world. After all I wanted power, not love. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu narrated, putting the demon horns on. "Bye princess. Guess I was the cool protag after all. Enjoy your nap."

"Hey! You can't do that!" The complaint wasn't Saburo's, it was Angol Mois's. She woke up abruptly in anger. "You're destroying something like a sleeping beauty story! And I love sleeping beauty stories! They're sacred!" She looked really angry as she stood up.

"Sorry but I tried saying 'please wake up'. It was the best I could do. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu shrugged. "Cut me some slack."  
"You're supposed to confess your undying love to the princess! Then your tears wake her up!" Angol Mois insisted. "You ruined one of my favorite parts of the play. It was so romantic. And my character gets just left behind while you do cool things? Unfair!" She complained.

"Ick. I'm not crying on you." Kululu tried to let her see things his way. She was taking things way too seriously. He knew she liked fairy tales but maybe she had gotten as into it as Keroro in the end.

"HAHAHA! You got ditched woman!" Tamama laughed from the audience.

"Is the play over?" Natsumi wondered. "That doesn't really feel like an ending."

Kululu sighed. He didn't want Saburo's play to have an unsatisfying ending. "I have become the new demon king. Princess, make your choice. Will you go back to your kingdom that is peaceful and boring and had a mean catty princess who tried to threaten you or will you rule several kingdoms by my side? The choice is yours." Kululu offered his hand.

Mois stopped glaring for a moment trying to figure out what to say now that she wasn't following a script. "But I'm asleep still...This fight and interaction must be part of my dream." She faked. "I can only wake up from those tears and love confession."

Kululu wanted to point to the script. It was a kiss not tears! Not like he could do tears anyway. "You mean a kiss. A kiss is the only thing that can wake you. But unfortunately I was born with a terrible curse upon myself of having only teeth instead of lips...Ku, ku, ku." He faked. "So there will be no kiss. You must wake up on your own."

Angol Mois was conflicted. Stick to the fairy tale and fight Kululu on this even if it meant asking Kululu to kiss her, or thanking Kululu inwardly from saving her from the kissing scene. She seemed like she was having her own inner turmoil and conflict.

Dororo sensed the poor girl's heartache and conflict over a fairy tale being ruined. So he leaped in the air and into the stage.

"I will save you! I can fix this issue!" And with that thanks to the power of Dororo having a mask, Dororo kissed Angol Mois.

Angol Mois's face heated up in shock. It wasn't a real kiss since he was masked, but it was still weird.

"You are awaken fair and sweet princess. I was the tree who was watching over you. Under a curse I finally was given life thanks to your kindness. I love you for letting me save you in the end." Dororo saved the entire play.

Angol Mois had her hands on her cheeks in shock. She didn't know whether she should be freaking out over having a kiss with someone or if that was a kiss. She had not expected any of this.

 _What._ Was the only thought going through both Kululu and Saburo's head. Neither of them had expected this either.

Dororo nodded and bowed. Everybody laughed in the audience and clapped.

"That was a great play, Saburo!" Natsumi smiled.

"It...It was all the better thanks to everybody's weird personalities. They truly brought out the full potential of the characters." It wasn't false, Saburo's words as Natsumi shook his hand.

His plan for Kululu and Angol Mois love had failed spectacularly. Oddly enough the only one closer was Dororo and Angol Mois.

Kululu quickly threw away his prince outfit as Angol Mois still stood frozen to the spot she had stood.

"So what now, Saburo?" Keroro's voice seemed to snap Saburo out of his trance.

 _Yes. One failure doesn't mean I give up._ Saburo knew Keroro wasn't talking about Kululu and Angol Mois but he continued staying on track. He pulled out his book which he had a fake cover on so nobody could know what he was reading, It read as English for the advanced, since he was going to America it wouldn't feel out of place. _Ahhh here's one that could work. Truth or Dare can easily be used to make people fall in love. It's an easily used high school or middle school cliché, getting your friends to confess feelings or kiss._ Well none of them were in that age group but he was sure it would still work.

"We'll have a wrap party. For a show well done!" Saburo decided. "Everybody cool with that?"

"I got homework to do." Fuyuki frowned.

"Y-yeah! Me too. How about we study together?" Momoka offered.

Natsumi nodded. "I probably should help them. Since I'm older. Koyuki, want me to help you with some questions too?"

Koyuki eagerly nodded.

Giroro glared, but stayed put. He felt like something sinister was about to happen. That Saburo had something in store. And he hoped it didn't have anything to do with Natsumi.

"I would love a wrap party." Keroro grinned.

"Just me, the keronians and Mois then?" Saburo asked. Kululu looked like he wanted to duck out, but he finally sighed.

"No alcohol, mmkay? I'm sure you can handle it even if you're underage because you don't follow the laws properly but...Ku, ku, ku. Never again." He vowed to himself.

For some reason everybody's eyes drifted to Mois. Saburo was very confused.

"I guess we'll have to use another disgusting drink then. That's fine." Saburo hadn't really planned on having alcohol around anyway. It might loosen Angol Mois's lips or Kululu's, but he couldn't buy any. A disgusting drink would prove as an incentive for them to not lie though. "I was hoping we could play a game..."

Keroro and Tamama instantly leaned in closer. "I like games." Keroro said. "This wrap party is already amazing."  
"I'm game." Dororo smiled.

"Truth or Dare obviously. Just a nice opportunity to get to know each other." Saburo smiled, "And perhaps...Tease a few of our comrades." He let the words linger hoping that it would make the others that were less likely to play, want to play. He knew how to manipulate their emotions.

Kululu and Tamama sat down. They liked teasing.

 _So that's what his plan is. Well! I'll turn it around on him. I'll pick on him._ Giroro grinned. "I'd love to."

"You dodge out, you drink-" Saburo didn't have a gross drink on him.

Kululu pulled out a bottle of something. "It's something the captain stirred together. He thought he was a good cook. He was not. Most of these alien organs were not meant to be put in a drink or juiced."  
Keroro turned greener than normal. "I made some mistakes."

Everyone was sitting in a circle around Saburo. He smiled. _All going according to plan._ "Good. So everybody's willing?"

"I mean...As long as it's in good clean fun. And not to be mean." Angol Mois decided.

Tamama laughed loudly.

"How bout someone other than me start? Kululu, I was pretty harsh on you before, making you be a prince and all. You go." Saburo offered.

Kululu nodded. He pointed at Saburo as his target.

"Truth."

"Ku, ku, ku. When Natsumi asked you to the school dance a year ago where were you when you said you were busy?" Kululu asked. His grin widened as Saburo paled.

 _So he's trying to irritate me by asking Natsumi related questions. That's his game._ Saburo realized.

Giroro looked a bit worried that Saburo would say something bad. _I'll get under that pretty boy's skin!_

"I was roller blading." Saburo responded.

"That's it? You rejected Natsumi for roller blading?" Giroro was shocked.

"Well, at the time I had planned on asking Koyuki to the dance. She rejected me and I had said I was busy so I ditched." Saburo winced.

Giroro's eyes widened. "Koyuki?" He was sure Natsumi didn't know this.

"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu grinned.

"Lady Koyuki didn't tell me this either..." Dororo felt left out.

"My turn. Angol Mois." Saburo said quickly.

"I think it'll be safer to say truth?" Angol Mois decided.

Saburo smiled. That was fine. "Have you ever found anyone _besides_ Keroro physically attractive?"

"Why of course." Angol Mois answered simply.

Saburo blinked. That was easy. "Who?"

"You didn't ask that." Angol Mois replied.

"Uncle! Your turn!" Angol Mois giggled.

"Um dare?" Keroro decided.  
"Umm...H-hug?" She tried to stutter out and ask him

"Mmkay." Keroro hugged himself.

A leaf blowed in front of Angol Mois's face. That was not she had meant. This was a failure.

Keroro turned to Tamama and waited for him to respond.

"I want a dare too! Give me a cute dare!" Tamama asked.

"Punch a tree outside until it breaks." Keroro directed.

"Easy." Tamama boasted. He came back in mere seconds. "I am a martial artist! I can do this easily!" He glared at Angol Mois, "Woman! Choose Dare! I'll make you do the worst things."

"Hahahah...That makes me say truth." Angol Mois said quickly.

"All right ever murdered someone in cold blood?" Tamama said his eyes getting pointy and beedy and mean.

"Private! You can't ask that! Mois's sweet and innocent!" Keroro scolded.

"Would you have rather I asked her the intimate sexual questions? Because I assure you, I will..." Tamama had sworn to make this game as terrible for Mois as possible.

A shiver went up Mois's spine and she backed up against the wall. "I mean of course I have. I'm the lord of terror. Most of the time I destroy planets, but you know...It's like the difference between having a doughnut or a bagel. Destroying a large group in an instant is healthy sure, like a bagel, but just one, sometimes that can be so sugary and sweet like a doughnut..." She had lost everybody.

They just stared blankly at what she was saying except Kululu. "Man I wish I could have a bagel. Suddenly you've made me incredibly hungry. Ku, ku, ku."

Angol Mois smiled as everybody shivered and Tamama shouted about how he knew she was evil. "Giroro?"

"Truth." Giroro replied, polishing a gun.

"How many kids do you want with Natsumi?" Angol Mois asked innocently.

Giroro sputtered and turned red. He took the drink. "AUGH! It really is the worst thing in the world! It burns. The after-taste..."

"I warned ya. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu grinned.

Giroro was about to ask him his question but he knew there was no way of getting under Kululu's skin. "Saburo."  
"Dare." Saburo shrugged.

"Don't date Natsumi." Giroro ordered.

"Long-term, can't happen. It fails as a dare." Keroro directed.

Dororo waited for his turn and to be asked. It never happened.

Saburo smiled it was his turn again. Just as he planned. Giroro would likely always ask him to try to get under his skin. _Better keep asking Mois questions. After all if I ask Kululu something too specific he'll get mad for me ratting him out to his platoon mates and he'll become suspicious._ Mois had to be the innocent victim. He pointed to her and she looked shocked at being asked again.

"T-truth?" She was getting a little worried.

Tamama's eyes widened. "Saburo, Oh my god...Are you picking on Mois? I mean you've only chosen her."

"What? No. What are you talking about?" Saburo lied.

"I can work with this. I'll help." Tamama grinned.

Saburo ignored him. He would just have to hope that Tamama asked the correct questions about Angol Mois's romantic history, her types, and romantic ideals or thoughts on Kululu. "So what do you mean of course when you said you found other people physically attractive? And who?" Saburo asked.

"Oh." Angol Mois eased up. "Well I stole a pekoponians physical appearance didn't I? Of course I'd have to find her attractive so I can be cute too."

"That's...So egotistical." Keroro frowned.

"Yeah but it can't just be Asami, right? Name at least...Three." Saburo decided. Maybe Kululu would be up there.

"Mmkay. Asami's cute. Natsumi's pretty cute too. If I ever had to stop looking like Asami I'd look like Natsumi." Angol Mois wasn't getting this. "And Kululuko. She's also cute."

"She's my robot suite you know. That's weird." Kululu pointed out.

Giroro grumbled about Natsumi in the background.

"Kululu!" Angol Mois pointed.

"Dare, I guess. I don't want you giving me a sappy truth like 'oh what was your saddest childhood memory, or tell me about your first big romance.' crap like that. Ku, ku, ku." He knew Mois too well.

"Stare at me as long as you can." Angol Mois directed.

It wasn't very long. Soon, Kululu had collapsed again. Angol Mois just pouted.

"Guys. Guys, I haven't been asked yet." Dororo waved in the background.

Kululu awoke at Dororo's cries. But he pretended to ignore him. "Captain."

"Truth. I'm afraid of your dares." Keroro confessed.

"Would you ever date a pekoponian looking female?" Kululu asked. He didn't only ask about this for the female reason, but also because he didn't want another Giroro on their hands.

"Nope. I'll do at least one thing right and not date our enemy." Keroro nodded.

"Ku, ku, ku...Okay...Well then what about pekoponian males?" Kululu asked.

"You didn't ask that but for the record I don't go for pekoponians...Or males! Yeah! I'm not like that." Keroro shook his head dramatically. "Umm...Uhh..." he was about to point at Tamama but for Angol Mois's sake he didn't. Instead he pointed at Giroro.

"Truth. Your dares are awful." Giroro frowned.

"When was the last time you dreamed about Natsumi in an inappropriate manner?" Keroro teased just to be mean.

Giroro drank. He then cried from the grossness. He then pointed at Saburo, like Saburo expected.

"Truth."

"Do you like Natsumi?" Giroro asked.

"Sure, she's a nice friend." Saburo wasn't direct just to be a jerk. Giroro looked irritated.

"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu laughed in approval.

"Mois." Saburo continued the repetitive cycle. Everybody sort of raised an eyebrow unsure of why he was picking on her.

"Truth?" His truths weren't too bad.

"Do you think glasses make someone more or less attractive usually? Would you say you're into them?" Saburo asked a direct question. _I did list Kululu as the jerk with glasses type. And he's definitely got the destruction she's into. I just don't know if she likes any part of his...unfortunate appearance._

Angol Mois tilted her head. "I don't know. I mean I don't have a glasses fetish if that's what you're asking. I mean glasses are just kind of a thing that exist. They look cute on some people, but I don't think someone like Uncle could pull them off. Kululu looks nice in them though."

Kululu was turned away from Saburo and everybody. Saburo couldn't tell if Kululu was blushing but he could assume he was from the way the back of his head was a tiny bit pink. Perhaps he had turned away from that comment?

 _Good. This means there is hope._ Saburo decided.

"Uncle! And I assume you are too afraid to choose dare?" Angol Mois asked.

"I'm not a wimp, but...Yeah." Keroro nodded.

"All right! Then my question for you is what can a girl do to become attractive to you?" Angol Mois asked. She was not subtle in the least bit.

Keroro turned deeply pink. "Be a- I'm going to drink. I mean I'm sure my own cooking isn't that bad?" It was. He was coughing and hacking very quickly.

Finally he turned to Tamama when he was done. "Private, truth or dare."  
"Truth. Since your dare wasn't the least bit good." Tamama frowned.

"If you could do anything with me what would you do?" Keroro asked, grinning. This was a fun and innocent question.

"Well. I suppose since it's a truth I'll have to answer it." Tamama took a deep breath. "I'd start with covering you in whipped cream and chocolate (censored, censored, Censored ! #!# # )" Tamama's words just got raunchier and raunchier and more and more censored.

Everybody was shocked and silent. Angol Mois's eyes were wide, her hand was over her mouth.

"I...I don't think she's ever heard something so perverted and in detail." Kululu confessed.

"I don't think any of us wanted to hear that." Giroro sighed. There was so much silence.  
"UNCLE! Uncle's dead!" Angol Mois yelled, terrified. "There's so much blood!"

"Huh. I thought only Giroro fainted of nose bleeds. I honestly thought there was a fifty percent chance the captain wouldn't process any of it and somehow brush it off and not understand. Ku, ku, ku. I wonder if he'll remember when he wakes up."

"I finally did it! I killed Mr. Sergeant with my dangerous words!" Tamama fist bumped.

Angol Mois just cried over Keroro not understanding he wasn't actually dead.

The game ended in silence and Saburo having to rethink many things. He hoped he was able to sleep properly that night.

He didn't think anyone in that game would though.

 _What a failure. All I got closer together was Dororo and Mois and Keroro and Tamama._ Tomorrow, after deeply suppressing memories, he'd try again.

That was too lewd and detailed even for him.

* * *

 **The true way to have fun with truth or dare games is to actually have fun questions. However I could not or I'd have an M rating so Tamama destroying the game is as far as you'll get.**

 **His speech was much longer than the censoring went on for.**

 **Please review.**


	5. Danger

**This chapter has some problematic elements because this whole story is based around shoujo manga cliches that get characters to fall in love with each other. I just wanted to give a fair warning to that.**

 **Also I didn't edit as much as I really should because I wanted to play more DND today. Sorry.**

* * *

The truth or dare game had failed spectacularly, the play had also somehow managed to fail. "Ugh! This book hasn't given me any actual progress yet!" Saburo complained to himself. "I mean I know it's facing the impossible...actually getting together a successful romance." And sometimes he felt that in this universe that was impossible. If Momoka still hadn't worked up the courage to confess to Fuyuki and he was still as dense as bricks, nobody had any hope. After all Momoka and Fuyuki were the most given romance and even they weren't together yet.

"I am Saburo Hojo." Saburo frowned. "I don't care about the impossible or challenging. I don't care if Mois doesn't know or doesn't have feelings for Kululu, yet. I will get her to have them. And then I'll get Kululu to realize he's happier like this too." He wouldn't let fate or bad luck stop him.

He dramatically flipped the pages of his book over and over again. There had to be a chapter or section big enough that would have the perfect plan.

It had to be large enough that it would spark feelings in both of them, and he couldn't have it have something to do with asking Kululu favors. Kululu was getting way suspicious and he was not only really mad about the blind date thing, he was beginning to suspect something was up with the play thing as well.

"What's going on? Trying to pull as many pranks as you can before leaving, Saburo? That's something Keroro would do, not you." Keroro was still out of commission, and Kululu had approached Saburo when they were alone.

"Why do you think I'm trying to pull a prank on you?" Saburo had tried to play innocent as he flipped his pen around.

Kululu didn't reply. Instead he narrowed his eyes in anger.

"I don't know who let it slip to you about the relationship between me and Mois-"

Saburo raised a brow _very_ interested. Nobody had. _What relationship? There's still something I'm missing here._

"But you only have so much time left in this country. Don't waste it pulling a petty prank on me. Ku, ku, ku. I thought we had moved past that point where we were trying to one up each other." Kululu tried to reason, for once his voice dropping to a serious tone.

"No prank, I swear. I just thought she'd be a good princess. And you were my best friend so I put you in the role of a prince." Saburo tried to reason.

Kululu's anger dropped a little to only mild suspicion.

"What relationship do you two have?" Saburo asked trying to keep the hint of interest out of your voice. "There's definitely something it sounds like you've been hiding from me."

Kululu paled. "I thought we were over this. She's….In my nightmares." He confessed.

 _Bull crap._ Saburo had wanted to say. "Why? I'm still so confused."

Kululu looked like he really didn't want to go over this, or even confess to this folly of his. "I...Um...It seems I'm afraid of Angol Mois. My life has flashed before my eyes several times around her." There was a full seriousness to his voice.

Saburo did not know how this could be. Was it because she was a planet destroyer? But Kululu didn't ever sound like he had a problem with that. "I, I didn't know she was that threatening...Is she that big of a threat to the planet?" This was an issue.

Kululu shook his head. "She's a threat to me! Her intoxicating innocence….She's trying to make me pure!"

Saburo just blinked. Kululu had lost him again. "Excuse me?"

"I'm a dark and evil soul. That level of purity could bring me to the bright side. And I won't let that happen. She's almost killed me several times..." Kululu chattered. "I didn't want you to know about my fear...My weakness. I knew you'd be the type to use it."

 _I don't know if I can use it. It's a level of idiocy I'm not sure how to feel about._ Saburo thought. At least he knew how Kululu felt about things now, but….It sounded almost unreal. He knew Kululu was utterly convinced of these facts and honestly he wasn't sure how Kululu said those things out loud without realizing they were probably bull crap.

Kululu calling him out now seemed like a distant memory, but it still made him know that Kululu was suspicious of his plans. So there could be no more favors that he could ask for. Luckily the chapter he found seemed overly-dramatic, almost over the top and wouldn't need Kululu's knowledge of the plot at all.

"How to spark feelings in two people who either don't know they're in love or make two people fall in love." Saburo smiled. "Warning: Could possibly cause a severe amount of anger."

He didn't mind anger. It would fade eventually after all, and he could handle it. And anger only happened if Kululu managed to find out what he did.

He started reading the chapter more in depth so he could organize a good plan for what to do. Reading the text made Saburo sure that Momoka had read this book. It was so over-dramatic.

"Operation danger: Fake a dangerous situation or a near death scenario to make the couple realize they're in love with each other. They'll confess when they think the other is about to die." Saburo shrugged.

It sounded like the classic sort of thing that any of his friends would use in their own romance plots. He could definitely see someone like Giroro falling for it too. He wondered if Kululu would get caught up in the moment too.

 _He might not confess, but he'll definitely worry about her. I mean...He's not terrible. And saving Mois's life will make her love him more too._ Saburo was sure of. She was always going on and on about 'prince charmings' and 'romances' to be honest he didn't think the girl had a thought in her head besides romance until he had read her letter about her type being someone who could cause mass chaos.

He better have Angol Mois be the person in danger then. And he knew exactly the person to ask so that Kululu could take the situation seriously.

 _It's all pretend and staged so she won't actually be in danger...Things will be fine._ Saburo had to be enthusiastic about this plan. He'd put himself fully in it.

It would work. It had to.

* * *

Saburo was no alien, but it was really easy to put on some pipe cleaners and pom poms and walk around alien street and pretend to be a poyon.

Eventually he came across who he was looking for. The creature was smoking in a back alley, looking like a classic bad boy. Half of it's body was made out of metal, the other half organic. It had a gun for a hand and a head of a snake. It was the creature known as Viper.

"Yo Mecha Viper." Saburo waved.

"Do I know you?" The mecha viper asked, unable to distinguish who Saburo was thanks to his clever disguise.

"Eh, just ignore that. How ya doing, bud?" Saburo knew they were not buds, especially since Mecha Viper now lived on Pekopon antagonizing the Keroro platoon now and then. Still the viper would serve his purpose well, he was always looking for mercenary work and Kululu would take him as a proper threat when he really wasn't.

Saburo had seen the Vipers they were virtually harmless.

"Whaddya want?" The viper crumpled up his cigarette and stomped on it. He could tell that Saburo had a glint in his eyes that said he wanted something. And he was happy to take a job if he was awarded cash.

"Ah so you saw that I had a job." Saburo smiled and complimented. "Yeah I have a task for you, but it's difficult..."

"You want me to kill someone?" The mecha viper asked. "I no longer do those sorts of tasks. I'm no longer that type of person, also they always blow up in my face. The kids that I run an orphanage for don't like me being a murderer either." The viper frowned.

"No! No heck no! I don't want you to kill anyone!" Saburo said hurriedly. Unlike Kululu he did care about life and death. He cared a lot about others lives. "I need you to pretend you're going to kill someone though."

"The fake death charade, huh? I've been around that block a few times." The viper frowned. "What are the mechanics of this job."  
"I need you to kidnap someone, write a fake ransom note, and then pretend that they're in a fair amount of danger. However you do not give them back if money is involved. Only return them when the other party shows they truly care about them." Saburo instructed.

The Viper grinned. "Kids. I've done this job about a thousand times. It's the pretend someone else is in danger so their love interest will pay attention to them, huh?" The viper nodded. He understood this task very well. "I can be the dangerous villain. And the person you need to confess will be way into the other person by the end. Who am I doing this task for anyway?"

"The person you will be fake kidnapping is this girl." Saburo took a picture out of his pocket. "Her name is Angol Mois. Be careful to separate her phone from her, it serves as a weapon. Don't break it though."

"Ah yeah. I know her." The Viper nodded, "Whenever I attack the Keroro Platoon she's rather nice. Sometimes she offers a cute band-aid to me afterwards, or some cookies. So she's doing an over-the-top desperate plan to get the attention of that Keroro finally?" The Viper winced. "It isn't going to work. I don't think I've ever seen Keroro show any romantic interest in her."

"It's not Keroro who's your target." Saburo said, "Since I'm not doing this on her wishes. She has no idea about this plan."

The Viper raised his eyebrow.

"The other target is Sergeant Major Kululu. I trust you know who that is." Saburo replied.

The Viper's face boiled in rage for a second as he nodded quickly. Everybody knew who Kululu was. "Jerk till the end my ass. I don't know how he did it….But he even managed to be a jerk to a great viper like myself! Giving me two asses that one day..." He grumbled. "He's the biggest jerk around!" He just looked like he was filled with rage.

Saburo sighed. Of course this Viper didn't like Kululu. Would he be willing to try to get Angol Mois and Kululu together then?

"But of course, I am more than willing to do this task for you. I'd love to get under that jerk's skin. I've never seen him express real emotions, but...I'm sure I can get him too. Making someone precious to him, or hearing that someone is precious to him will make it so much easier to get under his skin the next time I attack the Keroro platoon!" The viper laughed. "I'll do it. Here's my fee."

It wasn't that bad of a fee and Saburo had money to spare. _Am I doing the right thing?_ He wondered. The viper was mostly concerned with getting Kululu attached to someone so Kululu could suffer. And he didn't really want Mois to be frightened...But this was one of the plans that would surely at least show that Kululu cared a little.

He knew Kululu wasn't a terrible person. And he had boasted about Angol Mois's great skills as a co-worker. He would not let her face any danger.

 _It's sure to work._ Saburo nodded. Even if morally it was a bit of a terrible plan, it would work. And that's what mattered.

Saburo shook hands with the Viper. The transaction was made. Things were done. He could just hope that things went well.

* * *

Angol Mois was all alone as she looked around alien street, holding a list in her hands.

"Uncle sure has a lot of materials he needed for the invasion plan." Didn't he realize that after so many years it just wasn't going to happen? Of course years didn't mean the same things to keronians and angolians. Pekoponians had a lot shorter lifespans so they aged a lot quicker and had a feeling that life was much more fleeting.

Angol Mois knew keronians should have had that feeling too. Especially since they were an invader species. Giroro definitely had those fleeting feelings, she knew. Like he was growing and learning along with Natsumi's lifespan and he had been reborn again on Pekopon.

But Keroro...Keroro for some reason always seemed to have the atmosphere that he was a child. Years, months, days...None of it meant anything to him. And he never accepted any reality that he didn't agree with. It was childish. But Mois didn't fault him for it.

After all, observers might call her childish for sticking to him after all these years. She'd like to think of it as love, but someone else might call it pure stubborness. She would have called them rude in response.

Still she was dedicated. Even if Keroro might have been doing something stupid, not accepting the truth, she'd keep helping him in his pointless invasion. She couldn't do her own task of destroying the planet until he finished after all.

Angol Mois squinted at the scribbled down words of materials that Keroro needed. It was mostly fancy foods. Sometimes she wondered if these things were even useful materials. She should know better than to question Keroro's wisdom.

"I wish Kululu would have come with me. He at least makes these trips a little more bearable." Sometimes he would fix the list by cutting off a few items that he felt unnecessary. Usually he would ask to go to some sort of tech store though after they were done shopping. It was always so much fun to look around at computer parts with him, because he always got so excited and even when Angol Mois felt she knew a lot about the materials he would still teach her a little bit more about the world of technology.

She sighed a bit, feeling a bit lonesome as she passed the computer store the two of them usually toured together. Kululu had passed on going out with her today for invasion shopping. She didn't know why, although she had plenty of guesses.

It either had to do with the fact that he was still avoiding her over the blind date fiasco- although he assured her he was not avoiding her, Mois was positive that if somebody pretended that they weren't there by ducking under a table that meant she was generally being avoided.

Or it could be that Kululu just wanted to spend some time with Saburo. She had heard some sort of rumor from Fuyuki that Saburo was picking his college that he was going off to, and that it might not be in a different country.

 _A different country isn't that far away._ She thought to herself. She knew Kululu had looked a little bummed out lately, so it could be that, but she just couldn't process the distance between countries. They all came from another planet, that was much farther.

Heck, she came from another dimension! That was about as far away as you could get. Another country shouldn't be that far from the keronians. They could visit in about an hour thanks to their superior technology. Mois could travel around the planet in less than a second so she really didn't understand how Saburo moving was a big deal.

 _Still...I hope it was that reason. I'd hate for things to be awkward between me and Kululu just because...I don't know, Saburo tried to play a prank on us. It was really mean spirited too._ The more she thought about it the more sure she was that Kululu was just spending a lot of time away from her was so he could spend time with Saburo.

It was reasonable and made logical sense. It also made her feel less weirdly Kululu sick over the fact that he wasn't shopping with her. It was something that she always looked forward to, spending time with him and making working for Keroro better than it actually was in reality.

"Okay...Just a few more things..." Angol Mois squinted. At least she thought it was a few things. She really couldn't read Keroro's hand writing well.

"Yo." Angol Mois looked up from her list and saw a Viper standing in front of her. The crowd of people seemed to move aside so that they wouldn't run into him.

Like a sea being pulled apart, it was just her and him. _Does he want Uncle's super secret invasion plan?_ Angol Mois wondered. Well, she highly doubted he'd translate Keroro's plan. After all it sounded like a bunch of nonsense to her.

"Hello." She greeted. "Is there...Something you need?" She quickly put the shopping list in her pocket so the Viper wouldn't see it.

The Viper frowned. "I'm...Uhhh going to kidnap you today." Usually he was much better with these fake danger plans and all than he was today. But Angol Mois...She was a sweet girl and he didn't want to scare her too much. So he just straight out said his plan.

Angol Mois raised her eyebrow. "Um…?" She took a step back. Maybe it was a good idea to just avoid eye contact and walk away? "No thanks?"

"Sorry, it's for a good purpose." Revenge on Kululu in his mind. "I just wanted to warn you and assure you that I wish no harm on you." Perhaps this was the wrong way to go about this.

"It's just your vendetta on the Keroro platoon, I know, I know. I just don't really feel like getting kidnapped." Angol Mois shrugged. She really didn't want to be gone for days on end and then come back after the Viper gave up on holding her and Keroro still asking about the shopping list.

 _I don't think I'd be any leverage against the Keroro platoon. I know he's a mercenary but I'm not going to let this happen._ She frowned. "I'm not just kindness and rainbows. I'm not just going to say 'mmkay!' and let you kidnap me. You could say, not good at fighting but if it's a fight you want…?"

Angol Mois took out her phone. Before she could transform the viper shot his gun arm and created a net around her.

"Sorry. I really do apologize. The net has sleeping gas in it." Mois was a sweet girl, so doing something against her wishes really did make him feel at least a little guilty.

He didn't particularly care about the rest of the Keroro platoon's feelings though.

 _No! Sleeping gas! One of my several weaknesses! It's just too tempting to sleep!_ Angol Mois's eyes widened. "N-no." She gasped out a small plea.

Of course the space police didn't help at all. They knew who Angol Mois was, and angolians didn't fall under their jurisdiction to protect at all.

Mois passed out, unable to stop herself.

* * *

When Angol Mois woke up, she wasn't uncomfortable. She was seated in a nice chair and there were plenty of flowers around her as if to make amends for the bad situation. Snacks were in front of her too. Although one hand was hand-cuffed to a pole, most of the rest of the place wasn't bad.

The Viper stood in front of her as Angol Mois tried to look around as to where they were. She knew she'd most likely have to get herself out of here on her own. It appeared to be a mostly empty warehouse.

"Sorry again. I'm just doing a job. And it...Really doesn't have anything to do with you." The viper apologized. "Cookie?" he offered.

Angol Mois felt a stab of guilt. _He's already treating me better than Uncle. This sucks._ She'd be here for who knew how long and she felt useless, scared, and alone over the fact that she knew for a fact that nobody would be looking for her and the person most concerned with her safety was the person who had kidnapped her.

 _Maybe I can talk my way out of this._ "Why did you kidnap me? What purpose am I supposed to serve? I thought you were dropping this mean act to raise an orphanage of children, mecha Viper?" Angol Mois pointed out.

"Orphanages take money. That's why I took this job." The viper shrugged.

 _So someone else set him up._ She tried to mentally run through the Keroro Platoon's enemies, but her mind kept coming up with Tamama. For some reason she felt he was the one who most likely wanted her out of the picture.

"I'm going to be ransoming you off to the Keroro platoon. The notes already been sent and left. So don't panic. You won't be here long." The Viper assured.

"Ransom?" Angol Mois gave a harsh but sad laugh. "Uncle won't spend any money getting me back. I mean he's sweet, but Uncle cares about his gundam model money." Her voice was so hurt. She knew sadly Keroro still didn't care for her in the way she wanted him to.

But something hurt more than ever to know she was less important than money to him.

"The note wasn't delivered to Keroro." The Viper corrected.

Angol Mois raised an eyebrow. "Who then? Giroro? Dororo? I mean, I suppose they might help me out." She had a good chance then.

"Kululu." The Viper corrected.

Angol Mois's eyes widened. She...Actually didn't know what Kululu would do. Her hand relaxed a little bit, knowing that she'd probably see Kululu soon.

"But I'm not taking his money, don't worry. I don't accept cash twice for one job." The viper told her.

"So you just want him to show up? Wait, you're not luring him out here to fight are you?" Angol Mois asked. "Because if you are...I won't let you. I don't care what it takes I'll free myself and-"

The Viper laughed. "Didn't know you two were so close from your side. It would be sweet if he wasn't such a jerk." He frowned. "Nah, I just want him to show up."  
"Show up?" Angol Mois was confused.

"Sorry, I can't reveal my plot. That's my instructions. But let me assure you I mean no harm." The Viper told her.

She didn't want to believe him. After all she knew kidnappers tried to trick you all the time. "I don't believe you! If you truly meant me no harm, you wouldn't have kidnapped me and drugged me with sleeping gas. I wouldn't be handcuffed. You could say, actions don't fit your words?"

She needed to stick up for herself. She didn't know if Kululu would actually show up after all. She wanted him to. She wanted him desperately to come and help her out, but a little voice in the back of her head was scared that he'd leave her just like Keroro might.

The Viper frowned. "I'm really sorry about all this. You'll understand and thank me later. Trust me." He knew this was for Kululu's humiliation, so he had to do it.

* * *

Saburo knew from experience that Kululu would do pay whatever it took to help a friend out if they were in trouble. He hoped Mois counted as a friend.

He didn't deliver the letter directly but he left it so Kululu could get it at the same time the kidnapping took place. He didn't want Mois to be scared for any longer than necessary.

Kululu was typing on his computers, trying not to think of his millions of problems. There were so many anxious insecurities circling around his head. Saburo leaving, his unfortunate mistake of saying Mois and him were on a date, Mois rejecting him and the worry that she was thinking about it and over analyzing it just as much as he was.

A note slipped under his door. It took a few minutes for him to realize it was there. "Ku, ku, ku? I wonder who this could be from."

It was probably Keroro asking for some sort of invention. Sometimes he slipped notes under his door.

 _Couldn't have been Mois. I know she likes the almost childish idea of passing notes and all during invasion meetings, but I don't think she's back yet from shopping._ Kululu decided.

She had been away for a long time. He wondered if he should have gone with, just for safety….Not her safety of course, others safety. He didn't know if anything would blow up on alien street on one of her whims.

That and he oddly enough just felt like something wasn't right. She was gone an awful long time. _I wonder if I should have accepted her invitation to go out. It wasn't like I was doing anything better. Saburo said he was busy today anyway._ At the moment spending time with Saburo took priority over spending time with Mois since Saburo would be leaving soon and Kululu was 90% sure that as long as he stayed in the Keroro platoon with Keroro, Angol Mois would be in his life.

He looked down and the note and read it. He froze as he saw the logo of the Viper on it.

He almost pressed a red alarm button to call the rest of the platoon since the Viper was all their enemy, however, he stopped himself and decided to read before he did that.

This note could be something about the Viper crying over one of Kululu's pranks after all.

" **Kululu. I hope this note finds you in good health, NOT! I wanted you to know that I ran into something at alien street that I thought you'd be interested in."**

Kululu read. _Please don't be Mois. Please don't be Mois._ Maybe the Viper was talking about a curry restaurant? Or some cool hardware he wanted and the Viper had stolen?

" **I think I have stolen something very precious to you. The one called Angol Mois, right? You two are always talking and hanging out together in the sidelines when I show up to cause trouble. She your girlfriend or something?"** He could hear the viper's teasing voice.

"Crap. Crap." Kululu was trying not to panic. He probably didn't realize that a Viper wasn't nearly as dangerous to an angolian as it was to a keronian. Vipers were keronians sworn enemies, but they weren't that dangerous to someone like Angol Mois. He didn't even think too much about the girlfriend line. He had bigger things to think about.

" **We're in the abandoned warehouse in district 9, the address is 71243 street Bay."** The letter described. " **Bring cash, 1,000,000 yen and she will remain unharmed. If you don't bring it and show up armed I'll kill her** **on the spot. See ya soon."**

Kululu's eyes widened. He didn't really have any time for his lip to quiver but he did let out a cuss word. Not at Mois for getting captured but for the Viper for putting him in the situation.

He never liked it when Angol Mois was in danger. It happened rarely, but it always sent a degree of panic through him. He always took the situation as seriously as it was in reality.

After all she was his precious co-worker. He knew for a fact that he couldn't work without her, every time she had to be in an angol stone for an indetermined amount of time and wasn't by his side safe and happy instead, he felt nauseous.

He just couldn't keep his thoughts off of Mois in those situations. He would become consumed with worry until he himself fixed the problem and brought her back. Not only that he would get weirdly lonely, imagining that she was by his side.

This wasn't like that situation though. This was much more serious. She wasn't sleeping somewhere and he just was a weakling who couldn't stand being without her. She was in actual danger. He didn't have time to alert the rest of the platoon.

He started typing wildly to get into the budget and drain the invasion funds. Finances and the keys to the invasion fund were Mois's area of expertise, Kululu wasn't really allowed in there, but he knew her passwords well enough to hack in there.

 _Usually when I need to steal money I just ask Mois because it's rude to step too much on the responsibilities that Keroro has given her. She'll feel useless if I do that._ But this was different. She couldn't give him permission. And he didn't care if she didn't trust him if he used her passwords to help her.

She always gave him money when he needed to help Saburo out. He should be able to take money to help her too.

He got the money in a few minutes, putting it all together in a briefcase, he tried not to shake too much.

"She'll be fine. She really will. Viper's are bad, but...She'll be fine." If she wasn't...Well, after killing the Viper he didn't know what he would do.

* * *

Saburo hadn't seen Kululu's reaction. If he had he'd either have felt bad for the true level of manipulation he was doing to his friend that was causing him such emotional distress or clap that his plan was going well.

Manipulation was just kind of in both of them. Perhaps that was why they were friends. Kululu had tried to manipulate Saburo several times in nearly the same way just for a laugh as if it was a harmless joke.

Both of them were problematic. Saburo tried not to think about how this was probably all at Mois's expense.

He stayed away from the warehouse out of sight. He had headphones to hear inside and binoculars though. He smiled as Kululu approached.

"He did show up! Good!" Saburo smiled.

Things were going according to plan.

* * *

Angol Mois and the Viper tried to pass time while they waited for Kululu. They played checkers even though Angol Mois wanted to yell and protest and be more uncomfortable with the situation.

 _Maybe I can get him off guard._ She thought to herself. But eventually after beating him in several checker games, which the Viper screamed about, she started having fun. The Viper put in some dvds of some soap operas and they started discussing various shows and who should get together with who.

Angol Mois was unfortunately getting very distracted. "And that character reminds me of Dororo, always crying about how he's forgotten!" She said.

"Well then that one reminds me of the red one….Giroro, was his name, right? Super love sick!" The Viper laughed.

"Oh and look at that mess up. That's definitely Uncle. I mean everybody loves them for it, but still..They even like anime!" Angol Mois wasn't even taking the kidnapping seriously anymore. She was just pretending she was having fun with a new friend.

"Well then that one's Kululu. The little jerk who tries to get under everybody's skin and has absolutely no friends." The Viper laughed.

Angol Mois frowned. "Kululu has friends. Saburo for one, and me. I'm his friend." She paused. "Kululu will come for me. I'm sure of it." It was unclear if she was saying this to convince herself or because she was fully sure of it and threatening the Viper.

"I know." The Viper told her. He paused for a second. "I always thought the little yellow dude didn't care about anyone, but I'm pretty sure he'll come to help you out, which is odd..."

"Since Uncle probably wouldn't and he's the one who really should be helping?" Angol Mois asked.

"Nah it's odd cuz I never thought Kululu cared about any one. What's the deal between you two anyway? You said he was your friend and looked...visibly angry when you thought I was luring him out to attack him, which I'm not." The Viper didn't know if he would get an answer. It wasn't like he was playing counselor or anything, but he was curious.

"We're co-workers." Mois said simply. "We work on the tech team in Uncle's platoon. And the bond of the tech team is a bond that is hard to break. We rely on each other s lot for work. I think we trust each other? I mean I trust him. I think he trusts me too."

"So...There's nothing romantic between you two? I mean I knew you were co-workers, that's obvious, but to me sometimes when I come to attack Keroro or Giroro sometimes it looks like you two are brushing me off and flirting in the background." The Viper tried to reason. He hadn't really seen it before before Saburo had pointed it out. He wanted to see if Angol Mois could give him more answers than the poyon Saburo could.

He'd get Kululu to realize how he much he liked her from this situation anyway, he just wanted to know where things were to Mois.

"Hahaha! That's funny." Mois visibly laughed. "Nah, I'm in love with someone else. I don't flirt with anybody in the background." She corrected. "Kululu and I are just friends."

"Then why will he show up to pay ransom when Keroro wouldn't?" The Viper asked.

Angol Mois opened her mouth. She didn't really have an answer for that. She didn't want to accept it as a truth that Kululu cared about her more than Keroro did, because that really botched her chances with Keroro, but she really had no response for that.

"Kululu and my relationship is complicated." It had a mixture of fear, friendship and trust in it. "But I do trust him more than anything to get me out of this. He would never leave me to be kidnapped. Kululu is a good person."

That made the Viper laugh. "Yeah, only to you, I think. I know where your relationship stands from just that line." Either Mois was very very dumb and didn't know Kululu was terrible or Kululu loved her a lot and really did cherish her.

He'd see soon enough. He knew he'd have to be mean to Mois for a little bit and frighten her when Kululu did show up, but it would be worth it to see her smile and thank him for letting her see just how much Kululu cherished her.

That and he wanted to see Kululu humiliated. Mostly that.

* * *

The doors swung open since Kululu didn't even knock. He put his arms up to show that he meant no harm though.

"Yo. I'm here." Kululu tried to act cool, calm and composed as he looked at the Viper. As soon as the doors opened the Viper pushed the checker board aside.

"Kululu! I knew you'd come!" Angol Mois looked over-joyed to see him.

Kululu tried not to let it show that this situation was getting to him. He raised a brow at the checker board on the floor in confusion. "Don't tell me you made friends with the enemy, Mois. Was this situation really not as bad as I was picturing? I mean I took it pretty seriously since it's the Keroro Platoon's number one enemy, a Viper." He scolded.

He tried to make it seem like that was the reason he showed up. The Viper alone. Not Mois.

 _Oh good. He did take the Viper threat seriously._ Saburo watched and listened in. The Viper had been a good choice.

"Well, I mean the Viper was pretty nice-" Angol Mois tried to stick up for the Viper and play devil's advocate.

The Viper grabbed her and put her in a choke hold to get her to stop talking, that and he had to get her in the mind-set that this situation was serious now, even if it wasn't. "Ha! You fell for my plot. Say another word and I'll start choking you." He threatened.

Angol Mois's eyes widened in fear as the arm tightened around her. She went limp trying not to move too much. _But wait...He was so friendly a second ago…._ She had been tricked. Her new friend was dangerous and hadn't acted like this before.

 _I...I'm always like this. Why do I keep trying to give people a second chance?_ If someone kidnapped her she shouldn't relate to them or try to play nice. That was a one way ticket to Stockholm syndrome. She couldn't really nodded, but she closed her eyes trying not to cry or whimper.

 _Eeep. This is hard._ Saburo thought to himself. Mois looked frightened which was what he intended to happen, but he still felt kind of bad. He'd beg her forgiveness later.

"Wait!" Kululu tried to keep the panic out of his voice. "I mean, no reason to do that. I brought the money just like you wanted. Captain would have my head if we lost her." He slid over the briefcase to the Viper.

The viper brought the briefcase to his face by kicking it upwards with his foot. He opened it with his none gun hand and looked at the money. "This is all of it. Did your captain give you permission? You got it quickly..."

"I made some executive decisions for speed's sake and because this was a serious situation. I'm not an idiot. I don't brush off a Viper threat. Ku." Kululu frowned. "There's all your money. Now hand her over." He ordered.

Angol Mois squirmed a bit, ready to be freed from the Viper's arms. She just wanted to rush over to Kululu and be away from this already.

The Viper dropped the briefcase and slid it back with his foot. He switched the arm that was holding Mois and put his gun to her head instead.

Mois's eyes widened. "W-what…?"

 _This must have been what he meant. He didn't want money or to attack Kululu. He wanted to kill me in front of him._ Angol Mois was horrified. Her eyes desperately scanned for her phone. She couldn't find it at all. There was no chance she could get out of this.

"Wait, it had all your money!" Kululu's voice was shrill and on the verge of panic. "Whaddya want now? More? There wasn't a bill missing. We had a deal!"

"You don't really care about this girl at all, I realized. Doesn't matter what I'd ask for." The Viper responded. "I could probably get more from someone who actually cared about her, which isn't you. You just don't want to mess up for your job for liabilities sake."

"Yeah but you can't get anything from anyone if she's dead. You can't use her on the captain if she's dead!" Kululu tried to reason, trying to convince the Viper to spare Mois's life.

The Viper grinned. This was where Kululu would start confessing and begging for Mois's life. "I can see that you wouldn't hurt at all from me killing this girl. So I might as well. She's useless and pointless to me now." The Viper said like he was a big villain.

His gun arm started charging, or fake charging.

"T-that's not true-" Angol Mois tried to cry out.

Kululu was about to run forward or do something but he instead clenched his hand into a fist. The worry stopped clouding his glasses and he really thought about the situation.

He had no weapons to save Mois. If the Viper didn't want money he had no bargaining chip either. All he had was his intellect. And the Viper had let it slip what he wanted

 _He wants me to hurt because he kills Mois. He can tell that I care about her at least a little bit. That's why he delivered that note._ The Viper was lying about his reason to kill Mois being that she was useless to him. That was bull crap. Kululu had just tried to give him a ton of money.

 _I'm not Giroro. I can't go in and save her and think about only her. I need to calm down and see this situation clearly._ It was clear what he had to do and what would save Mois.

After all the Viper probably didn't care anything about Mois's life. He was just trying to get a rise out of him. His enemy was the Keroro platoon, not Mois. His enemy was Kululu.

"Okay. Go ahead." Kululu shrugged. The panic, the worry was now completely out of his voice and his body and posture was fake cold. He didn't even turn his back on it.

Saburo dropped his binoculars. _Wait, what's going on?_

"W-what?" The Viper asked. This didn't usually happen. The person was usually pleading with him for the others life, giving dramatic love confessions and all.

"I mean you're right. I wouldn't hurt at all from you killing that girl. I tried my best, ehh I'm tired now. Effort and helping takes too much work that I'm not willing to put in. I mean the captain might be mad but he'll get over it. I can give him a gundam model." The Viper wouldn't just kill Mois for being completely useless. "ku, ku, ku." Kululu picked up the briefcase. "Can I leave now? Or are you going to get it over with?"

The Viper just stared at him. He looked down at Mois who was now no longer squirming and just staring at Kululu like her heart was breaking.

The Viper lowered his gun from Angol Mois's head and his arm from her throat. _Man...I just scared and traumatized this girl for nothing because Kululu's terrible._

"Kululu...That's just awful! I can't believe you would say something like that! You're awful." Angol Mois was now crying.

Kululu wasn't really looking at her. He was kind of ignoring her and watching the Viper unhandcuff her.

"I'm going to go now. Toss me the shopping list because I assume you didn't finish." Kululu demanded.

"I can't believe you care more about the shopping list than me…." Angol Mois continued crying but brought the shopping list out of her pocket and tossed it to him.

 _Thank god. The Viper isn't stopping her. That means that as soon as I leave she's free to go home. As long as I keep acting casual she's safe._ And Kululu was doing a pretty good job of acting like a horrible, uncaring jerk.

He felt terrible about Angol Mois crying but it was a much needed alternative to her dying. And now that Angol Mois was super mad at him the Viper was actually carefully apologizing to her for this whole situation and looking after her like a mother hen.

As long as someone was an enemy of the Keroro platoon after all, they were an ally to a Viper. Mois was safe.

Kululu left in a hurry. He didn't go shopping though. He headed home so he could wait for Angol Mois and make sure she was uninjured.

"I..I can't believe he just abandoned me to die! I believed in him so much!" Angol Mois wasn't even paying attention to the fact that her imprisoned, the viper was right next to her.

"Uhhh I am so sorry...Usually that situation works a lot better. I had no idea. I knew he couldn't feel anything. Shouldn't have listened to that poyon brat." The Viper gritted his teeth.

"And you!" Angol Mois stood up as the Viper offered her her phone. "You tried to kill me. I was going to die….I was going to die!"

"No you weren't!" The Viper assured. "Look, this is a usual con I do that I was hired to do for money. I kidnap someone precious or important to someone, like someone's love interest or something and then pretend they're in danger. I don't free them until the person dramatically confesses how much they love or care about them. You were not going to be hurt at all." He assured. "It was just a paid job ya know? And usually the people conned are pretty happy afterwards cuz their weird love has been reignited."

 _Paid? Who paid the Viper?_ Angol Mois wondered. "But that didn't go as planned for you this time." Angol Mois hissed.

"Yeah, cuz Kululu is an awful person. You're a sweet girl. You deserve way better friends. I am so sorry for this whole situation." The Viper apologized. "Please go home...And get some good rest."

Angol Mois just frowned, wiped at her face and nodded. She was mad at the Viper, confused who had arranged this and super mad at Kululu. She left to go home.

Saburo entered the building as soon as she was out of sight.

"You had some bad insight." The Viper told him.

Saburo was still horrified. He had not expected that at all. "He...He just did nothing!" Even with him, Kululu would have done something. He would have tried harder.

"I don't think he loves her at all." The Viper shrugged.

"And I hurt her a lot from this. I thought at the end she'd at least feel like someone cared about her to make up for the whole kidnapping thing..." Saburo trailed off. He had to make it up to Angol Mois.

When Kululu did fall in love with Angol Mois, which he was now going to push more than ever, for Mois's sake too so she could properly make him take back his cruel words, Saburo was going to make sure he never treated another person like that again.

Kululu had to be better than this. He wouldn't let his friend be so awful and horrible to leave someone to die.

 _Okay. So maybe his feelings are much deeper hidden. Maybe he's absolutely convinced they're fear and would be happy if she left. But I'm sure there are feelings or that I at least could make them._ He could conjure something from nothing thanks to his pen.

There would be feelings. There would be feelings whether Kululu liked them or not.

Angol Mois now deserved it just as much as Kululu.

* * *

 **Me: I will have one story where Kululu doesn't start off with feelings for Mois.**

 **Me: ...Hmmm that doesn't feel right.**

 **Anyway that's how this happened.**

 **Please review.**


	6. Love Triangle

**Okay here's another chapter chocked full of shoujo cliches.**

* * *

So the whole danger plan hadn't gone as planned. Angol Mois was still super mad at Kululu and avoiding him, and Saburo didn't know what Kululu was doing because he wasn't supposed to know and he couldn't just stroll up and ask.

"I...I got to choose something less dangerous and less likely to blow up in my face. Something that doesn't hurt Angol Mois at all this time." Saburo decided, flipping through his book.

He wondered if this book was cursed absentmindedly. Maybe romances just were though in this universe, although he was still unsure if Keroro had just started getting some with Tamama.

He hadn't really checked up on them. Who knew? Keroro could still be in the hospital for all he knew over a nosebleed. He didn't think anyone had ever seen Keroro nosebleed but wow, did that guy go down hard. He might be dead for all Saburo knew.

He was trying to do the impossible. First off get Kululu a girlfriend even though Kululu was not exactly the boyfriend type looks wise or personality wise, second having a couple have a successful romance.

Both made things look grim.

"Here's one that's got to help!" Saburo decided. "This will mostly work towards Kululu's feelings..." Since he knew for sure that was the problem, "And there's no way it can hurt Mois's feelings."

It was another one of those classic shoujo manga cliches. The love triangle. It was a fail-safe and easy way to make Kululu jealous, pay more attention to Mois, and make Mois happier since she was getting a lot of attention.

He brushed off the fact in his mind that technically if Kululu did fall for Mois they'd already be in a love triangle since she was interested in Keroro. He brushed that off though. Keroro never paid attention to Angol Mois so he didn't have to worry about it.

 _Not only that but when I'm alone with Angol Mois I can try to develop a better friendship with her so that I can learn more about her type and what would make her fall for Kululu._ Saburo decided.

He tried to keep his worries to his minimum about all the different ways this specific task could blow up at him. For example, Kululu could get more jealous of Mois spending time with Saburo since Saburo had minimum time than of Saburo spending time with Mois.

Saburo really desperately hoped that wouldn't happen. He had never seen Kululu get friend jealous over him. Hopefully there wouldn't be a first for that.

If he seduced Mois and looked like he was into her there was also the risk that Angol Mois would fall in love with him too. After all, he was really attractive, a lot more so than Kululu in his opinion. Anyone would be more than pleased to have him trying to get their attention.

He tried to push those worries out of his mind. Those things might blow up in his face, but he had to try. On his own he had just tried the easy stuff like setting them up on a date. And that had gone really poorly.

So he had to rely on cliches. One of them had to work, right?

He knew he had to just be optimistic and hope more.

* * *

Angol Mois was outside near Giroro's tent raking dirt. It wasn't fall but Keroro had told her to rake leaves and she didn't want to try to explain to Keroro how that was dumb.

"M-mois. Oh there you are. H-how are you feeling?" Kululu kept trying to catch her, usually when she was alone. He knew she wasn't alone this time since Giroro was sitting by his fire poking at it and eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

Angol Mois had avoided him since the whole leaving her to die incident. Kululu had been desperately trying to explain himself, because there was no reason for her to be sad and crying but she just wouldn't talk to him.

He had always liked people's anger, but Angol Mois and the silent treatment was perhaps a sort of torture that he didn't enjoy at all. Something about it was incredibly terrible and was working on him a lot. It made him want to scream and make everything better but she just wouldn't listen to him or talk to him.

"Hmph." She just turned around not looking at him. Every other day Kululu would have cheered at the lack of looking at him. But he knew Angol Mois's anger was a rare thing and he had really hurt her.

"Hey! Am I interrupting anything?" Saburo jumped down from a tree having hopped the fence to get into Natsumi's backyard.

Angol Mois jumped a little in surprise. He could have used the front door!

"N-no." Kululu crossed his arms. He was happy Saburo had come to visit him but his words weren't truthful. He really needed to explain himself to Angol Mois and that was a lot easier when other people weren't listening in. "I was just, ku, ku, ku. Checking up on my little butt monkey, Giroro."

"Hey!" Giroro growled angrily. "You are interrupting. Natsumi doesn't want you here right now." He spoke for Natsumi even though it wasn't true.

Saburo laughed a bit. "I actually didn't come to see Natsumi."

"O-oh.." Giroro stuttered. "Well then did you want to hang with Kululu? Then can you leave so you're out of my sight."

"I-I..I am actually in the middle of a conversation with, um...Mois so if you could spend some time with Fuyuki or Natsumi..." Kululu trailed off trying not to be rude to Saburo, flattered that he had come to visit.

"I actually came to visit, Mois." Saburo corrected.

"Me?" That got Angol Mois to speak. She was surprised. "Why?"

"I was in alien street the other day and I heard some Viper boasting about you." Saburo frowned. "Ya know I was just trying to play around and scam aliens...But a lot of the things he was saying were really concerning."

Giroro's head snapped up at the mention of a Viper. He glanced at Angol Mois and at Kululu. Kululu was looking down as if he felt almost guilty about something. Angol Mois looked a bit pained.

"It's all good now. I visited the Viper orphanage and the kids cuddle piled me." Angol Mois explained.

"But I heard you were kidnapped by the guy. Are you okay?" Saburo faked concerned since it was his kidnapping plan that had put Mois in that situation. "When I heard you might have been injured..." He weaved his fingers through his hair. "I was so worried. I don't know why but the thought of you being hurt made my stomach do flips. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

He said exactly the words he had wanted Kululu to feel. Hopefully Kululu would clue in.

He didn't ever see Kululu glare at him, but he did now. "Hey. The Viper is the Keroro Platoon's problem. You stay out of it. Mois's fine now. She's completely uninjured..."

"WAIT A VIPER KIDNAPPED YOU?" Giroro jumped up. "Why didn't you mention anything, Mois?" He glanced at Kululu. "And you knew? Is that why you were asking her how she was feeling?"

"You could say, all over? It's no big deal." Angol Mois waved her hand. "Apparently the Viper never intended to hurt me."

"Never intended to hurt you my ass-" Kululu said under his breathe. Angol Mois glanced at him. "But yeah, umm...She was captured, but I got her out of it-"

"You didn't help at all." Angol Mois finally responded to Kululu. "You left me to die and said you wouldn't care at all if the Viper hurt me and then left." Her voice was very bitter.

Giroro's eyes widened. "Uhhhhhhh...Ummm...Oh my brother's calling...Uhh he's in the tent and I gotta go!" He quickly ran in realizing Angol Mois and Kululu were fighting and it was probably rude and awkward to listen in.

He could still very much hear though. After all it was just a tiny tent.

"I didn't leave you to die, Mois, I called the Viper's bluff and-" Kululu tried to explain.

Unfortunately Saburo was still there and wasn't listening to Kululu very much. He was focusing on how to implement the fact that he was supposedly in love with Angol Mois and make Kululu jealous.

He decided to do such a thing by putting his hands on her's as she held her rake tightly and probably in a lot of anger. His hands and touch were gentle and he moved forward as if to let her fall into him if she wanted a hug.

"I'm just glad you're okay now. Man, I was so worried. It made me truly realize how much I care about you. I mean if the world lost a cutie like you..." Saburo just said some romantic bull crap he made up on the spot.

Angol Mois blushed at the skin contact, but just looked super confused. "The world is going to lose many cuties when I blow it up. I don't understand the big deal?"

"Ku, ku, ku. Good one, Mois." Kululu congratulated.

Angol Mois ignored him.

"Ku..." Kululu seemed a bit sad. So he instead turned his attention to Saburo. "Is...That the only reason you came? To say how worried you were about, Mois?"

 _Uh-oh. Is he disappointed I didn't come to see him?_ Saburo wondered.

"Well ya said it now. If you don't need anything else you can probably go." Kululu shooed his hand away. "I'd love to spend time with you, but..Unfortunately I have another concern that I can't put off."

 _Some work?_ Saburo wondered, not realizing Kululu was talking about apologizing to Angol Mois because the silent treatment was heck for the guy.

"Actually I didn't just come to tell Mois how worried I was. I wanted to spend time with her." Saburo confessed. "That's fine, right, Mois?"  
"Yeah! I'm sure Uncle has some jobs and chores for you to help with too!" Angol Mois smiled.

Saburo frowned. That wasn't what he had meant.

Kululu laughed. "Ku, ku, ku!"

 _This jealousy tactic isn't working at all how I pictured it._ Saburo winced. "Actually I meant doing something, ya know, fun. Getting to know you. Maybe going on a date or something? You know fun things besides doing chores."

Angol Mois tilted her head. "Oh, like a friend date." She realized. She wasn't getting that Saburo was flirting with her.

Saburo wrapped his arm around Angol Mois's waist. Kululu watched.

"You can think of it how you want." He was smooth and twirled her around. He kissed her hand lightly.

Kululu was about to open his mouth and say something, but Angol Mois spoke first.

"Yep. Like a friend date." She replied, since that was what she wanted.

Kululu grinned. _At least I'm not the only one getting rejected by Mois. I mean I have no idea why Saburo's flirting with her, but like...Good luck buddy. That's a road that just isn't going to happen. Ku, ku, ku._ Maybe he'd take Saburo aside later and talk to him about that. Give him fair warning that Angol Mois just wasn't interested. Saburo deserved some warning at least.

He didn't know why Saburo was suddenly interested in Mois. He was smart enough to see that Saburo was directly flirting with her. He did feel a little relieved that Saburo at least wasn't trying to get anything romantic to happen between him and Mois anymore. Had he realized that Angol Mois was cute or something? He didn't know what was up with the sudden change.

"Okay. Fine whatever. I'd prefer to have a real date, but I suppose...I'll just have to win your heart slowly. I'll take you to a boat trip or something tomorrow. Boating is fun." Saburo smiled.

"You could say, not a carnival game? I can't be won by filling my face up with water." Angol Mois giggled, completely ignoring Kululu. She was not getting any of Saburo's flirtatious lines though.

Giroro's head popped out of the tent. Was Saburo flirting with Angol Mois? He smiled. This was great! If he could get her to recuperate and fall in love with him….

Well then one of his main love rivals was out of the way. He was free.

* * *

Kululu knew he should follow Angol Mois into Keroro's room to try to continue talking to her, but she obviously was in no talking mood. So he decided to try to warn Saburo before Saburo got hurt to try not to flirt with Mois.

"I...I um..See you're interested in Angol Mois?" Kululu tried to not sound interested or accusing in his statement.

"Yep." Saburo lied. "What's it to you? You said you didn't like her, right? She's just the girl of your nightmares."

Kululu nodded. "I wanted to warn you before you got hurt. She's not going to be interested in dating you. Her heart's set on the Captain. She's going to either be really dense when you flirt with her or she'll turn you down harshly. Ku, ku, ku. I mean it'll be funny to see but I didn't want you blaming me when you start crying."  
"So she's a heart breaker is what you're saying." Saburo deciphered. Advice was not what he wanted. He wanted Kululu to be jealous.

"Ku. I'm sure if more people were interested in her it would be like planets to her. She'd just crush them like planets. Ku, ku, ku. Wish she were more aware of it so I could at least give her advice on dumping people. We could have so much fun pulling pranks~."

Saburo took a step back. This was all so confusing. So Kululu wanted people to be into Mois?

"Well I'm going to try to woo her anyway. I'm a pretty boy. I'm sure I can win her heart." Saburo grinned and did a hair flip.

"Ku. You're not even going to be hair that long. Hopefully she's just a phase to you for your sake. I mean what are you going to do when you leave for America?" Kululu pointed out. "This can't be a good long term idea."

"She'll visit me. You told me a few times that she can travel super fast because of her angolian abilities, right?" Saburo pointed out.

Now Kululu did look a little jealous that Mois would be able to visit Saburo easily when he couldn't. "Y-yeah. I guess you're right."

"So is it okay if I pursue Angol Mois? I know she is your co-worker and I don't want you to feel awkward or anything." Saburo joked. He wanted Kululu to say no.

"Sure, pursue her all you want. It isn't going to work." Kululu shrugged. "Ku, ku, ku. Just remember I warned you. All she's got in her head is Keroro." He turned around and started walking away.

Still Kululu's mind was a little side-tracked hoping that she wouldn't accept the fact that she was on a date with Saburo when she hadn't with Kululu. He was pretty sure she wouldn't, but still...He didn't really want her to be fine with Saburo but not him.

Their blind date would be more fun than anything Saburo could cook up.

* * *

Since Kululu likely wouldn't be watching their date Saburo saw no reason to keep up the romantic charade. He just needed to gain Angol Mois's trust and become closer to her. Actually become her friend so he could learn more about her.

He wanted her to enjoy their time together so she would talk to Kululu about it though. And it sounded like that was very likely to happen if he didn't push any sort of romance and was only very clear about how this was a friendly date.

 _If I become her friend maybe I can learn more about what sorts of dudes she's into too. What sort of things she finds romantic and all._ It was a good plan.

Saburo checked for Kululu's satellites and all and any sort of Kululu trickery that was there to watch the date. He managed to remove them before he met Mois at the meeting place, the docks by a bunch of boats.

"Hey, Saburo!" Angol Mois smiled. She was in a nice summer dress as she ran over to him. "I'm glad we're going on a trip together today. Being away from Uncle's platoon….I think I really need it."

Saburo frowned. He knew she was talking about Kululu, not the entire platoon. She was still messed up over the Viper. He grabbed at her hand to hold it. "Well today isn't about any past problems. It's just us spending time together and having fun on and tasting the sea breeze. You can tour and play around the ship as much as you want. I got us both tickets on it." Saburo smiled. "I'll mostly be sitting and lounging on a chair, writing."

"Do you like writing?" Angol Mois asked.

"Poetry." Saburo admitted and smiled. The line moved and they entered the fancy boat.

"Were the tickets expensive?" Angol Mois asked.

"Nah, I had an in." Saburo grinned. He had actually gotten the tickets from Kululu a year ago as a gift. Kululu had intended for Saburo to use them with Natsumi to tick off Giroro, but apparently that didn't go as planned.

Angol Mois sighed as they got aboard the boat. The two of them chattered lightly about casual things like the weather and all that. Although Angol Mois was smiling, it was clear she wasn't thinking very much about the boat trip and her mind was still on the kidnapping.

Saburo wanted to apologize, but he couldn't. He just put his hands in his pockets, feeling guilty and looking at her sadly.

"So...Do you like boat trips?" Saburo asked. "Is...It a good date location?" He was mostly asking for Kululu's sake, not his.

"I don't go on many boat trips besides when Momoka invites all of us out. And when I am allowed to just play around I mostly get in fights with Tamama...I don't mean to, I'm just not sure what happens." Angol Mois sighed.

Saburo frowned. Yeah, her relationship with Tamama was difficult.

"I guess it's okay. I prefer museums though. And caves. And places that have fault lines or like volcanoes? Just things with sorts of natural land formations or information about those things." Angol Mois smiled.

 _God. That's nerdy._ No wonder something had been keeping him away from being attracted to Mois before. She wasn't his type at all. "So you like nerdy things." Saburo couldn't help but say.

Angol Mois laughed. She was smiling now. "I guess you could say that. I don't know...Is researching fault lines and going on quests in caves to examine the rock formations nerdy?"

"Yes." Saburo replied quickly. That was very nerdy.

Angol Mois laughed again.

"...Do you like other nerd things? I mean like looking at occult things like Fuyuki does? Or computer-y things like Kululu?" Saburo asked, fishing for more information. Maybe Fuyuki, Angol Mois and Kululu were all just different sort of nerd.

And then Keroro was in the anime nerd category.

Angol Mois shook her head. "I'm not really into the occult. I mean, a lot of the occult stuff that Fuyuki's into has some racist undertones. You could say, don't discredit your own race's accomplishments? And I don't really care about nerding out over this planet and its mysteries. I already have all the answers." She shrugged.

"What about computer and tech-y stuff?" Saburo asked. "Into that? Like...Would a date in a computer store be cool to you?"

Angol Mois's face lit up. "Oh definitely! I mean I love technology! Although angolian technology is different it's so cool to learn about Keronian technology too. Me and Kululu debate the differences frequently. Sometimes we even go to computer stores and I pick up things and challenge him to make me something with the weird pieces..." She trailed off at the mention of Kululu and frowned.

Saburo knew what had happened between them. He just knew that he wasn't supposed to know. He didn't want to open old wounds by asking too. He stood up and leaned by the ship's railing by her side.

"You don't have to...pretend that you aren't sad if you don't want to." Saburo pressed his hand against Angol Mois's cheek as if to catch a tear. "I'm sorry." He was mostly apologizing because her sadness was his fault, but maybe it sounded like he was apologizing on Kululu's behalf.

"I'm not the type to be frightened of my own death or think about it. I destroy so many lives already after all. And after I die, I'll just be reincarnated." Angol Mois's voice was cold. "But I had complete and utter faith and trust in him. Not that he'd help or be successful, but that he'd at least try. That he wouldn't leave me. I thought we were friends."

"You are friends!" Saburo tried to reassure. "Kululu's my friend too. I know how he's like." He knew Kululu probably thought of Saburo more as a friend than Mois, but he tried to reassure her with lies anyway. "He probably just was pretending that he didn't care so he could get something to help you out. He's done that for me." He had seen what had happened so he wasn't too sure this was true, but if a lie helped Mois right now he could give it to her.

She sniffled a bit. "You really think?"

"Y-yeah!" Saburo's voice was shaky. "I mean he was checking up on how you were doing so he can't fully not care, right?" He was wondering if he was reaching for nothing right. "Like you said you two are friends."

Angol Mois smiled a bit. "Y-yeah. I just gotta take what I can get. Some days Kululu's going to be fine with being a jerk to everyone, and some days he's going to check up on me. He did come with the ransom money so that counts for something, I guess..." She was still pretty hurt and mad.

She hugged Saburo. "Thank you, Saburo. You really cheered me up."

Saburo frowned. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing. Perhaps Kululu should have been the one to cheer her up especially since he was just reaching for straws. He knew Mois and him probably both fully didn't believe his words.

But he was glad she felt a little better.

 _Hope she doesn't really fall for me._ He thought worriedly. He was at least becoming her friend. He knew she was starting to trust him and that was good. That was all part of the plan.

* * *

Saburo and Angol Mois started going on friend outings or 'friend dates' for that whole week. And when Saburo went to the Hinata house to pick her up or ask her out to museums he was a lot more flirtatious than he was on the outings.

Everyone was starting to realize that Saburo had a thing for Angol Mois. This ticked off Natsumi by far the most, which was not what Saburo was going for.

He wanted a rise out of Kululu.

 _This is odd. I thought he'd give up by now._ Kululu watched Saburo and Angol Mois chat as Angol Mois giggled and laughed. He was unaware that she was completely fine with this weird flirtation since whenever Kululu wasn't around it just stopped so she didn't give much real thought to it.

 _I wonder...If she's really into it?_ He couldn't figure it out. He knew she did like romantic gestures. Perhaps she had fallen for Saburo's pretty boy charm.

Saburo handed her a bouquet of roses and kissed her knuckles lightly as Angol Mois smiled. "This is all very sweet, Saburo. You're always so sweet."

"I'm only like this for someone as pretty as you." Saburo winked. "You make me sweet." He flirted like he was completely into her.

And for all Kululu could tell, she was into him too. "Gross." He said from the corner, observing them. "Get this PDA out of my face. Ku, ku, ku. It's gross."

Saburo frowned. _He's not acting jealous! He's just acting normal about this whole thing._ Saburo realized. How annoying? Why couldn't he be jealous like a normal person? Why couldn't he fall into the love triangle trap?

Did he just not care that Saburo was stealing Angol Mois away? He just kept eating chips and looking at his computer in the corner, completely ignoring Angol Mois and Saburo's love fest. It wasn't working at all.

Unbeknownst to Saburo, Kululu was just trying to avoid looking because he didn't like seeing it. Something just felt very weird over the fact that Angol Mois might actually be falling for Saburo.

He shoved the jealousy away and didn't do anything with it. He was very used to Angol Mois being interested in other people after all. At least hearing about Saburo every day might not be as annoying as hearing about Keroro.

* * *

He had to be harsher. More prodding. It wasn't like Angol Mois would let him kiss her in front of Kululu, so Saburo just had to start talking about how into Angol Mois he was to Kululu alone.

 _Don't let this backfire._ He hoped. He knew Kululu was willing to do a lot to help him. He just hoped it didn't involve supporting a relationship between him and Angol Mois.

"You've talked to Mois a lot more than I have." Saburo smiled approaching Kululu for advice. "Please, give me some advice on her likes, romantic things she'd be into, what could get her to kiss me, and her favorite music and foods and those sorts of things." Saburo begged. "I want to impress her so I can officially ask her to be my girlfriend."

Kululu spun around in his chair. "Yeah. I know tons about Mois. I know tons about everybody." He leaned his chin on his fingers.

"So you'll help me impress her?" Saburo asked. He was surprised.

"Of course I will." Kululu said. There was some sort of sinister air to his voice. But perhaps that was just Kululu's normal answer for people asking him relationship help.

"Ku, ku, ku. So what did you want to know again, ah yes, her likes...Well her favorite music is actually cheesy parody songs, but only the covers by artists who aren't very good and have gratey voices." Kululu started.

Saburo frowned. That didn't sound very real. _He's...He's giving me false info!_

"Her favorite food is natto with chocolate sauce. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu smiled.

 _He's totally being a jerk. But is it because he's jealous or just cuz he's a jerk like this all the time?_ Saburo wondered.

"She absolutely loves soda like cola and belching competitions." Kululu continued. "Oooh! She also loves gundam models! Talk to her about your gundam models, she'll love that."

Saburo wanted to believe that one was true. He didn't know that Angol Mois had such an intense hatred of gundam. But that must be why Kululu was telling him. He was setting him up to fail.

"Mois once confessed to me that she'd only kiss someone who ate three cloves of garlic. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu continued. He saw Saburo's skeptical look and put his hand up. "I swear it! She's a weird girl. She has a lot of weird interests."

"Like wanting to destroy a planet with whoever she's dating?" Saburo raised an eyebrow.

"Ah...You knew about that one. And that isn't weird." Kululu frowned. "I left out the planetary destruction stuff because you aren't into it. And she's already got me to talk to about fault lines. She doesn't really need to talk to you about it. Ku, ku, ku."

Saburo wanted to grin. So Kululu was expressing some jealousy! He was totally setting him up to fail for personal reasons.

 _You were pretty good at hiding your jealousy before but I guess the fault line stuff is something I can't touch._ It sounded pretty weird to him but he wasn't going to question it. Instead he pretended he believed Kululu's advice.

"Thanks, man. I'll be sure to talk to her about a lot of gundam models." Saburo replied.

"Good...Good. I mean, good luck!" Kululu smiled innocently.

Saburo smiled. Yeah, Kululu was totally jealous. That or a big jerk. He was going to interpret this how he wanted though.

He left after waving to Kululu and saying good-bye.

* * *

Although Kululu had told Saburo some of Mois's least favorite things hoping to sabotage their relationship, he still need to secure the sabotage on Mois's side. She still wasn't talking to him that much but she was slowly ignoring him less and less.

She'd keep talking about how nice Saburo was being in the invasion meetings. Both Tamama and Giroro clapped and told her to keep talking, encouraging her to compliment Saburo.

"She used to talk about me that way, you know. Like I was the best around." Keroro frowned.

"You're still great, Uncle! It's just Saburo's been doing so many nice things. He's taking me to a museum tomorrow." Angol Mois bragged.

"That's too bad." Kululu spoke up. "I kind of needed materials from a mountain and I could have used your skills with your spear-"

"No. Just use a drill or something." Mois refused.

"It has a fault line to look at." Kululu tried to get her interested in it. "I…I thought maybe we could look at it together after work, you know. You could say, job well done?" He tried to use an idiom to get Angol Mois's attention.

She did look at him since those were her idioms. She looked almost convinced since she did really like fault lines. "Wait, are you just saying this to keep me away from Saburo?"

 _Darn. She figured out._ Kululu frowned.

"I guess Kululu's the only one not on team SabuMois. I guess I can understand. It's probably awkward for you." Giroro shrugged. He didn't care about Kululu's feelings though.

"Listen, you've just been spending a lot of time with him….Too much time." Kululu pointed out. "I know he's some pretty pekoponian guy, but man it would be a problem for our invasion if you got seduced too by a pekoponian, just like Giroro did. Ku, ku, ku. Don't fall for him."

Angol Mois frowned. She wasn't into Saburo at all though. "Do you really think I'd fall for anyone who was just a little bit kind to me?"

"...Yeah?" Kululu replied.

"Yeah." Tamama answered.

"Definitely." Keroro answered.

"You don't have a good track record for men that you've liked." Giroro told her.

"Kindness is something to be valued...But Keroro could not have been that kind." Dororo just scowled.

Angol Mois grumbled. Why did they all have such little faith in her? "So you think I'm just going to jump from Uncle to Saburo and run off with him and give up the secrets of the invasion? News flash. There are no invasion secrets to give up!"

There was silence. That was true.

"So what's it to you, who I spend time with and who I don't, Kululu?" Angol Mois frowned.

Kululu frowned. She was right. It shouldn't be anything to him. Yet it was his best friend that she was probably dating. So of course it meant a little bit to him.

Right? That was all it was.

Really there was a worry in the back of his head that he didn't want to say, that the two of them would run off together and he'd have neither of them in his life. He was already losing Saburo to distance, but now oddly enough he was losing his partner to Saburo.

It wasn't a good feeling to have. It made him oddly angry at Saburo even though he knew Saburo had done nothing wrong. _She's my partner. She's talked to me more than she's spoken to you. I don't understand how she could fall for you in like a week._ Kululu just crossed his arms.

"But it's Saburo." Was all he could say. Angol Mois should know the problem. He knew the ins and outs of Saburo's mind. Saburo probably wouldn't even be a good boyfriend. And she should know he felt uncomfortable with her dating his best friend.

"So I can't hang out with him because he's your friend? People can have multiple friends." Angol Mois pointed out.

Kululu was just silent. He didn't have any good answers to stop her.

* * *

The person who was most visibly jealous was Natsumi, not Kululu.

"How can he like her and not me?" Natsumi asked. "What does Angol Mois have that I don't?" She complained to Giroro.

"Absolutely nothing." Although he was happy that Angol Mois and Saburo were getting together because it meant that Natsumi was not with Saburo, he felt sad listening to her complain about Mois and Saburo.

That and he wasn't sure if they really were together. Mois still talked about how she loved Keroro every now and then.

 _I know he has a crush on her...But maybe she doesn't fully love him yet. I need to fix that so they're out of the way._ Giroro realized. Once Natsumi had left he noticed a book on the ground.

He didn't realize Saburo had dropped it. "A wingman's guide to hooking up a pal? I can use this to hook Mois and Saburo up!" He realized.

Giroro was not too smart so when he saw sticky notes that said 'bad plan does not work.' he did not realize that it was 1. a bad plan, 2. someone had used this book before.

He also did not draw the conclusion that all of these ideas were very familiar and that oddly enough Saburo had used them before on Kululu and Angol Mois. He was too dumb to draw conclusions.

"First find the subjects types. What sort of people they're attracted to." Giroro read.

He nodded and approached Angol Mois. "Hey!" He was loud.

"Eek!" Angol Mois covered her ears.

"What's your type? What's your ideal sort of guy?" Giroro asked.

"Uncle." She replied a little confused why Giroro was asking.

Giroro sighed. "So somebody into gundam models?" He could work with that. Saburo liked anime and gundam.

Angol Mois scowled. She scowled a lot. "Actually…."

Giroro ran off before she could answer. He had to find Saburo after all. "Saburo. What's your type? The type of woman you go for?"

Saburo was a little surprised that he was being asked. "Cute people? You know people who are attractive?"

 _Good enough! That's Mois!_ Giroro smiled. He ran off back to the other side of the house where Mois was. It was onto the next plan. Saburo and Angol Mois were already perfect for each other.

The next plan was to set them up on some sort of blind date to judge compatibility. "Hey, Mois...I have a favor I was wondering if I could ask of you."

"Sure." Angol Mois smiled.

"I have this friend. And he's really interested in you and I wanted to know if I could set you up on a date-" Giroro started.

Angol Mois's eyes widened. "Oh no. Not this again. I won't be pranked again." She shook her head.

 _Again?_ Giroro wondered.

"Why are you people all so mean to Kululu to try to set him up on a fake date with me? He and I don't appreciate it." Angol Mois frowned.

Giroro was just very confused. So somebody had asked her to go out with Kululu before? He could understand why she'd be skeptical of this plan if she had to date Kululu.

He didn't ever want anyone to go through that. So he skipped to the next plan which was a play. "Okay..Well instead of that favor could you act in a play I wrote, it's a romance-"

"With Kululu?" Angol Mois frowned. "Not happening again."

Giroro just frowned. Why had this poor girl experienced these things already? "Want to play a truth or dare game?"

"Tamama promised he'd ask sexually explicit questions next time. I'm not risking it." Angol Mois shook her head.

Giroro could understand. He flipped around in his book. Angol Mois barely glanced at it, unsure of why Giroro kept asking her such weird things.

 _Danger, huh? Well, I'm the most dangerous guy around!_ Giroro leaned on a wall. He smiled giving his toothy grin. He had to get Angol Mois to fall head over heels for Saburo. "You've spent too much time around the pekoponians. I have to eliminate you or else risk that you'll become a traitor to us." He threatened in a growl.

Angol Mois raised an eyebrow. "Oh, Giroro...How low you have sunk. I mean, are you of all people really giving me this lecture? Really? When you're the one here in love with a pekoponian?" She asked.

"S-shut up!" Giroro growled, this time actually mad. "I will have to eliminate you unless your boyfriend, Saburo manages to fight me!" He would have pulled out a fake gun but he slipped on the floor instead.

He fell to the ground bonking his head.

Angol Mois just stared at him and shook her head like he was no threat all. She had no idea what was going on.

* * *

There was one sure-proof plan that Giroro knew from experience would work. A love triangle. A love triangle always made people more in love with another person.

He approached Angol Mois when Saburo was talking to her and flirting with her, telling her how pretty she was. Oddly enough Kululu was coming down the hall too.

"Mois! I'm in love with you!" Giroro loudly declared. Heads turned. Saburo just looked so confused.

"Is that my…?" He glanced at Giroro's hands. He face-palmed. So this was what was going on.

Kululu, having arrived in the hallway just stared wondering if he had come in at the wrong moment. Was there any context at all? "What. The. Hell." Was everybody in love with Mois now?

Suddenly Tamama jumped out of nowhere. He was holding a similar book, that he had purchased with Nishizawa money. Apparently he had the same plan as Giroro. "Me too! I'm in love with you too!" He said chipperly.

Kululu's jaw just dropped open. This was...So weird. Was this a nightmare? Some weird dream? He knew he had joked about Giroro and Tamama fighting for Angol Mois's attention once before, but that could never happen?

Saburo glanced at Kululu's shock. "I know this is the wrong time and place, but I also really like you, Mois!" Saburo declared.

Angol Mois looked ulta confused. "Um...Is this some pekoponian holiday I'm missing out on or…?" She looked straight at Kululu, maybe for help, maybe because she honestly didn't know anymore if he'd confess too.

Everybody turned to Kululu as if waiting for him to declare his love for Angol Mois too.

"Ah heck no. I'm outta here!" Kululu ran the heck out of there to drown himself in curry hoping to forget the out of context stuff that he had seen.

As soon as he left, Angol Mois just stood there still confused. Saburo grabbed the book out of Giroro's hands.

"Hey!" Giroro protested.

"Same plan?" Tamama asked.

"Same plan." Giroro nodded.

They looked at Saburo and Angol Mois. At least Saburo had confessed, now they could finally be rid of their rivals. They waited with baited breath for Angol Mois's answer.

"Saburo, I'm sorry, but-" Angol Mois was cut off.

Saburo laughed. "Sorry I just got caught up in the moment. I thought I might as well since everybody else was. After all it confused Kululu a lot!"

"That's...Pretty jerky...I can see why the two of you are friends." Angol Mois realized.

Saburo was laughing.

"But I wanted you to know...I wanted you all to know that we're just friends. I don't have romantic feelings for any of you." Angol Mois replied.

"Dude, I'm gay, woman. Don't think for a moment that you mean anything to me." Tamama said snidely. "If my plan didn't work then I take it back!"

"Yeah...I just wanted Saburo to be jealous. I was trying to get the two of you together." Giroro defended.

"Uhhh…." Saburo just frowned. So all three of them were wingmanning. "It's fine." He waved off Angol Mois's rejection. Guess he couldn't flirt with her anymore.

The plan had failed? He guessed? He wasn't too sure anymore. He needed to have a long talk with Kululu before he knew for sure.

* * *

Before he could reach Kululu, Natsumi approached him. Her face was flushed and she was holding some paper towels crumpling them in her hands.

"I...Uhh..." Natsumi knew she needed to be honest.

 _Uh-oh. I hoped this wouldn't ever happen._ Saburo frowned.

"I know you like Angol Mois and all that, but...I need to tell you, I like you! I've had a crush on you for a while!" Natsumi confessed.

"Natsumi I..." _Knew all the time, but am not interested._ "I'm sorry." He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're a sweet girl but you shouldn't be getting jealous over this. I'm going to America soon and I just don't have time for a girlfriend. That and I don't really think of you in that way and I don't think I could. I'm sorry. You're a good friend though."

Natsumi frowned but nodded. "If you don't have time for a girlfriend why were you flirting with Mois?"

"I was trying to make someone else jealous." Saburo replied honestly.

"The stupid frog?" Natsumi asked. "I don't think it's going to work. He's pretty darn gay."

Saburo didn't reply. He just pat her head and left.

Giroro comforted her all night.

* * *

Saburo made it down to Kululu's lab. Kululu was turned away from him, typing on the computer. He could tell Kululu was at least a tiny bit irritated at him though since he wouldn't spin around to face him.

"So I see you and Mois are officially dating now that you confessed to her." Kululu said, "Ku, ku, ku. Good for you. I honestly didn't expect that. Thought she'd reject you." He couldn't keep the hint of bitterness out of his voice. For some reason he just couldn't be happy for them.

"We're not dating. She rejected me." Saburo replied. "Said she wasn't interested."

Kululu spun around in his chair. "She did!? Thank god- I mean, bummer man. Ku, ku, ku." He looked much more relieved. "Ya need anything? I'm not good at helping someone out who's been rejected. But I did warn you."

Saburo smiled. He was way less mad and irritated at him now that he knew Mois wasn't into him. So he had been jealous. "You do….Know that I wasn't into Mois, right?"

"Oh? So you just wanted to use her or something? Or did you want to hook up briefly? You know I hate to do something right but I'm going to have to put my foot down at that. Mois's my co-worker and I don't think you should use her-" Kululu protested.

"I was trying to make you jealous." Saburo replied.

Kululu blinked. "Um...I...Uhh...S-saburo...I uhh told you I wasn't into you. I mean I could try, but I don't think I want to or could. Y-you're not really my type and umm there's things in the way of it, and I mean I'm real surprised and flattered." Kululu was very awkward not sure what to say.

Saburo rubbed his forehead. Why did Kululu have to misinterpret this and make things awkward? "I wanted you to be jealous of me because you wanted Mois."

"Oh." Kululu breathed a sigh of relief. "Well that's less awkward I suppose. I was wondering how to politely reject you again if you were really that serious." He paused. "Still weird though."

"Dude, you should just tell Mois how you feel. I don't think there's any reason for you to feel jealous if you would just try to actively pursue her. I mean you talk to her more than I do. You have a better chance of her recuperating." Saburo tried to give Kululu advice. It was pretty obvious now that Kululu had some feelings for Angol Mois.

He had been jealous. Or so Saburo hoped, it might have just been him being a jerk. Nah. It was probably jealousy.

"I. Don't. Have. Feelings. For. Mois." Kululu insisted. "And even if I did it has nothing to do with you, so stay out of it. I don't but like...Trying to date her just to get a rise out of me? Pretty not cool. Ku, ku, ku."

"I wasn't trying to get a rise. I just wanted to kick you into actually trying to pursue her." Saburo tried to point out. "You two would be a great couple, Kululu, I really think if you would just try…."

"I don't know if this is news to you, Saburo, but it doesn't take one person being interested to form a relationship. I know you won't believe me when I say I'm disinterested, but trust me that she feels the same way she does towards me as she does to you. We're just friends."

Saburo didn't think he had heard Kululu call Angol Mois his friend before. Kululu must have truly believed that Mois wasn't interested. "But if you showed some interest in her, tried-"

"Why do you want us together? Ku, ku, ku?" Kululu snapped. "This is getting pretty darn annoying. And although I'm patient and understand pranks, Mois sure doesn't. She could get really hurt or at minimum really uncomfortable with you doing all this stuff. So stop it."

"I just think you'd be a cute couple." Saburo tried to explain.

"So you are trying to set us up" Kululu confirmed. At least Saburo was being open about it now.

"Look I'm not going to give up on you two, so just accept my help, you could clearly use it..." Saburo tried to talk to him. "I mean you do like her at least a bit. You were...jealous..." Saburo didn't know if this was true he just stabbed at things.

"I don't need or want your help." Kululu said harshly. "It's my life, and even if I was jealous I'll decide what I'll do about it." Kululu turned around. "So stop meddling."

Saburo frowned. He left the lab.

 _He confirmed he was jealous though. So that means I am getting somewhere._

* * *

 **I think...Originally there was going to be more Gironatsu this chapter? But oops I forgot to plot out the whole chapter and give myself detail to go off of.**


	7. The Fight

**The chapter in which Saburo makes more mistakes.**

 **Geez...These chapters are too long for me. Help.**

* * *

Saburo knew Kululu liked Mois. Or he at least didn't want anyone to date her. It didn't make much sense to him if he didn't want anyone to date her but didn't want to date her himself. Maybe he was over-protective and just trying to be sweet?

Kululu didn't seem like the protective type though. Especially since Saburo knew he had abandoned her in her time of need when she was in trouble.

He was in no way going to give up on his book though or setting them up. He knew there was hope now.

 _I got one..._ Saburo found a section that interested him. It fit well because it would deal with his previous mistake, the fake kidnapping too. He didn't think Angol Mois had still talked to Kululu about that, since she still seemed a little miffed.  
" **Making up.** " He read aloud. " **Making up usually involves** **a whole lot of dramatic confessions, reassuring the other person about how much they care for them, and most importantly kissing. Kissing after a fight is such a rewarding feeling. To make your pals fall in love and experience this you have to get them to fight however. So this chapter is labeled 'the fight'."** Saburo read.

Well, this was easy enough. Kululu and Angol Mois were already fighting. _But I suppose I gotta make it worse now. Make it worse so that it can eventually get better._

He knew this was another one of those morally bad plans. Feed Kululu and Angol Mois information until they were fighting more so that they would dramatically confront each other, yell a lot and eventually realize how much they didn't like fighting and confess how unhappy they were and how much they cared about each other.

Saburo knew it had to be a two-sided fight though. Because Kululu probably was not the type to comfort anyone, he had to also be a little hurt.

 _He knows I'm trying to set them up. But it'll throw a huge wrench into his perception if I say bad things about Mois._ Saburo realized.

He hated to do this, but he knew he needed them to repair things about that Viper too and the whole leaving her to die thing.

* * *

Saburo decided to get Angol Mois out of the way first. That was probably way easier than Kululu. It was kind of easy to make Angol Mois mad over little things, especially since she was already mad.

He was hanging around the Hinata House pretending (or really actually) playing video games when he saw Angol Mois. "Oh Mois! It was absolutely terrible."

"What was?" Angol Mois asked concerned.

"Well I was hanging out with Kululu yesterday...And I know I shouldn't gossip behind my friend's back but he said some bad things about you." Saburo winced. It was a lie and Angol Mois would have to confront Kululu on it eventually and he'd be forced to admit he didn't feel negative about her to reassure her.

"Oh. So it's nothing new then." Angol Mois said in a bored tone. "What did he say this time? That I'm evil and planning to steal his soul? That my toxic cuteness will be the death of him?" She asked.

"Umm...The second one doesn't really sound like an insult." Saburo frowned. She wasn't getting as riled up about the fact that Kululu had said mean things to her as he had thought she would. Perhaps she was just normally patient about the fact Kululu was a jerk.

"It isn't." A wry smile crossed her lips. "But I think Kululu doesn't know that. I'm keeping him in the dark."

Saburo just fell silent for a moment. "He told me mean things about how little he enjoyed your company. How your voice grated on his ears and all that." He tried to come up with some crap, "How you weren't that smart."  
Angol Mois did wince insulted. "That's just normal Kululu stuff. That's expected of him. I don't think...I didn't think he meant any of it though." She was still thinking of the Viper.

"He um...Said you were annoying and obnoxious and that he didn't want to spend time with you?" Saburo tried another line.

"I...I know..." Angol Mois's voice cracked a bit, hurt now in it.

Saburo didn't really want her to be hurt. He wanted her to be be mad. He wondered if it was her own insecurity making her think that Kululu actually believed this or if Kululu had told her she was obnoxious on multiple occasions. He hated to think it was the second but it was probably the second.

Kululu sucked a whole lot. No wonder he didn't have a girlfriend nor a whole lot of friends. Saburo was seeing a side of him he didn't see a whole lot.

"Does he...say that often or…?" Saburo knew she sounded like she was familiar to those words.

"Y-yeah. But I mean I don't get bothered by it, usually. I mean he says that to everybody. I thought he just got easily embarrassed but after the Viper..." She sighed. "There's no reason to get mad at the truth. Thank you for telling me but I can only try to be different than what he thinks I am."

She was too good and pure for Kululu.

Saburo frowned. _But I want you angry! You need to confront him so he'll apologize and you two will make up._ "He also said flip phones were tacky."  
"WHAT?" Now Angol Mois's voice was boiling in anger.

 _Ah. So that was the chord I needed to hit to make her angry._ "I mean I didn't lead with that statement because I thought it was no big deal, but now that I think about it, he dissed your tech a lot. Said that angolian tech was tacky and that his stuff was way better than any cell phone."

"But my cell phone can destroy planets! It has instant connection and high speed data. It's better than anything in the world. Does the planet destroying mean nothing to him?" Angol Mois asked desperate.

"He said planet destroying wasn't that cool." Saburo shrugged. "That it was kind of one-dimensional and kind of boring."

Mois boiled in rage. She tightened her fists. "Ugh! Just ugh! I can't believe it! That Kululu!" He had never seen her this angry.

As expected she stormed off in a big huff, grumbling in anger.

Saburo grinned. _Kululu next._

* * *

Kululu would be much harder. After all, he was the one who had wronged Mois with the Viper. That and Saburo didn't know what about Mois could make Kululu mad.

He didn't show up just to talk about Mois. That would make Kululu suspicious. Instead he invited Kululu to watch him skateboard and hang out first, so that he could slowly bring up Mois.

Kululu watched as Saburo skateboard, wondering if Saburo would ask him another 'favor' concerning Mois. But when he heard nothing for a full hour his suspicion drained.

"So I was talking to Mois the other day..." Saburo trailed off.

"Uh-oh." Kululu grit his teeth.

"And yeah, you're right. You probably aren't good for each other." Saburo lied.

"W-what?" Kululu was surprised Saburo was dropping the subject of him and Mois so quickly.

"I mean she was rather rude. Really rude. She said you were mean-spirited-"

"Ku, ku, ku, well I am!" Kululu boasted.

"Ugly, and a creep." Saburo flipped his skateboard. "That she hated spending time with." He pretended he wasn't looking over at Kululu to gauge his reaction.

This could blow up very poorly if Kululu swore his revenge and decided to destroy Angol Mois for insulting him.

Kululu was just silent. "I...I guess that makes sense. I mean, she's never said any of that to my face, but I kind of suspected something was off when she never said that..." He wondered briefly if she really didn't like spending time with him or if it was because he had said he didn't like spending time with her to get that Viper off her back.

"She also said you weren't very smart." Saburo continued. The tech thing had worked on Angol Mois. Maybe it would work on Kululu? "That your inventions were boring and uncreative. That all angolian tech is better, and that you can't make anything cool."

"WHAT." Kululu jumped up. "How dare she? My tech is amazing! I'll prove her wrong! Ku, ku, ku. Boy, am I going to get my revenge on her for saying that!" Kululu was completely riled up and angry.

 _Wow...They are exactly the same. The same thing set them off. I suppose the other stuff they had some insecurities about so they were hurt….They really are perfect for each other._ Now it was time for Saburo to back off and let them run to each other and confront one another.

* * *

They did not run to each other. Instead Angol Mois avoided Kululu and Kululu hurried to his lab as soon as Saburo dropped him back off at the Hinata House.

"Where you going?" He asked. He saw Angol Mois turn around and leave when she saw any sign of Kululu in the vicinity. He saw that Kululu was heading the opposite direction.

 _No! This isn't how this is supposed to go. They're supposed to compliment the heck out of each other and reassure the other one about their insecurities._ Saburo frowned.

"Revenge." Kululu said quickly. "I have stuff to work on. Don't worry, she won't ever diss my tech again."

Saburo gulped. What the heck was Kululu planning?

 _Does he honestly care about her zero? Wait...He's not going to cause pain to her is he?_ That sounded like a threat.

Did he believe Kululu was a good enough person to not carry it out?

The answer was no.

He just hoped Kululu didn't implement his revenge soon. He asked Keroro personally to keep an eye on Mois's safety just to make sure.

* * *

Kululu worked all night on his revenge, he didn't get any sleep drinking mostly energy drinks to stay awake. In the morning he headed to the invasion room with his revenge.

"Kululu. You look tired. Keroro hasn't requested you make anything yet." Giroro pointed out.

"Ku, ku, ku. I don't need orders to make an invention." Kululu waited for when Angol Mois was paying attention to take the drape off of his invention. "Ta-da! I created a flash-drive that could put in a person's arm and direct data and information directly into them. No more boring lectures. You'll just instantly know the knowledge you search for."  
Everybody looked shocked. "K-kululu...This is a helpful invention. I mean...It could change the world!" Keroro realized. "Keron would use it all the time in schools. We could be the smartest race around. But you're never the type to help people..."

"What's the catch?" Giroro asked suspiciously.  
Kululu grinned. "Isn't it cool? Isn't Keronian tech the greatest? Isn't _my_ stuff the greatest?" Kululu asked.

Kululu's desperate revenge plan was fishing for compliments. He was determined to impress Angol Mois and get her to take back her insult about his inventions. _Ku, ku, ku. You'll be swooning over my inventions when I'm done. Even if I….blegh, have to appeal to your morals and decency._ Kululu wanted to puke and not only because of sleep deprivation.

"Angolian tech is cooler. I mean...It's not that great." Angol Mois pretended to look bored.

"Mois! It's going to change the world!" Keroro was super excited.

Kululu dropped it on the floor and crushed it. _Well, if Mois doesn't like it, it's useless to me._

"AHHHHHHH!" Giroro, Keroro, Dororo and Tamama all screamed at what Kululu had done.

"I'll make something better than. Ku, ku, ku. My tech is way cooler than any of your stuff. And I'll make you accept that. It is on." His glasses sparked with a ferocity.

Angol Mois glared at him. "You'll never make me believe it. My cell phone is way cooler. It destroys planets."

"Oh, excuse me that not everybody can destroy a planet, Mois!" Kululu waved his hands, "We can't all be perfect, amazing beings." He grinned a bit, "At least you have the same faults as us, unable to complete your mission too and stuck here. Ku, ku, ku."

Angol Mois frowned. She crossed her arms and turned to Keroro. "The invasion meeting, Uncle? I no longer want to talk to Kululu."

Keroro was still crying over the flash drive. "No...Unlimited knowledge….I could have directly downloaded anime into my brain...It would have been amazing."

Kululu wanted to tell him he was an idiot, but he was too focused on Angol Mois. He wanted her to be impressed with his inventions. He really did.

Why couldn't she just compliment him and say he did a good job?

* * *

Their fight didn't get any better after that. Although Kululu's anger at first displayed as him desperately trying to impress Angol Mois through inventions, Angol Mois's didn't display nearly as harmlessly.

She usually gave him the silent treatment, pretending to ignore him, talking to Dororo over him, and her favorite 'pretending he didn't even exist', because she was so hurt.

When they were forced to interact during invasion meetings they almost always blew up at each other though.

"Come on, stop being so stubborn and admit I'm right. Why do you always have to be so annoying?" Kululu asked. "You don't have the moral high ground here, you're not better than me in anyway. Even though you think you are."

Angol Mois just glared. "I am not annoying! I am putting my foot down for the first, and hopefully last time. You can't keep treating me like this. I do have the moral high ground. You're the one who's always treating me wrong. I don't even get paid yet I put up with you and work with you." Angol Mois huffed.

"Ku, ku, ku. Yeah and you aren't going to stop because you want to impress your beloved 'Uncle'." Kululu teased her. "So pure, so virtuous. You don't do work to actually help. You do it for your own selfish benefit-"

Angol Mois frowned. She wanted to yell some more at Kululu but yelling never worked. He just always deflected anger and threw it back at the person. "Fine. I get it. I get your point." She turned to Keroro. "I can not work with Kululu any longer. I do not want to be part of the tech team."

Keroro's eyes widened. "B-but..But! Free labor and work!"

Kululu's eyes widened his glasses cracking. _S-so...She really hates me that much.._ He put on a new pair of glasses, falling silent for a moment.

 _First Saburo leaving for America and now I learn that Mois's secretly hated me all this time._ "Do what you want." Kululu shrugged. "I don't care."

"I know you don't. After all you don't care if I get hurt. As long as it doesn't hurt your job." Angol Mois hissed.

Kululu winced remembering the Viper. He didn't know what to say, especially in front of the whole platoon. He wasn't one for apologies. And he doubted she'd take it too after all the other bad stuff she felt for him.

So he just watched as Keroro pleaded with her to reconsider things.

* * *

Angol Mois stopped blowing up at him. Instead she continued the silent treatment and ignoring him, which was Kululu's least favorite type of punishment.

When people were mad at him he was problematic. Their negative attention was still attention and he liked it. There was probably some psychological thing behind it that he didn't want to over-analyze but the silent treatment and Mois giving him no attention hurt him so much.

So he started doing the wrong things. _If she already hates me, might as well get her to hate me more. After all talking is at least something. Paying attention to me even in a bad sense is better than….than this._ He decided.

He was a jerk till the end. So he'd pick on Mois however much he wanted until she paid attention to him.

He started with casual jerk pranks. Stealing all her socks, shrinking down her clothes in the Hinata laundry, putting something in her food to make it grow tentacles, all sorts of terrible things.

Each one got a scream out of Angol Mois and her eventually hitting the wall or going outside to hit the ground with her lucifer spear.

Kululu would be lounging on the couch eating some none tainted food and smiling when she came back. "Oh? Mois~, Did something go wrong?" He would ask in that jerk voice, knowing that they both knew who had done the evil deeds.

Angol Mois frowned at him. She just shook her head and didn't reply to him. She knew how Kululu worked. If he was trying to get this much of a rise out of her and was devoting more attention to being a jerk to her than Giroro out of all people he must be pretty mad that she had chosen to do the silent treatment.

She'd continue it then. _I'm pretty hurt after all. And perhaps the technology stuff I could forgive if...If he hadn't been so mean. I mean he doesn't care about my life or well being at all when I valued our friendship so highly._ She just walked away.

He didn't deserve a response.

Kululu just frowned.

* * *

Saburo waited for Kululu and Angol Mois to have their dramatic make up scene, but nothing happened. Every time he stopped by the Hinata house they were fighting or not talking to each other.

Their was a rift growing in their relationship more and more. Saburo wondered if it was his fault.

Had this plan blew up in his face? And if there was no make up could there ever be love? No. Because they weren't even friends anymore. They just didn't like each other.

 _Crap. Crap. Should have known that Kululu would have taken his revenge out on Mois. Should have known he'd be a jerk to her if he was mad._ Kululu was a bad person. Saburo winced at how bad his friend was.

Should he apologize to both of them on the other's behalf? But that wouldn't be genuine. And they might start fighting again.

He'd suggest to Keroro to try to get them to make up. Keroro could push them into having a genuine make up scene after all.

* * *

Keroro of course, knew there was only one person at fault for Kululu and Mois's fight. It was Kululu. Angol Mois was an innocent person and would never do anything wrong.

Keroro also knew that Kululu and Mois needed to make up. The invasion was really faltering without them working together.

"Even I agree that they work better as a team then two people who start bickering every time they enter the same room as each other." Giroro frowned. "I don't know what happened, but it's like they're going through some really...really messy break up."

"It's probably over something petty." Tamama shrugged. "That woman is petty. Maybe Kululu insulted her phone? That's the only time I've ever made her mad." He didn't see their fight as a big deal.

"Without Mois on the tech team, Kululu's been getting swamped. He's needed up to help him with things and...It's not great being alone with Kululu." Dororo complained. "Not only that but two friends fighting is very sad. We need to fix this."

Keroro agreed. "Y-yeah! We need Mois and Kululu to get along! For the invasion's sake!" He pumped his fist in the air.

They all circled Kululu when Kululu entered the room.

"Whaddya want?" Kululu demanded. He had a saw in his hand and was chopping some of the legs off the tallest chair- Mois's, so she'd be super short. It was his latest jerky prank and plea for attention.

"You need to apologize to Mois." Keroro ordered. "I know you did wrong and something horrible, but you need to apologize to her."

"Ku, ku, ku! Why am I always blamed for everything?" Kululu asked.

"Maybe because you have a saw in your hand, right now?" Giroro asked not feeling sympathy for him.

"Tch." Kululu frowned. "Well, surprise, surprise, I'm not at fault for our fight….Mostly. Okay so I did kind of abandon her when a Viper was attacking, but I was going to talk to her about that...Well, she's the one who's been ignoring me!" Kululu huffed, childishly. "Not my fault!"

"Kululu...You're acting like a child." Giroro sighed. Usually Kululu took pride in his actions at antagonizing someone, but now he was shifting the blame to Angol Mois.

Maybe it was a two-sided fight. Kululu seemed relatively hurt. Or more likely Kululu was not getting the reaction he had expected from fighting with Mois and desired a much more angry reaction instead of the silent treatment.

"Kululu...It doesn't matter who was in the wrong or not. It matters who takes the first step to apologizing." Dororo advised.

"And you think I'm the type to make up and apologize? What do you think I am, nice? No, she's going to have to apologize to me first! Ku, ku, ku. She said some pretty awful things. You'd be surprised that those sorts of things even came from Mois's mouth. She's not as nice as she pretends to be." He was pretty insulted.

"Do you want her to be off of the tech team forever?" Giroro asked. "Because you're drowning in work without her."

"And so am I!" Keroro begged. "Please make up with Mois for both our sakes. She needs to be doing work. And she's never once refused work before."  
"Ku. I can handle the tech team on my own." Kululu tried to say. "I don't care about Mois. I don't need her to help me."

The platoon tried to desperately plead with him, but Kululu would not listen.

* * *

After learning that negotiating had fallen short, Saburo tried to take matters into his own hands.

"You know...You probably should apologize..." Saburo tried to trail off.

"About what?" Kululu demanded. "Ku, ku, ku? All the jerky pranks? I'm a jerk till the end. This is expected of me. And you know better than anyone I'm not at fault."

"Well, I mean...It was just technology…." Saburo tried to trail off, "And she probably said it because she's still hurt over that supposed kidnapping thing. Which you...umm haven't apologized for yet, right?"

"Just technology? Just technology! She said my inventions were uncreative! And no matter how many boxes of inventions I keep putting in front of her door with letters saying how amazing my stuff is she won't compliment them and sends them back in broken pieces. Ku, ku, ku!" Kululu grit his teeth.

 _Oops. She probably thinks you're insulting her since I said you insulted her tech too._ Saburo was sweating. He didn't pick up on the fact that Kululu's revenge was trying to impress that

"And besides that it's about more than the technology now. She said I was an ugly, dumb, creep that she hated spending time with, right? Why should I apologize for that? Ku! She was the one who insulted me." Kululu pointed out.

Saburo bit his lip. Kululu sure did believe his lie. Kululu sure did trust him.

"I'm just saying...Maybe you should confront her? Tell her that you won't stand for those insults. Stand up for yourself!" Saburo suggested. "And maybe clear up the Viper thing. So there's no guilt and you're in the complete moral right."

Kululu listened and thought for a moment. He shouldn't discredit Saburo's advice. "Fine. The standing up for myself is a good idea. I don't think she'll listen or talk, but...I won't stand for being insulted. Ku!"

 _At least they'll get talking. I just...Gotta watch from afar and make sure he actually brings up that kidnapping. Maybe Mois's anger will lessen thanks to it and in turn Kululu's will to._ Saburo thought.

He waited until Kululu left.

* * *

Kululu approached Angol Mois outside in the backyard. She was not paying attention to him and was instead hanging up laundry.

Since all of her clothes had 'mysteriously been shrunken' she had to borrow Natsumi's.

"Listen, you're being a real jerk about this. I've never said nearly anything as bad to you as you said to me." Kululu hissed. "It's not like I say you're ugly or anything like that. I'm sure it wouldn't effect you and you'd just ignore me though. Just cuz you're ignoring me doesn't mean you have the moral high ground!"

"I have a lot higher ground than you. I'm taller." Angol Mois pointed out. "And true, you didn't say anything like that but you've said a lot worse."

"I don't care about your stupid height! And you never were effected by what I said. And at least I was up-front about my feelings instead of hiding them and talking behind someone's back. God, Mois, you're just so awful and dumb."

"I may be awful and dumb but at least I'm not so terrible as to leave someone to die when they've been kidnapped." Angol Mois hissed. Apparently she was still mad about that. "You were not the person I thought you were. I can't believe I trusted you."

"You never trusted me or liked me. You just put up with me." Kululu just yelled back.

Giroro covered his ears from inside his tent. They were fighting again. He couldn't really fix their problems.

"Well I sure as heck can't put up with you now. You could say, you're dead to me?" Angol Mois frowned. She was talking to him now, sure but all her words were so cruel.

Kululu took a step back. _I knew it. She confirmed things. Well, I won't stand for it. I'll stick up for myself just like Saburo advised._

"I hate you." He said with a hiss. That ought to get a rise out of her. She'd be angry and just start yelling or something.

Instead she recoiled. Perhaps she hadn't expected the ferocity in his line. Perhaps she was just getting tired of all the yelling, but she opened her mouth to try to speak more but instead tears streamed down her face. She sniffled and started crying.

"M-mois-!?" _Crap this doesn't make me feel better. I...I didn't expect her to start crying._ She hadn't acted like she was hurt during their fighting, just like she was really mad. He walked closer and she crouched on the ground trying to hide her face as she just cried.

She was a lot more emotional than Kululu, and it was easy to wear her down.

 _Maybe I was at fault for our fight….I mean should I really have been that defensive about my technology, my one skill? And I always knew I was ugly and a creep and she hated spending time with me...So I shouldn't have been so confrontational ._ "Mois...Mois…? Shh...Shhh..Umm...I'm sorry." He didn't want her to cry. He hated seeing her cry.

"I knew you hated me. I mean I knew it the moment you left me to die. I just...I didn't expect it to hurt when you said it." She sniffled.

Kululu moved a little bit closer. She wouldn't pry her hands off her face as if to cover her eyes, but he tried to reach up anyway to touch her or offer some amount of comfort.

He didn't really know what to do in this situation. He was the one at fault after all and he knew she probably didn't want him to touch her. "I don't hate you...I don't hate you. I was lying. And I wasn't leaving you to die."

"Yes you were. You said you wouldn't care if any harm came to me." Angol Mois snapped.

"I was trying to talk to you about that after you were released. I'm not...Not strong like Giroro...I'm not charismatic like Keroro...I couldn't save you like they could have.." Kululu's voice was low, a little insecure. "However I could use my intellect. And after analyzing the situation I realized he only wanted to hurt you because of your connection to me. So I pretended that it wouldn't be a big deal. B-because at that time your safety was my main concern, not...Not your feelings. You just never let me explain."  
Angol Mois looked down at him, shocked. "So..You would care if I got hurt?"

"Of course I'd care!" Kululu's voice raised. "You're my tech partner! And...I'm sorry for getting...Over emotional about you not liking my technology. I shouldn't have acted so immaturely. You've got different sorts of views on technology since you're connected to your phone and all. I...I shouldn't have been over-dramatic." He just wanted her to stop crying.

"Me not liking your technology?" Angol Mois looked confused. "But Kululu I love your technology. I think you're inventions are super cool!"

"Ku, sure. You don't have to lie about your thoughts about me. How I'm creepy, ugly and you don't want to hang around me? How you said I was dumb?" Kululu reminded. "I...I no longer care or am mad about it. Just please stop crying. Those tears sparkle. It really hurts."

"But…I didn't say any of those things, Kululu..." Angol Mois was super confused. "You're the one who said I was obnoxious and annoying, and that you didn't like angolian technology and flip phones."

Kululu frowned. "Mois! You destroy planets. How could I not like angolian technology and your lucifer spear? I'm its biggest fan. I'm a big nerd for that sort of stuff." Kululu pointed out.

Where had she gotten that false information? Was that why she was mad.

Angol Mois scooped him up in her arms and hugged him. Kululu was surprised by the contact but since she was still sniffling he hugged back. He stroked her hair with his fingers.

Nobody was really watching or so he hoped. "I don't really think you're annoying, you know. Don't cry over that. And I definitely don't hate you."  
"You've been being so mean to me though! Pulling so many jerky pranks and saying such mean stuff!" Angol Mois pointed out.

"Uhhh..." Kululu didn't really have a defense. "I was mad about the stuff you...thought about me." Which might have been wrong or she was lying about it.

"I don't not like spending time with you. I enjoyed the tech team with you and being your friend." She reassured. Kululu probably needed just as much reassurance as her. "And you're not dumb, you're the smartest person I know."

"And…?"

"You're creepy, sometimes. But I like you anyway. And you aren't ugly. I like the way you look." Angol Mois reassured.

So Kululu was insecure just like her. She hugged him tighter, and felt Kululu hugging her back. He reached a hand to her cheek to stroke it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeated in a quiet voice. "I...I never said any of those things, but I shouldn't have...Been so mean to you."

"You shouldn't have pulled so many mean jerk pranks." Angol Mois scolded. "Why'd you do that? Trying to make me feel as bad as you were feeling?" She tilted her head to the side. She honestly didn't know the reason why.

"Attention. I'm problematic." Kululu admitted.

"Awww…." She pat his head and nuzzled the top of his head. It made him really happy to have her giving him positive attention again and not mad at him, but he also just liked her touching him.

"I just don't understand…? Why would Saburo give me false information about what you said?" Angol Mois asked.

 _Saburo...Wait he's the one who told me the stuff about Angol Mois too!_ Why would Saburo want them to fight?

Unless….He did admit that the feeling of holding her wasn't a privilege that he usually gave himself. It was nice. Really nice.

 _I read somewhere that making up has therapeutic effects and strengths bonds… Was he going after that?_ It also made people more comfortable with one another usually.

"I missed you. I can't wait to get back to the tech team with you." Angol Mois told him.

Kululu was focused on something else. _He lied! He hasn't given up on setting us up. And this time...Because of his actions he got Angol Mois to cry!_

He would excuse a lot of things that Saburo did, but this one was not something he'd excuse. Angol Mois tears were inexcusable.

He had to stop this. Saburo could no longer continue trying to set them up. It was hurting Mois way too much.

He tightened her grip on her.

"K-kululu?" Angol Mois asked.

"I know why we both were really mad each other and were fed false information. Ku." Kululu looked angry.

"Why?" Angol Mois asked.

"Saburo wanted us to get in a fight. He then wanted us to make up dramatically and probably sappily. Maybe he wanted us to start kissing after yelling at each other cuz we couldn't be without each other or some crap like that? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu frowned.

"K-kissing…?!" Angol Mois got incredibly embarrassed and dropped Kululu.

"Ow." Kululu groaned. He didn't mind Angol Mois blushing. He just wished she wouldn't be so painful about dropping him.

"W-why?" Angol Mois was still blushing.

"He wants to set us up for some reason. But I won't let that happen. This time he's gone too far." Kululu growled. "Ku, ku, ku. Just thought I'd inform you of his plan."

Angol Mois blushed, but now things made a lot of sense why Saburo was acting so weird around her and all. "He...Should not have fed me false information….Hurting our relationship. Messing with it is cruel." She was now very angry.

They both were. And Kululu knew he would not let this happen again. He would not fall for whatever was Saburo's next trap.

 _I won't let him make you uncomfortable with this dumb thing._ Kululu promised Mois mentally.

Saburo watched a ways away. It had been tough but at the end they had finally made up. There had been no kissing involved but they sure had embraced more than he ever had seen them before. Even Giroro, who was now eating noodles as he just awkwardly watched them talked and caress each other's faces was beginning to feel awkward by the amount of embracing.

It had worked in the end. They had made up. They both looked super mad at him, but things were working.

He was the best wingman around. Kululu might not want his help but he was going to give it anyway.

* * *

 **Please review, sorry this chapter was a problem shoujo manga cliches usually are. But if you have any shoujo manga cliches to suggest I'd be open to listening. If I can't work them in this story I might be able to use them in a one-shot. I mean I don't dislike shoujo, I actually love it, despite it's problematic elements.**


	8. The Makeover (TM)

**I'll never be able to write something that isn't taking advantage of that T rating.**

 **Also I was weak, save me.**

* * *

"Stop this." Kululu demanded, crossing his arms. "I know what you're doing now. I get it, all sorts of idiots for some reason take the whole 'kiss and make up' scenario way too seriously. But getting me and Mois to fight for this deranged idea that we'd be a good couple?" Kululu looked venomous. "No."

Kululu was calling Saburo out. He had taken care that Angol Mois was not nearby when this argument was happening, made her some curry, talked to her, made sure things were all right, and then tried to fix numerous chairs, clothing outfits and other things he had broken in his pathetic and problematic pleas for attention.

Now that Angol Mois was off to bed at a normal time like 2 PM, he was able to talk to Saburo.

"Listen, I didn't think you two would take fighting so seriously. I thought you'd run to each other and compliment the heck out of each other. I'm just doing this to help you out, Kululu...You gotta believe I mean, no harm." Saburo looked at him pleadingly. "I really didn't mean to make her cry."

He hoped Kululu believed him. Kululu was his friend. And it wasn't like he had given up setting them up, it was just the more he pushed the more Kululu pushed back. Why did he have to be so stubborn.

 _It can't be that he just doesn't want to date her. He might just not think my ideas on getting them together are any good. After all, they've mostly been at his expense._ Saburo winced. Angol Mois wasn't feeling anything extra positive for Kululu after all.

 _Hey! Not my fault though. I was trying to get her to like you more by have you save her, and you completely ditched her._ Saburo remembered.

"Saburo..." Kululu sighed. "You're a good friend of mine. And I know oddly enough you have a good heart and good intentions sometimes. You'll manipulate people and not tell them the whole story if you believe those intentions are truthfully good and usually I don't put my foot down about that, but...It's a problem. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu crossed his arms. "If you ever make Mois cry again I'm going to be incredibly..."

"Mad, disappointed?" Saburo suggested.

"A mixture of a lot of emotions. I would hope you would be since she's a planet destroyer. You're really playing with the devil by making the planet destroyer unhappy." Kululu tried to frighten Saburo.

Saburo laughed. "If that was the case, why was it that you purposefully tried to be even more of a jerk when she was ignoring you? Wasn't that just bound to blow up in your face?"

Kululu was silent for a moment. Really at that point he would have been happy for any sort of reaction- including planetary destruction.

"Just...Stop. I don't care if you think I want to date Mois now or if you think we're a good couple. I don't care about any of that. Just...Can't you realize that she's incredibly uncomfortable? I can't allow this to go on." Kululu pointed out.

Saburo laughed at an inappropriate moment. "I thought you were all about making people uncomfortable."

"...She cried. She cried sparkly tears, Saburo." Kululu wasn't speaking right.

Saburo didn't really understand. He had seen her tears. They were just tears. Water droplets and all that. There was nothing sparkly about them. Did Kululu think that her pores had glitter in them or something?

"I...I am. Usually. Ku, ku, ku. I'm a jerk till the end. But I don't want to get any more fake fights with Mois. For once I did nothing wrong, so I feel kinda ticked off that I was blamed. So how about you listen to me, take a clue and stay the heck out of Mois's and mine relationship? Our problems, our ours to deal with." Kululu frowned.

Saburo frowned. _Guess Kululu won't do any more favors for me in regards to Mois then._ He gave a small nod. Kululu did seem distressed.

"I...I got it. I won't try to talk to you about it any longer. You're right. And it's mostly been at your expense which wasn't my plan at all..." Saburo confessed.

Kululu eased up. "Good that you understand. Ku."

 _Doesn't mean I'm giving up though!_ Saburo didn't give up. Kululu was right that once he thought he was doing something for the greater good, he would stick with it.

He just had to use the more harmless plans in his wingman book. And he mostly had to use them to manipulate Angol Mois. She was always willing to help someone and her feelings towards Kululu weren't changing to anything more positive.

He needed to change this.

Kululu watched Saburo for a moment before Saburo changed the subject so that Kululu wouldn't suspect that he hadn't let the subject drop.

"So I played this really cool video game the other day..."

Kululu listened intently hoping that Saburo truly had dropped the subject.

 _He might think that Mois and me would be perfect for each other, but that doesn't make it true. That and…_ He worried the more Saburo pushed Angol Mois on this subject the more she would associate him with the problem. He couldn't afford to lose her as a co-worker and work associate.

He had already lost her once from that fight. It had been tough. It had been tough to just not hang around her and have her attention.

 _Mois doesn't like me. Anything Saburo does won't change that. So I don't understand why he's foolish enough to think he's helping by trying to get her interested? Doesn't he know how lovesick she is for the captain?_ Saburo was a fool.

Kululu forgot to mentally add to the problem that he didn't like Mois too. It had sort of slipped his mind.

* * *

Saburo knew he didn't want to make Kululu mad or anyone to be hurt in his next plan. So he skipped around in his book to find something harmless.

"Ah...The chapter on literally the most cliché shoujo manga cliches." Saburo sighed. "I prefer shonen myself, so I haven't read much shoujo..." Keroro and him had discussed it before, how boring shoujo was.

He had said the reason it was boring was all the romances and the unrealistic scenarios. Why couldn't the two people just be honest and confess to each other instead of pointless miscommunication devices to keep their boring rom-com going?

Keroro had laughed. "I don't have a problem with rom-com's. I sure do like watching Giroro fail at romance after all. It's just...I don't know the romances in shoujos seem boring like there's too many...what's the word...It's like an edge...A line."

"Straights?" Saburo had suggested.

"UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO!" Keroro had said frantically, "I just...the girl characters are kind of boring. Nothing like the main leads in the gundam manga. Really they guys work together better they should be together instead."

"That's what yaois are for. They're like the rom-com shoujos without the girls." Saburo pointed out.

Keroro said the word like it was foreign. "Y-yaoi's?" He decided to look it up later. Whatever these were they sounded interesting.

Saburo recalled that conversation well. But it had nothing to do with now. He knew he had to keep himself focused on the bad shoujo cliches in the real world. After all they might be a lot more harmless or less dramatic than fake kidnapping and fights. " **The makeover (TM). To wingman your pal up with someone you think they'd like, it can help to give the person a makeover to make them irresistible and super cute to the other person. They won't be able to stop being blushy and frantic around them or keep their eyes off of them. This technique is sure to make one party interested and the other party realize the one party is interested."**

Saburo grinned. It sounded so harmless. Kululu was sure not to be mad at this one. After all it might make Angol Mois happy too. She loved make overs. He and her had painted their nails together before on one of their outings. She was just a chattery and overly enthusiastic person.

And although he knew now that she knew of his plans for her and Kululu, she would see no reason to refuse this plan because it was harmless.

Fool-proof.

* * *

"I'm still super mad." Angol Mois crossed her arms. "It was mean to use my overly trusting nature to make me think that Kululu hated so many things about me." She saw Saburo and glared at him with distaste.

"Sorry! Kululu's talked to me about the issue. And although I had good intentions, I didn't think you guys would take it so seriously. After all you only got seriously mad when I insulted your technology." Saburo tried to laugh it off.

"That's super serious!" Angol Mois grumbled. "But Kululu has reassured me over and over again that flip phones are cool. You could say, there was harm so foul?"

Saburo just blinked. He couldn't believe how petty they were that they were mostly mad about those issues and the insult on the technology verses the multiple insecurities that he had dug up. "I'm really sorry." He sighed again. "I really honestly believed at the time that you would just kiss and make up immediately."

"Me and Kululu aren't going to kiss." Angol Mois glared. "And we wouldn't have our first kiss over fighting. That's dumb. What kind of person do you think I am? I get seduced by romance, not anger and hatred."

Saburo winced. She was right. "I'm...I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you? I was thinking maybe I could get you a present to make it up to you. Take you on a shopping trip or something. You like nail art with your friends, right?" Saburo suggested trying to get on Angol Mois's good side.

She crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to get you some cute outfits and all that. Nothing to do with Kululu, really." Saburo lied. _Everything to do with Kululu._ "We could just do some fun salon stuff, do our hair, make up, stuff like that."

Angol Mois looked skeptical.

"Oh come on. Everybody knows that out of the humans I by far have the best hair. I can give you all sorts of hair care tips." Saburo offered. "I mean look at how beautiful my hair is. So pretty boy." He did a hair flip.

Angol Mois just narrowed her eyes. "I…I am running low on nice clothes, thanks to someone ruining all mine. I had an arm growing out of one of my shirts, you know. An arm! Fuyuki just pat me on the back and said 'he did that to me too.'"

Saburo smiled. "See! And I've got all sorts of fashion tips. I am pretty fashionable." He pat her on the back. "And you can model afterwards if you want. I'm sure you'll look quite pretty in anything you dress up in."

Angol Mois narrowed her eyes again suspicious. "I knew there was a reason you were Kululu's friend. You both like girls modeling for you so you can take weird pictures, huh?"

Saburo frowned. Did Kululu do that with her? "I won't take pictures." He promised. "I was thinking afterwards we could show off my handiwork to the platoon….Like Keroro?"

This got Angol Mois to lighten up. "Do you think he'll think I'm pretty?"  
 _I'm sure Kululu will, who will be there._ Saburo smiled. "Oh yeah. I think he'll be quite taken to you."

There was a little bit of worry that Kululu would be fine. After all hadn't Angol Mois just said she modeled for Kululu for some sort of pervy or weird desire? "Um...About Kululu getting girls to model for him..." Saburo wondered if he should even ask.

He knew his friend was all sorts of creepy and problematic. Heck, he knew Kululu hadn't even gotten just girls to model for him. He had taken pictures of Saburo too and sold them, (although Saburo was completely fine with that). Was it something like that with Mois too? But that seemed a little more exploitative than Saburo since she didn't know what she was getting into.

 _I know he used to do that….He did offer to sell something to me once like that. Although it was blank. I didn't know he had gotten her to willingly model for him._

"Oh yeah. Sometimes he asks Natsumi to model for him for blackmail in exchange for helping her." Angol Mois replied perkily. "Or he needs me to model something for an invasion plan. You know, average stuff like that."

"How does you wearing pretty outfits have anything to do with the invasion plan?" Saburo asked.

"Well sometimes he puts the pictures of me on soda cans and we use them as a product." Angol Mois used an example. "It's mostly used to sell things. You could say, helps sell the merchandise?"

Saburo winced. He supposed that made sense in a way… "Well...I mean I knew Kululu cared a lot more about money than about like, checking people out."

"Oh no. Don't worry he's a complete pervert too!" Angol Mois said perkily like it wasn't a bad thing.

Saburo didn't think he wanted to here this.

"He tries to get me into things all the time that I'm like "hmmm...Ya know Kululu I think that's showing a little too much skin. Not very appropriate for work to sell pictures of that." But then he says that it wouldn't really be for work, it would go to his 'personal picture collection of me' whatever that is." Angol Mois shrugged.

"….Does he do that with everyone?" Saburo asked.

Angol Mois shrugged. "I don't think so. Just a hunch but I feel like if he asked anyone else they'd probably beat him up. That and I know there's a folder of pictures he hasn't sold of me somewhere on his computer. I don't have a problem with it, they're nice shots, and it's fun to dress up for Kululu. That and when he's hiding behind a camera lens it's the only time he'll look at me..." Angol Mois trailed off.

"So...Is he just a pervert or like is it because you're modeling?" Saburo asked.

Angol Mois shrugged. All she knew was that he did that. "He doesn't push if I say no and I'm pretty willing unless the costumes get too outlandish. I haven't done anything bad. I just have fun modeling with Kululu so I've felt no reason to question in. I'd like to think he just asks for other outfits that are in his own picture collection because we're friends."  
"Uhhh...I don't think that's how friendship works." Saburo frowned.

"Friends always have pictures of each other on their phones and things! I don't mind if his pictures of me are all in like...maid outfits or things like that. I'm just happy that he had pictures of me." Angol Mois smiled.

 _So then he's used to her modeling and being in that makeover mode...Will this plan even work?_ Saburo wondered. "So he's seen you in most every outfit? And he's just kind of professional with his reactions?"

"Well...I've never modeled in my angolian form..." Angol Mois admitted. "I don't think he has anything in my size and he's never asked because I guess possible inconvenience? That and I only want to dress up that form for fun! You know, because I feel confident enough and happy enough to wear something fun in that form!" She chattered.

 _Bing-o. So I can dress her up in that form._ "Why, then I just got a great idea!" Saburo smiled. "Why don't we dress you up in that form and give you a little make-over! I'm sure the entire platoon would be surprised and would hardly recognize because you barely use that one. They'd all be swooning." He used her love for Keroro to get her to agree.

"Of course they wouldn't recognize me...Did you know once I asked Uncle what he thought my natural hair color was and he said blonde? Blonde of all things..." She shook her head. "But I guess you're right. I mean I've never been fashionable enough on my own to know what fits well with my skin tone and me, but I'm sure since you're the resident pretty boy, you know, Saburo."

Saburo grinned. He did know! "I'll make you look fabulous, Mois." He promised.

* * *

Angol Mois was at Saburo's house- which Saburo had to clean up before Angol Mois visited, the entire day. Saburo was giving her all sorts of beauty tips and by the end of the day she was completely made over.

Man did Saburo love make up a ton more than Angol Mois.

 _Make up is the best._ He looked the artistic craftsmanship of doing eyeliner on someone, painting someone's lips, giving them a tiny bit of blush. He looked the pretty eye shadow he had given Mois.

Although Angol Mois had wanted to have complicated designs on her outfit like any other angolian wear, Saburo had insisted she should stick to simpler stuff and colors since he wanted to draw Kululu's attention to her, and not just the clothes.

He made sure it didn't have shoulders like her previous outfit, but instead of a collar and gaudy hand guards to distract from her body it was just very sleek. He made sure the skirt that he got her was a little more elegant, half of it very long to cover up one leg with a slit in the middle to sort of cause a wave and make it shorter.

"Do you think Uncle will like this?" Angol Mois asked. Saburo had pinned up her hair in a little bit of a bun to be different, using a golden comb as a hairpin.

"I think he'll love it." Saburo smiled.

He hoped Kululu gave him exactly the reaction he was looking for. He hoped Kululu just stared at her in awe.

* * *

He brought her to the Keroro platoon's base.

"Hey guys! I brought a present for you. Presenting my finest handiwork and craftsmanship-" Saburo grinned, hiding Angol Mois behind the door.

The Keroro platoon just stared at him, they didn't know what he was doing there.

"Are you sure? We both know that Gundam models are your finest work." Keroro said.

Saburo ignored him. "I dolled Angol Mois up. She looks really pretty!" Saburo said letting her walk through the door. "As a pretty boy and someone gorgeous, I knew how to make someone else gorgeous!"

Tamama opened his mouth to no doubt say something mean. Saburo quickly wrote something on a sheet of paper and held it over his head behind Angol Mois so Tamama could see it.

"This has nothing to do with impressing Keroro. Just be quiet, okay? I'll draw you a picture of a cake later." He wrote. "She's in her angolian form so it's really easy for her to destroy the planet if you make her mad." Was on his paper.

Tamama shook a little and nodded.

"Wow! Mois, ummm….You changed your hair color!" Keroro noted. "Hair's so weird. I never understand it." He just shook his head. "Why do pekoponians have so much of it? I mean I even heard a rumor that they have it on their-"

"Don't be gross, Keroro." Giroro hushed. Nobody would insult pekoponians bodies on his watch. Sure they might be like hairy bigfoots to all of them, but still there would be no insults.

Kululu just stared at Angol Mois. He didn't stop staring.

Saburo tried not to look smug.

Eventually Angol Mois realized how much Kululu was staring at her and ogling so she stared back.

"S-stop that." He requested.

"Stop what?" She played innocent.

"L-looking at me." His glasses were cracking a little bit.

"But you were staring at me. What's the harm at looking at you?" Angol Mois asked.

"I...I w-wasn't..I was not." Kululu just stuttered.

Angol Mois wasn't sure why Kululu was getting embarrassed. He loved looking at her. She knew that. He knew she knew that. Why was he getting so embarrassed now? Was it because she was in a different form?

Was it cuz Saburo was there?  
"I don't have my camera lens to protect against the s-sparkles. So I wasn't staring. Ku." Kululu insisted.

"That's weird. You're weird." Angol Mois teased. "We'll get your camera later, I guess."

Kululu gulped, but Saburo could see him turn away before he could blush.

 _I guess that confirms that he's attracted to her. YES! At least that's something!_ Saburo smiled. He couldn't refute Saburo's help now.

He had proof that Kululu was into Angol Mois. He kind of wished Kululu had been more over-dramatic about seeing Angol Mois but he knew the guy saw her everyday so this wasn't that new to him.

He decided to tease and ask Kululu about it later.

* * *

"So...Did you like the outfit I put Angol Mois in?" Saburo asked. "Did I do a good job dressing her up?"

"She looked fine. I could have probably done better." Kululu confessed. "You don't know about all the things Angol Mois looks best in. And I have better designs and ideas. I have a whole journal with outfit ideas. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu bragged.

 _Wow. Yeah umm...That's obsessive. How did I miss that Kululu was so into Mois before?_ "You're attracted to Mois." Saburo stated the obvious, an accusation.

"Well yeah, duh. I never deny when someone's hot as heck. Makes it more fun to have her dress up if I'm appreciative of what I'm looking at. Makes the job a whole lot easier. Ku, ku, ku. And it is very easy to be appreciative..." Kululu didn't mind saying Angol Mois was attractive. After all that wasn't a reason they should get together, nor was it feelings.

It was just looks. No reason to deny that.

"I thought you said Aki was the most attractive person." Saburo frowned. "And that Angol Mois was only the girl of your nightmares. How can she be in your nightmares if you're attracted to her?"

"She's cute too. She can be hot, sexy, sometimes, but as soon as she looks at me or opens her mouth she'll become innocent again regardless of what she's doing. And then the nightmares come." Kululu frowned. "And Aki is the most attractive, data says so. No personal bias and all. And I'm not being personally biased about Mois. She has a nice body. A lot of people have nice bodies, I'm sure. Ku."

"But are you personally attracted to them? Are you more attracted to Mois than the rest?" Saburo asked. _Or are you replying with data again?_

Kululu became silent. He knew Saburo was digging for more Mois information. "Saburo. I'm going to be a little blunt here...And I know I shouldn't answer bluntly since you have some crazy ideas in your head about me and Mois, but I know you won't be satisfied by whatever other answer I give."

Saburo listened.

"I like myself very much. I'm the greatest and Mois….Well...Her angolian form at least, have you noticed anything odd about her outfit?" Kululu asked.

"No?" Saburo replied.

Kululu looked at him. "She has spiral nipples."

Saburo covered his ears. He really didn't want to hear this. "That's the reason? Really?"

"Well that and the lucifer spear. And also she's got a nice pair of legs. Okay and a lot of other body parts, but..It's got nothing to do with me liking her or being personal biased." Kululu shrugged trying to be casual.

Saburo didn't really believe him. He was trying to get past the subject awfully quick.

"I try never to deny that she's hot as heck." Kululu continued. "It...It doesn't usually benefit me. Since I ask her to model for me so frequently it's better to make the experience positive for her by giving her positive reinforcement. Compliment her, ya know? It sure makes her happier to do it. And I'm not risking my Mois pictures to lie about something dumb." Kululu shrugged.

There were other reasons he was against lying about how Mois looked. After all what if it got back to her? He didn't know how exactly she felt about her body after all he wasn't a race who could shape-shift or use a facade in anyway, but to use a disguise all the time instead of her real form...He worried a little that she liked her Asami disguise better than her angolian form.

It was healthier if he just didn't add into any body issues. He knew what it like to feel a little insecure about your appearance. He was very used to it. And he didn't want Mois to feel the same way.

 _Still...I didn't expect Saburo to dress her up. I'm glad I was able to keep my cool and not...Stare too much._ He liked staring at her, but he had been getting embarrassed. Usually he was better prepared to see her in a pretty outfit because he had made them. But this had been a surprise.

So he wasn't mentally prepared at all. His Mois shields weren't up.

 _That was too much. She was too cute._ What if Saburo's good intentions accidentally killed him? Didn't he know the power of Mois's good looks and her sparkly eyes were dangerous? They needed to be used in small doses or else he would no doubt die.

He knew this 100%. He had to stop Saburo.

* * *

Kululu had a plan to stop Saburo, but it required Angol Mois's help, the other person who was in this.

"Mois...You know how Saburo is still trying to set us up right? Cuz for some reason the misguided fool thinks we'd be a good match for each other?" Kululu asked.

Angol Mois looked a little uncomfortable when he brought that up. She didn't know where this conversation was headed. She never knew with Kululu. She looked up briefly from her computer screen. "...Yes?"

"And you know how both of us, 100% don't want that? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu asked again.

"T-that's...True…?" Angol Mois didn't know if that was true. _Kinda sounds like he's starting to hint that maybe it's only 95% true on his side. Wait...Is he going to ask me out or something? Has Saburo gotten to him?_ Kululu wasn't that willing to help out his friend, right?

"Well, I was thinking about a plan to maybe get him to leave us alone." Kululu suggested. "Would you be up for it."

Angol Mois listened. _O-oh. Guess I was wrong._ She didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. She supposed that would make sense that Kululu wanted to plan with her. She was just as deep in this as him. "I'd be more than willing!" She perked up.

"I was thinking if we pretended we were already a couple or something, he'd get off our backs. I mean he just wants us to be together. He'll feel like he helped, and then he'll leave us alone and we'll be on our marry way. Does mean we have to act super loving for like a day or two but if that's what it requires for him to stop shipping us I'd be more than willing. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu suggested.

Angol Mois thought about it. His plan didn't sound wrong. It sounded like it would probably work too. "All right. You could say, the lovey dovey plan begins now?" She stretched out her hand to shake his.

Kululu gave a sinister grin. "Just a warning. I'm going to have to be super creepy and terrible and get in your personal space bubble to get Saburo to believe it. He's no idiot."

"I'll try to be as lovesick as I usually am around, Uncle. I'm a great romantic! Don't worry!" Angol Mois reassured.

Kululu winced. _I thought maybe I could be a little bit of a jerk to survive this. I know she gets a little embarrassed about abrupt touching but…._ He hoped he could survive.

Because Saburo would probably see a whole new side of Kululu that he had never seen before if he saw Kululu freak out around Angol Mois.

 _I mean...If he sees me freak out from her acting super affectionate and staring at me...Maybe he'll truthfully understand I'm afraid. _He hoped.

But something in the pit of his stomach said that wasn't going to happen. That someone looking at Kululu's terror might get the wrong idea.

* * *

Saburo approached Angol Mois and Kululu who were walking in the street together. He wondered what plan of his he should try today.

But the two of them seemed lost in conversation with each other.

"Oh and then I was thinking of making the vaccum suck up all Tamama's evil and maybe he'd be somewhat tolerable then. I think I'll shoot it at Keroro the vaccum that can suck evil. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu bragged about a new invention.

"Kululu I don't think I like this idea of an invention...I mean it's probably going to blow up in your face. You're the most evil around. What if it sucks up your evil?" Mois asked concerned. "Then you'd be only nice!"

"Ku!" Kululu laughed. "Babe, don't worry. Nothing can suck up my evil."

"Except me you mean." Angol Mois pointed out.

"Unfortunate. Unfortunate." Kululu just repeated. "But you can suck my-"

Angol Mois shook her head. "I'm not a vacuum cleaner." She laughed.

"Uhhh...Yeah you just keep thinking that's what I was saying. Man, you really miss flirting a lot." Kululu just sighed. This time she was supposed to pick up on the flirting! She needed to so Saburo could see how close they were.

Saburo just stared. Were they acting weird or closer? Or was this normal? It looked pretty normal to him.

Kululu reached up and entwined his fingers with Angol Mois's as if to give her the cue that they should be closer and a little more flirtatious. He could see that Saburo had stopped moving but that he wasn't really picking up on anything. "So..Did you want to go get some ice cream for our date? Ku."

"Oh yeah. I like ice cream!" Angol Mois giggled.

Kululu hoped Saburo at least picked up on that. He had explicitly said date.

He saw Saburo pretending not to follow even though he was.

* * *

They sat down in the park on a bench with their ice cream. Kululu knew Saburo was walking somewhere, or was behind a tree. He could probably hear them.

"You're cute." Angol Mois finally said.

"Thanks. So are you." Kululu replied.

"No, I mean, like you really are cute! I've told you this plenty of times, right? You're adorable." Angol Mois complimented. She smiled and the smile seemed to light up everything.

 _WHOA WAIT, CRAP. She's trying to use the technique of come from a place of genuineness so that her words aren't full lies!_ It made things convincing, especially for Saburo since Saburo wasn't an idiot, but he couldn't take her sincerity.

It was too cute. It was so cute. It was destroying him. "Y-you're-" He couldn't flirt back.

"You're the best, Kululu. You're like...So cool! I always love looking at you and staring at you. I never want to take my eyes off of you." Angol Mois continued to shower him in compliments so that it seemed like they were super lovey-dovey.

And the worst part was that Kululu could see in her smile, hear in the way her voice perked up and how proud she was, she wasn't lying.

It was the thing that frightened him the most about Angol Mois. The thing he hated about her. He covered his face in his hands, unable to cover up the blush. He hoped it hadn't somehow melted through his hands and she could see.

"K-ku. S-stop that." He was getting too frazzled. Saburo was sure to see and understand that he was afraid.

But by the way he was smiling, would he really understand that he was afraid?

 _Got to get her to stop talking. To stop looking. S-saburo's definitely going to t-think I'm pathetic for being so frightened. I can already feel every cell in my body dying._ He could actually hear wires in his headphones fizzing from the heat rushing to his head.

Man, did Mois destroy him. His glasses were fogging up and breaking too.

"Ah, M-mois." He had to find his resolve to convince Saburo that they were a couple. To say her name without stuttering.

She smiled waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"Want to try some of my ice cream?" Kululu asked. He knew in-direct kisses were a big thing on Pekopon and he just had to survive one.

He didn't really know if he could do that. Mois might not know that they had experienced any indirect kisses before, but he remembered one time when he had grabbed her water bottle by mistake...She wasn't sure why he had freaked out for over an hour, but he sure as heck wasn't going to tell her.

"Um...No thank you." Angol Mois smiled. "You put curry on your's." She laughed.

 _Oh. Oh yeah. I guess she's not willing to get Saburo off our backs if it means eating curried ice cream._ He frowned. _Wimp._

"Ku, ku, ku, mind if I have some of your ice cream then? I won't lick any part your mouth has touched, don't worry." He reassured.

 _Even if I did it would be better than Saburo trying to hook us up._ He didn't want Mois to cry again.

Angol Mois thought for a moment. "Okay!" He had warned her ahead of time that he might need to invade her personal space bubble. Ice cream sharing wasn't nearly as bad as anything else.

Kululu didn't move to the ice cream though. _This ought to be enough for Saburo. Get him to leave and take all doubts out of his mind._ He hoped he was doing this to get rid of Saburo and not out of his own selfish desire.

He also knew he might be doing it to be a jerk to Mois. That sounded a lot like him. Any opportunity he could take to be a jerk till the end.

He moved his mouth over towards Mois's slender fingers where a small amount of ice cream had dripped. All too slowly he gave them a hesitant and long lick.

Angol Mois immediately lit up in blush. He could feel her hand shake as if about to drop the ice cream.

 _KU! TAKE THAT. YEARS OF TORTURE AND FINALLY YOU'RE BLUSHING ABOUT AS MUCH AS I USUALLY DO._ He knew he shouldn't be enjoying this.

He was way embarrassed about his mouth touching her, but licking her fingers wasn't...technically...a kiss. And he'd even do something that he'd freak out about later if it meant being a big jerk to someone. That was just how he rolled.

"K-kulu..." Angol Mois wondered if she should stop him. She knew what he was doing, and honestly it made sense. Saburo would need more evidence than a few flirtatious words to show that they were in love.

It was just a hand. She quickly pulled her hand away.

Kululu pouted. _He's going to find out if you get all embarrassed!_ His eyes scolded.

She just switched what hand was holding the ice cream. She didn't want to drop it after all. And with what he was doing, she was sure he'd drop it. _Although...I have the sinking suspicion he kind of deserves if I like...Drop it on his face or something. Slam the ice cream cone on his face. I kinda feel like he was doing that just for the sake of being a jerk, and not to convince Saburo. Or maybe both._ Angol Mois frowned.

Why was it that around Kululu, everybody lost? She supposed that was just Kululu's way.

"You taste delicious. Ku." Kululu tried to flirt.

"Wanted to switch hands. It was hard to hold the cone." Angol Mois explained herself.

 _Oh? So she's going to let me do that again?_ Kululu was surprised. _I wonder if Saburo's even still watching._ Honestly for a second he didn't care. He'd tell Mois he was anyway.

He moved forward again to lick at her fingers. He liked the position a lot because he could look at her face and how embarrassed she was and how she wasn't trying to meet his eyes. How her gaze would only flicker over to his lips.

Eventually he moved over to the other fingers, opening his mouth to suck almost. When his mouth engulfed her fingers she opened her mouth for a moment.

Kululu wondered briefly if she was going to protest or give a small moan. She had managed to compose herself and silence herself a bit, but he thought it was probably a moan. She was breathing rather heavily.

He loved this. It was so fun to see Angol Mois like this. It was a pity she couldn't take it and had to stop.

She pulled her fingers gently out of Kululu's mouth and leaned down to him.

 _W-what's going on n-now?_ Kululu wondered. He noticed she had dropped her ice cream in her other hand. Was she mad.

Her eyes were wide and her face to close to him. If he wasn't so much of an idiot he would have probably realized that she was about to kiss him so that his lips could at least be doing something else. She probably wasn't thinking very much.

Maybe she was trying to help them both get Saburo to believe.

However he was focused to much on something entirely different. How she slowly moved closer and closer, and how her eyes were looking at him. Her bright, lovely, innocent eyes.

He didn't notice how they were slowly closing. He just noticed them, and that they were looking into his eyes meaningfully.

He felt her hand on his arm, pulling him even closer. He couldn't flee and get away.

But his eyes widened at the eye contact. He couldn't survive any longer or contain himself. This was too much.  
"AHHHHH!" He screamed like a pathetic loser.

"Kululu?" Angol Mois pulled back. The scream was pretty loud and abrupt. She had thought they were trying to act like a couple, not...Like normal.

"P-please. Don't stare at me. D-don't..Don't do it...Y-you're m-making all the badness and bad thoughts go away. S-stop looking at me. Stop making me look at your eyes! Stop warping my thoughts!" Kululu screamed. "Stop staring! Please I'll do anything!"

"Kululu! It's all right!" She knew she should be shocked by this freak-out but really it was only average level of a Kululu freak out.

"I surrender. You're too cute! Just stop! I won't be a jerk! I cant do this plan! I couldn't survive! Can't pretend to be loving! I've realized it! I'm going to die if you look at me more!" Kululu realized.

Saburo just watched in utter shock. _This...Is what he said was a fear?_ He was kind of confused when Kululu and Angol Mois were acting so romantic, but hey, whatever worked. Knew there had been some catch to it. Who knew they would fake it?

He didn't believe all the finger licking was fake. Kululu seemed to be just kind of making the best out of the situation.

 _He's totally just embarrassed. God it's so obvious he has a crush on her!_ Saburo couldn't believe how much of an idiot Kululu was.

As Kululu opened his mouth and his ghost came out as if he was dying and he collapsed on the ground twitching, Saburo watched.

This was a version of Kululu he had never seen. He had never seen Kululu vulnerable, frightened, timid and embarrassed. Who knew he got so frantic around a cute girl?

"Oh no Kululu! I'll take you to the paramedics! You'll survive! I know you will! And I will take care of you and nurse you back to health!" Angol Mois reassured, like the good friend she was.

"Just leave me. There's no saving my life. I don't think I'm willing to go through you nursing me back to health. Ku." Kululu begged weakly.

Angol Mois frowned. "We'll get you to the doctors immediately!" She took the situation way too seriously and picked Kululu up.

The two flew off.

"Wait! I'm not really dead!" Kululu reassured.

"Shhhh...That's not true. We'll fix you up." Angol Mois told him.

Saburo just watched. Kululu was such an idiot. His crush was so obvious, and he got very embarrassed about it. No wonder Kululu didn't want to accept it, it really hindered him and he just kind of fell into the lovesick fool stage like Giroro.

 _Gotta help my pal out. I'll get him his crush._ Saburo decided.

* * *

He confronted Kululu later in Kululu's lab.

"I saw you freak out around Angol Mois." Saburo confessed. He knew Kululu knew he was there.

Kululu was silent. "Now you know why I hid it from you. It was embarrassing! I don't like people seeing me freak out. I'm not a pathetic terrified weakling-"

"You are in love." Saburo cut him off. "I mean it's so obvious that thing's a crush it would take an idiot not to know."

Kululu was silent. The way Saburo phrased it made it kind of sound like he was calling Kululu of all people an idiot. "Why do you say that? I mean, I'm pretty messed up. I really am afraid of her for being pure."

"If you were afraid of her truthfully you wouldn't want to hang around her, you wouldn't say she's cute, you wouldn't be attracted to her, and most importantly you wouldn't suck on her fingers or text me about how you were enjoying a blind date with her!" Saburo pointed out.

Kululu was silent. These were...all very fair points. "I'm a….Masochist?" He suggested. "I enjoy being attracted to something I'm terrified to?"

"I'm not denying that. But I'm pretty sure there are real feelings too. Like you have a crush on her. Why else would you be afraid of her making you 'pure' unless she made you feel the need to be overly nice to her or like you wanted to do good things around you. You got those butterflies in your stomach." Saburo accused.

Kululu's eyes widened and his glasses cracked. "N-no! No! Not at all! They're worms! Yes! Yes, maggots eating away my insides!"

"Bet your heart rate accelerates around her. And your face flushes and those nightmares are just good dreams you're too afraid to accept as good dreams-" Saburo trailed off.

"They're nightmares! Why would I of all people want to kiss Mois? And I just get feverish with fear and that's why the heart rate and the breathing and-" Kululu was panicking and making up the worst excuses imaginable.

Saburo just sighed. Yeah, that said it all. He just shook his head.

"S-stop looking at me like that. It's not like that. I'm not in denial. This is all true!" Kululu denied pathetically. "I want her gone. I want her to stop looking at me and being around me. So why would I have a crush on her?"

Saburo frowned. "Why did you act so sad when she was gone when you two were fighting then? I thought you wanted her around."

"W-well I do...For like work. And...It's complicated. You can want someone around constantly and not want them around at all!" Kululu defended.

 _No you can't. That's conflicting._ Saburo frowned. "Why don't you tell her?" He asked again. He didn't see why Kululu just couldn't confess.

But Saburo already knew. It wasn't just Kululu's embarrassment and denial and confliction that was stopping him. He had just stated it after all. " _You can want someone around constantly"_ He had admitted that he wanted Mois around constantly.

He was miserable when she wasn't around. He remembered that from their fight. Kululu hadn't been getting anything done was what the other Keroro platoon members had complained about. He needed Mois to keep him grounded. Focused.

He enjoyed her company so much. And he was afraid of losing that if he confessed because he thought she might be uncomfortable.

After all he had only fully started putting his foot down when Mois voiced that she wasn't comfortable about Saburo hooking them up. Saburo knew Kululu would probably be open to listening to him.

So then all this being against the idea of him and Mois hooking up was for Mois's sake.

He was too afraid to lose her over a risky gamble on feelings. And he knew she didn't feel the same for him since she was very vocal in her love for Keroro.

 _I'm sure...A part of him knows he's in love with Angol Mois. After all he's panicking and trying to keep it a secret. Also he's not an idiot._ Saburo frowned. _So then he doesn't want to make a move for her sake. He can't make a move because it risks hurting the relationship they already have._

He was already losing Saburo as a friend to distance. Saburo knew Kululu reacted poorly to losing people but wouldn't fight them on it in anyway. That's why he was doing this, so Kululu wouldn't lose someone.

But Kululu was already scared of losing Angol Mois.

"I...I understand, buddy." Saburo smiled and lied. "You totally don't have a crush on Angol Mois." He lied.

"Thank you." Kululu turned back to his work. Maybe if Saburo said it enough times both of them would believe it.

 _Kululu will never make the first move._ Saburo realized as he walked out of the lab. _So then I need to make Mois make the first move if they are to ever get together. Kululu's just too shy._

The problem lied fully with Mois. She didn't like Kululu yet. But he had to get her to fall in love with Kululu.

If he could get her to fall in love with Kululu and confess, Kululu would definitely date her. She was too cute to refuse and he did like her. So there would finally be some resolution to their relationship.

 _I got to get her to make the first move though!_ Saburo states the facts. And he walked off and left.

He had to go make Mois fall in love. It was Mois who was his opponent that he was dealing with now.

* * *

Please review.


	9. Denial

**This chapter is really long. I apologize.**

* * *

He felt like his smile was almost sinister as it crossed his face. His target was no longer Kululu, there was no reason to change Kululu's thoughts on the matter.

 _If my buddy wants something he'll get it._ Although the thing he wanted was the innocent girl Angol Mois who, unfortunately was hopelessly in love with Keroro. Saburo hoped he could change that though.

He walked up to Angol Mois. This mission was easy. The wingman's guide had made it simple. **"Sometimes when you're trying to pair up two people who are already friends you can get one to deny they like the other so much that they'll start feeling it's denial and wonder if they really do like the other person. They'll get unnecessarily embarrassed."** The book had advised.

And pressing Kululu on the matter had worked. Well, Kululu had never admitted to it, but Saburo had figured out he liked Angol Mois anyway.

He leaned against the arm of the couch, almost smugly. Angol Mois didn't realize he was staring at her as she worked, cleaning things and putting them away. "D-do you need anything? You're kind of staring at me."

"I've figured you out." Saburo smiled.

"Oh?" Angol Mois tilted her head to the side curiously.

"You're so against the idea of me trying to set you and Kululu up because you already like him. You feel its awkward and don't want him to look too much into your feelings or have your friendship change. Especially when he's acted rather disinterested in you." Saburo remarked.

Sure this was actually Kululu's feelings, but why couldn't he project them on Mois too?

Angol Mois shook her head. "And why would you think a little thing like that? I value Kululu as a friend, but I don't think I've shown any romantic interest in him around you." She kept her calm, instead of getting panicky about the accusations like Kululu had.

 _Darn. Wanted her to get more in denial._ Saburo frowned. "Oh, but Kululu tells me about every little thing between you~." Saburo tried to lie, "And there's tons of moments that have looked a little suspicious to him."

She thought for a moment. "Like? What looks suspicious to him?"

"Huh?" Saburo was confused. He didn't have any evidence for Mois, Kululu didn't tell him that much about his and Mois's relationship. He didn't expect her to be so calm about this whole accusation thing.

Perhaps it was because her heart belonged to another. She didn't seem to feel much of a need to defend herself.

"Well, I'd like to know myself. I don't not believe you Saburo, but maybe I was acting a little too close or weird. I would have rather had him confront me himself, but I'm curious as to what I did wrong that made it look like I had a crush on him." Angol Mois frowned.

"Do you have any guesses?" Saburo asked. "I mean, I'm sure a smart girl like you has guesses as to what he misinterpreted." _If she has guesses then that means there is something there._

Angol Mois smiled politely. "Not really!"

 _Crap. Then I got nothing._ "I mean it's pretty clear that you like him. After all you get embarrassed over really small things, like I saw you two in the park and he was licking your fingers..."

Angol Mois gave a big sigh, "Have you ever had someone suck on your fingers? It's embarrassing stuff. Anybody would be embarrassed regardless of who did it. And we did it to get you off our back! Unfortunately it didn't work."

Saburo frowned. She made a good point. "It's...Just so obvious. I mean he's your exact type of guy. Smart, into all sorts of technology, destructive…." He couldn't figure out any more reasons to get her to deny it, to make her embarrassed.

"H-hey! That's not my t-type!" Angol Mois tried to defend.

Saburo smiled. _Ah yeah. She doesn't know that I'm Mutsumi...And I read her type. Well at least there's something._

"Sure it isn't. You don't have to hide it from me, Mois. I mean I know you have a big crush on Kululu. Hey, I'm happy for you! I want to help you, if you'll let me…." Saburo trailed off.

Angol Mois looked irritated and angry for a second at the accusations, but she calmed down. "I...I guess I can understand you confusing things...I just...I don't know how much more obvious I have to be that I'm in love with Uncle? I say I love him every moment I'm around?" Angol Mois frowned, "But you're not even the first person to confuse mine and Kululu's relationship."

Saburo didn't want her to be thinking of Keroro. He wanted her to be thinking about Kululu. "Maybe you're using Keroro as an excuse because you really like Kululu!"

Angol Mois shook her head. "I...Don't think so." She seemed pretty set in her ways. "I mean it's fine what you're saying, I'll try not to be angry about it, but it's weird and untrue. I'm sorry but I just don't feel that way about Kululu."

"You sure...So hypothetically speaking you wouldn't...Date him if he suggested it?" Saburo asked. He waited for Angol Mois to blush or anything.

"Ha. I'm not falling for that again." Angol Mois smiled remembering the blind date that Saburo had organized.

And with that she went back to her work, no more defensive words to say about it, nothing to offer the conversation.

Saburo continued trying to tease her about her big crush, but she always brushed it off. The entire day he tried to get her at various times and remind her that she had a crush but she easily corrected him telling him she liked Keroro.

There was nothing like a lie in her tone.

 _Crap. This isn't working. What do I do now?_ Saburo wondered.

* * *

Angol Mois didn't spend the entire day being hounded by Saburo so that he could accuse her of Kululu related things. She had other people who needed to con and trick her after all.

Saburo noticed that other person was Tamama for one.

"Woman! I heard Mr. Sergeant really likes natto." Tamama grinned. "Why don't you give him some? I got an extra slimey batch with my Nishizawa money, but you can give it to him instead..." Tamama knew full well Keroro hated natto with a passion.

He was sure if Angol Mois gave Keroro natto Keroro would hate her.

"Okay! I would love to! If it'll make Uncle like me I'd be happy to do it!" Angol Mois smiled and took what Tamama handed her.

She bounced off, for her gift to probably blow up in her face and her to not learn her lesson at all.

 _Huh...Interesting...So Mois is easily conned._ Saburo realized. A malicious grin spread across his face. He should have known this.

This was his ticket to get her to fall for Kululu. She was way too trusting. She just hung onto every word that someone said and took it for granted.

He approached her later after she was done pouting about how much Keroro had yelled at her for the bad natto gift.

"Oh...Saburo. Here to tell me I like Kululu again?" Angol Mois guessed. "I'm pretty sure that's not true considering how worked up I am about Uncle being unhappy."

Saburo reached out and pat her on the back. "Well, I mean I'm not saying I'm here to not tell you that, I mean I still very much believe it...But I mean you're my friend too just like Kululu is so I decided to give you some advice."

"Kululu related advice?" Angol Mois was tired.

"No, Keroro." Saburo smiled.

Angol Mois perked up instantly.

"I think I know why he's never interested in you and doesn't pick up on your flirting, why your crush is always unrequited." Saburo told her.

"Why?" Angol Mois grabbed onto Saburo's shirt, her eyes wide and desperate for answers.

 _He's gay._ Saburo decided that wasn't his information to give and also had nothing to do with his current goal. "Well you said it yourself. It wasn't just me who thought you and Kululu were super close, right?"

Angol Mois nodded.

"I actually talked to the rest of the platoon, the Hinata's...Everybody, really. They all think you have a thing for Kululu!" Saburo lied. "Even Keroro. So of course Keroro hasn't picked up on any flirting because he thinks you're hopelessly into someone else!"

Angol Mois covered her mouth, a gasp escaping her lips. Could that really be true? Was that the source of all her Keroro related problems? He just thought she was super in love with Kululu?

They did talk an awful lot on the sidelines. She wouldn't be that surprised if Keroro, with his denseness did think that. The rest of the platoon? Well she questioned their intelligence on a daily basis so they were fair game too.

"I..I...But I'm not going to cut Kululu out of my life or spend less time with him just so Uncle will maybe think I don't like him! That's really stupid and I care about Kululu far too much to do that!" Angol Mois was too good of a friend to put her relationship with Kululu in jeopardy for Keroro.

Saburo smiled as he pat her shoulder. _I'm glad of that. At least you care about him as a friend and can admit that._ That was something, right? Kululu wouldn't be truly alone when he left. "I mean, it's just that everybody is so convinced, even Kululu's wondered...It makes me wonder, do you truly know yourself if you like Kululu or not?"

"Of course I know where my own feelings are!" Angol Mois protested.

"But, I've been thinking about it...And like you weren't embarrassed at all when I was teasing you. But at the same time I know, from the things that Kululu said, that you do like him from the way you act." Saburo referenced something that never actually happened. "So it makes me wonder if you can truthfully 100% tell yourself that you know that you don't have even the teensiest crushes on Kululu."

Angol Mois opened her mouth to protest some more about how if she wasn't embarrassed that should be proof enough.

"Let me remind you that sometimes other people can observe things better than others, because they're outsiders. For example everybody except Fuyuki knows that Fuyuki likes Momoka. It could be the same for you." Saburo was very persuasive.

And unfortunately Angol Mois was very easy to convince.

"Well...I mean that's true...You make a good point..." She bit her lip.

"Also I'm like 70% sure you guys almost kissed yesterday?" Saburo scratched his head. Had that been part of their act? He could believe Kululu would do that to get him off his back. Angol Mois might be willing to go that far especially if Kululu had asked her to do it beforehand, but Kululu hadn't seemed prepared for it, not did he still realize they had indeed almost kissed. So likely it had been unplanned and more genuine than either of them want to think about.

Angol Mois covered her face and instantly turned red. This time she really was embarrassed. "That...Never happened."

Now that was a straight up lie.

"I don't think you actually know if you like him. Or you don't want to think about it at least." Saburo shook his side. "Man for someone who lives on emotion and impulsiveness so much, destroying planets just cuz, not destroying them on someone else's small whim, you sure don't like to think about anything that might be too hard for you."

Angol Mois just stared at him. She shook her head, but as Saburo predicted his logic was starting to work on her. She was becoming less and less sure of herself.

"No. No. He's just a friend." Angol Mois reassured. She sounded like she was talking mostly to herself.

Saburo smiled. "It sounds like you need to confirm this, confirm for yourself that you don't like Kululu. Lucky for you I know how."

"How?" Angol Mois asked.

"Kiss him." Saburo shrugged.

Angol Mois shook her head and just blushed. "I can't do that! Why would that confirm I didn't like him?"

"It might. Or it might not. If you kissed him and there was nothing there, you felt no connection or no rush of embarrassment, enjoyment, positive emotions, you don't like him. Simple as that. If you don't feel like there's a spark everybody was probably wrong about you and Kululu." Saburo told her.

She was blushing but she listened to his words. "I-I...I can't. That's cruel to Kululu. I mean he isn't...He isn't going through this." Angol Mois pointed out. "It would make him feel awkward! I don't want to hurt him like that."

 _You two care about each other so much in like...the exact same way, worrying about each other. You're both idiots. Just let me help you!_ They were stubborn fools. Neither of them really wanted to make the first move.

"That and I like Uncle. I can't kiss someone else." That statement was the afterthought to Kululu feeling uncomfortable.

Saburo just blinked. _Now I'm wondering myself if Mois likes Kululu. I know I made that up to convince her to fall for him, but...Maybe I'm believing my own lie._ She certainly sounded like she kinda did.

"Kululu won't care if you kiss him." Saburo reassured, putting his arm around Mois's shoulder. "I mean he's kind of a perv, got no good morals too. He doesn't care about being kissed." Saburo shrugged. "Believe me a cute girl like you kissing him would be a gift."

Angol Mois frowned. "Well….I mean...Maybe...He is kind of a pervert...And you're right that he does have no morals about that stuff...He teases Giroro and asks him for kisses all the time. I mean, it doesn't happen." She continued to frown. "Also I feel like he licked my fingers the other day just to be a jerk?"

"Sounds like Kululu." Saburo replied. "And Keroro...Well, Keroro would be totally jealous if you kissed Kululu in front of him! It might make him realize he didn't want you with Kululu."

"Ah! You could say, two birds with one stone? Figure out my feelings for Kululu and get Uncle jealous!" Angol Mois clapped.

"Yeah. Yeah, exactly." Saburo gave her a thumbs up.

He didn't really need her to do it in front of anybody, but he knew doing it in front of Keroro would get her to kiss Kululu. After all now she wanted to make Keroro jealous.

He just had to hope that there was a spark there and this caused the seed of doubt that Saburo had planted to take growth.

 _Wait...But what if there isn't? Kululu can't be a really good kisser, and he is rather ugly..._ Saburo knew he couldn't stick Angol Mois in an unhappy relationship. After all that would make it so she might risk leaving Kululu.

But he realized all too late that this plan was going to blow up in his face. Because Angol Mois would feel nothing except disgust at kissing Kululu and then it would be near impossible to get her to fall for him.

He ran off to go stop her, seeing her run off to wherever Kululu and Keroro were. But he was all too late.

* * *

As soon as Saburo had convinced her that it was okay by Kululu, Angol Mois left for the meeting room. Kululu was probably in there browsing his computer as Keroro ranted to him about a boring invasion plan.

She opened the door to the board room. Keroro stood on the table ranting about some plan. Kululu was tuning him out at his computer. Giroro and Tamama had long since left bored of Keroro's pointless idea and how little it would work.

Dororo was there, but nobody noticed him. He was crying for attention and for Keroro to notice him.

 _Good! It's just Uncle and Kululu._ Angol Mois smiled. That was her target audience. She really didn't need Tamama of all people to see this, or Giroro. Giroro would just be like 'yuck why'd you do that.' and Tamama would make fun of her.

She hoped Saburo was right that Kululu really didn't have morals about kissing. She had never really asked or talked to him about it before, his own romantic feelings, towards well anything. She really suspected they weren't there and he just liked to prank people a lot.

 _Just one kiss. That's what Saburo said. This ought to reassure everybody._ She knew for sure it wouldn't be a big thing. Saburo had been right about Kululu that he wouldn't be mad.

After all Saburo was Kululu's best friend. He knew so much about him.

She glanced at Keroro.

"Oh! Lady Mois! Did you need something? Did you want to take notes?" Keroro smiled broadly.

"Actually I came for Kululu." Angol Mois replied honestly.

Keroro's smiled dropped. This was a surprise.

Kululu stopped browsing his computer. This was a surprise to him too honestly. "Yes? My lab didn't explode or something did it? Is there some emergency? Ku, ku, ku" He asked. Those were the only reasons he could logically come up with that Angol Mois had come to see him over Keroro.

She shook her head and walked over to him. For some reason she didn't really need to swallow and get into a head space of what she was going to do. _Probably helps that Kululu is a cutie._ She decided.

Kululu looked around trying to figure out why she was walking up to him. She could talk to him from across the room? Was it one of those polite things that was one of those social cues he had never really picked up on?

She bent down so their faces were on the same level.

 _Ku! I guess the lab did explode. And I can bet who did it. I guess she came to apologize?_ This sort of close, eye contact level he knew was reserved for serious conversations and apologies. He wanted to prod her into talking more, but she leaned forward before he could.

Her lips met his and she kissed him. She reached forward to hold one of his hands or something since she didn't know what else to hold. That and she could easily figure out if Saburo had tricked her and this was taking advantage of Kululu and he didn't like it.

"WHAT." Keroro stopped ranting and just stared forward in pure shock.

Dororo's mouth hung open. "I...I...Um...We're in the room!" He blushed.

Unfortunately for Dororo and Keroro, the poor onlookers, Kululu and Angol Mois didn't stop kissing. And it wasn't completely Angol Mois's fault.

As soon as Angol Mois's lips met his, Kululu completely forgot what was happening and what he was doing, he reached up to her hair to weave his fingers through it and draw her closer as if to drink up her lips. He kissed her back fully and slowly.

He had wanted this for so long. And if Keroro was right there...Well, it had to mean something. He couldn't really psycho-analyze her actions at the moment. He was just too busy getting lost in the moment and kissing her.

"GUYS! GUYS! Please stop kissing!" Keroro said frantically at all the gross kissing sounds. The kiss was tame as of now, romantic and sweet, but he had no idea how long that would last. It was awkward to see his niece in a romantic kiss with Kululu anyway.

"Umm...Perhaps it would be a better idea to suck faces somewhere else?" Dororo spoke up. "Unless….What if they don't even know that I'm here? Oh no...What if they forgot about me!" He cried.

"Dororo? You're here?" Keroro asked.

And with that, knowing that Dororo was in the room, Angol Mois pulled apart. She hadn't expected several things and Dororo being in the room was three too many surprises.

She hadn't expected Kululu to kiss back so lovingly and be so into it for one. And that was something he just could not deny.

 _That and..._ She didn't curse. Saburo's advice to reassure herself that she didn't like Kululu didn't work at all! Of course there was a spark there because Kululu was a damn good kisser. It still embarrassed her how much he had tugged at her lips, how soft some of the kisses had been.

Her face was completely flushed. She had expected it to be just short. _I was an idiot! I should have known he'd be a good at it. How can I figure out how I feel about Kululu when my body betrays me by liking kissing him? Hormones aren't love._ She knew she had a problem with her hormones already. Saburo had been right that she had almost kissed him the other day too.

Kululu glanced at Angol Mois his head spinning more than the spiral on his hat. His glasses were probably spinning too, but he didn't pay attention to that. He wanted to figure out why she had kissed him, but he was smart enough to know.

The shock on her face was evident when she glanced at him shyly. She hadn't expected him to kiss back or be into it or like it at all.

If she hadn't expected him to kiss back, why had she kissed him? It had to be more of Saburo's doing. He had to have convinced her somehow, used some sort of bad logic to con her.

Kululu knew Angol Mois was way too easily conned. The poor girl had fallen hook, line and sinker for Saburo's terrible advice and had kissed Kululu or something.

And like a fool his body had betrayed him and for a moment he had allowed himself to believe she was kissing him because she wanted to. And he had kissed back.

He frowned, letting his head stop spinning. The Saburo issue of him meddling in his and Angol Mois's lives brought him back to reality. The shock on Angol Mois's face brought him from wherever he was on the clouds.

"Did Saburo con you or something to do that?" Kululu asked, irritated.

"H-huh?" Angol Mois was still blushing. She wasn't sure how Kululu could get so calm and composed so soon. Maybe he was just cooler than her. "H-he...He didn't con me. I mean he did suggest that I do that and advice it. But..Wait, did he con me?"

"Duh." Kululu replied. "Ku, ku, ku. Can't believe you fell for whatever stupidity he said."

Keroro was so confused. "Are you and Saburo having a prank war or something Kululu?" He felt a little better that the world was turning right again. Angol Mois hadn't kissed Kululu because she wanted to.

Kululu ignored Keroro.

"I-I'm sorry..." Angol Mois apologized.

Kululu sighed. He knew it wasn't really fully Angol Mois's fault. _Shouldn't expect for her to not be conned by Saburo if she trusts me, Tamama and Keroro and does whatever we want too. And we're way worse._ He was glad she hadn't gotten herself in any real trouble yet although he always did have to keep tabs on what Tamama was tricking her into to make sure that it didn't cross any lines.

"Come closer." He requested.

Angol Mois turned bright red. She did as he wanted. He reached over to her forehead and flicked her with his finger.

"Ow!" Angol Mois childishly replied. She was smiling though as she rubbed her forehead. She was glad Kululu wasn't too mad.

"Idiot. I'm going to have to bop you more for falling for a trick like that. Next time don't listen to Saburo telling you to kiss people." He bopped her gently again.

"I'm sorry! I'm really truthfully sorry!" She apologized over and over again.

Kululu's gaze softened. It was nice to know that things instantly went back to normal after that. And he knew she was sorry. "If you're really sorry, eat this chili pepper." He grinned. "Ku, ku, ku. You make the cutest expressions when you have to eat overly spicy foods."

He pulled out a chili pepper from nowhere.

"No...Don't make her do that… Those things are awful." Keroro frowned.

"Ku, ku, ku!" Kululu laughed.

Angol Mois took the chili pepper and ate it her face lighting up from the spice. Kululu gave her water after the ordeal and she chugged it down. "Ah! That was hard!"

"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu grinned.

Angol Mois frowned and pouted and the two of them teased each other.

* * *

Despite how quickly the two of them had recovered from the kiss, Angol Mois couldn't stop thinking about it. She knew Saburo would say that if she was thinking about it she was in love with Kululu, and she knew he was right, it had been amazing from her side, she had loved it and her mind just kept going back to it, but there was something that confused her a lot about it.

 _He kissed me back. And there was no reason for him to._ She recalled, touching her lips. He had kissed her back a lot too. He had been clearly into it.

She could feel his fingers running through her hair making her heart speed up, his lips hungrily kissing hers. But she wasn't sure why Kululu would act that way.

She had been wondering...having a flake of suspicion for a while that Kululu's actions towards her won't the most normal. She wanted to label them as normal friends, sure, but it was kind of hard to label them as normal friends when one of them was terrified of the other.

She knew Kululu didn't hate her, but he always got so embarrassed around her. She didn't mind and tried to ease his mind and fears, but that always seemed to make things worse.

And then there were times on top of that where it almost felt like he was flirting with her? She always quieted that feeling down because she didn't want to be stupid and think that Kululu was flirting with her when he clearly wasn't- that he was asking her on a date or something. That would get her overly attached to him or something like that for the wrong reason and she didn't want another Uncle on her hands.

She knew a lot of the things Keroro did that she read as romantic weren't. She didn't need to over-analyze Kululu's actions too. She was probably wrong about them after all and he didn't deserve her to be doing that.

Still...She was very confused about Kululu. And her suspicions were starting to pile up. She didn't want to be dense, but she needed confirmation or someone to tell her that she was fully wrong.

She decided not to ask Kululu. So she went to Saburo knowing he'd probably give her the wrong answer, that Kululu was hopelessly in love with her or something. _But maybe I want that answer._ Angol Mois quieted that voice in her head.

She approached Saburo, walking up to him slowly. "Does Kululu like me?"

Saburo looked surprised at that question. He had expected Angol Mois to be disgusted by her kiss or think that she liked Kululu. Not ask that question.

 _What should I do? Lie and say he doesn't? That wouldn't help her fall for him._ He tried to figure out a plan of action.

He knew sometimes people fell for others when the other person confessed to them. He had seen it happen in several movies like 'the girl who leaped through time'. So hopefully it would work for Angol Mois too. "Yes." Saburo sighed.

Angol Mois didn't look too sure, since it was Saburo saying this. "How do I know you're telling the truth? Why hasn't Kululu told me?"

"Because he might not...Know himself." Saburo confessed. "Or he would rather die than tell you."

Angol Mois this time looked surprised. That sounded like Kululu.

"Heck! Maybe He'd rather you die than confess his feelings. Who knows? That sounds like Kululu." Saburo shrugged. He didn't know the full extend or Kululu's feelings.

Angol Mois looked at the ground. That did sound like Kululu. "I need to talk to him then."  
"No. I...I think you shouldn't confront him. He wouldn't give you the answers you want. It wouldn't be a good idea." Saburo shook his head. "You just asked what I thought and I told you."

Angol Mois nodded. She still fully didn't know if Saburo was right, but it sounded like a believable conclusion that he could draw from Kululu's actions.

Still she decided to ignore Saburo's advice and confront Kululu.

* * *

She decided to ask Kululu during work, while he was distracted.

"Kululu...Do you like me? Like...Do you have a crush on me?" She mused.

Kululu sputtered, slamming his fingers down on his keyboard. "W-what?"

"Well I mean I'm asking because Saburo seems pretty convinced you do. Don't worry I'm not convinced because Saburo's been doing a lot of crap because he thinks you or me like each other or would be a good couple. I just wanted to ask you, yourself, for clarification." Angol Mois replied. "You could say, I'm not getting the wrong idea?"

"Heck no! I don't have a crush on you." Kululu answered her question. "I'd rather the planet be destroyed than go on a date with you." He paused. "Ku, ku, ku. I mean I'd rather you destroy the planet, and I guess you could make the point that I sure would love to go destroying planets with you, but...uhhh where was I going with this? Uhhh Don't get confused. My love for your planet destroying doesn't mean I _like_ you." He said frantically.

Angol Mois wanted to sigh deeply. _How can he both say he doesn't like me and then hit on me moments later asking to go planet destroying with me and implying that the planet being destroyed isn't that bad so it doesn't help his point at all?_ Angol Mois wanted to shake her head.

Instead she leaned over to Kululu's seat, the one next to her, as if about to kiss him again. There was only one way to figure out if he liked her or not.

She waited to see if he freaked out or if he stayed put. He must have known at that point that she was going for another kiss.

She could hear him suck in an intake of breathe. He didn't move as she moved closer as if about to kiss him. She saw his hand reach forward for her hair again.

 _So he does want to kiss me!_ She realized. She pulled away. That was her answer.

He had been totally okay with her kissing him, in fact he wanted her to kiss him, about to kiss her too.

Kululu was blushing she noticed and frowning at her. He probably realized what she had done and was doing, using his body against him. He was way worse at hiding how his body reacted verses his words. "Ku. Low blow, Mois."

"What do you mean?" She played innocent.

"Didn't know you were a jerk like me who liked to play with people's feelings. Pretending you're about to kiss someone to see their reaction...Ku, ku, ku. Seems like something I would do." He pointed out. "Not that I'm not a little proud that you're picking up on my lessons..."

Angol Mois felt a little bad that he was so insulted and bitter. "I thought you're actions would be stronger than your words."  
"I don't like you, Mois." Kululu said harshly, hoping she'd get the idea. "And I don't want to talk about the subject anymore. I have tons of floor panels, I could banish you to an even deeper basement than this one if you wish. Ku, ku, ku. So no more talking about it."

Angol Mois frowned. Saburo had been right that he really, really didn't want to have feelings for her.

And she didn't really know how to reply. He had made it clear that he didn't want to talk about the subject. And she still wasn't fully 100% sure. After all he could just like kissing and be captured in the moment of hormones like her. He could definitely make a case for that, although he wasn't now. _Probably because that requires admitting he likes kissing me. I would have used that reason if he had asked, but..._ She didn't know how she felt about Kululu. She knew she loved kissing him apparently. Not much else.

So she didn't have a reply for his feelings.

* * *

Angol Mois was beginning to suspect that despite the fact that Saburo's words had come from a lie and no actual knowledge, she actually didn't know if she liked Kululu or not.

She knew or suspected Kululu liked or had a crush on her, at least a little bit, but she had no reply for Kululu. Nothing she could give him like a 'I like you back' she was just too unsure of herself.

She didn't want to think about it. She was too indecisive. Too embarrassed.

She wanted guidance. Someone to decide for her. That was something she knew she shouldn't want, she should take the responsibility of her own feelings, her own actions, but she didn't exactly know how.

She had gotten way too used to Keroro ordering her around. All she ever had to be decisive about was her love for Keroro. She had gotten spoiled. And now she wasn't sure how to make other decisions, have other feelings.

 _I'm pathetic. My feelings, who I love...It should all be up to me. It should be something only I know. Yet I've always relied on other people to tell me what's true or not. If Uncle says he's amazing than I'll believe him. It's as simple as that._ There were so many problems and faults with her too trusting nature.

She was just so lost. So confused. Maybe she was just so in a muddle of her own feelings that she wasn't sure how to accept if she did like Kululu.

"I don't think I can be together with Kululu, I just can't see myself together with him." Instead of asking for advice and guidance, she told Saburo a bit of a lie.  
She knew he'd give her the guidance on his own. She just felt too embarrassed to ask or wonder 'what am I feeling'. What were the differences between lust and love? Friendship and love? If Kululu told her that he loved her would she be able to respond in that moment that she loved him too?

What did she truly feel? She didn't know anymore.

Saburo frowned. "Kululu's a great guy. I know a lot of you don't think he is, thinking he's only a jerk with no feelings, but he can be helpful when he wants to be. He's helped me out several times when I needed him too. He's given me my reality pen. He's a great inventor. He makes funny jokes..." Saburo tried to tell her lots of good things about Kululu. "You'd never be bored around him if you were dating him. You'd have a great time even if it wasn't a full on deeply romantic relationship. You could start off casual and slowly fall in love?" Saburo suggested. "You two just would mesh real well together I think."

Angol Mois tried not to let her emotion show on her face. _You could say no wearing your heart on your sleeve for me?_ She knew she'd never be bored with Kululu. He was always really fun to be around. She knew she got bored listening to Keroro a lot and his lectures, but she needed more reasons than 'it's fun'. After all, not being bored and having fun with someone was a great reason to be friends to her. Didn't mean there was anything romantic there.

She loved her time with Kululu. She knew there were a lot of great things about him. It didn't mean that she was in love with him though. "I don't think we'd be good in a relationship." She tried to say. She wanted more advice, maybe Saburo would say something that would unravel the mystery and tell her if she liked Kululu. But really Saburo wasn't her and wasn't offering anything.

"I mean I don't think he'd take it seriously." Instead she accidentally frowned and voiced her real concerns and some of the reasons she had never considered dating Kululu before. "I don't think he likes me, if he does like me, enough for it to be anything more than a temporary fling. And that might wreck our work dynamic or friendship when it ended. That and I..." She stopped herself. She didn't want to continue. _Get a little disillusioned with love and exist only for it sometimes. It feels like a bit of a false reality, unreal. My opinions are always the same as the person I like and I can't form my own. And I respect Kululu and like him enough to know that is in no way healthy and would want to do something more real with him if we had a relationship._

It was incompatible on both sides- a relationship between them, she realized as she talked to Saburo. It made her feel a little better because it was giving her the answers she sought. It would get too unreal and over-the-top from her, which wasn't...that great and Kululu wouldn't take it seriously enough. Too opposite.

She dismissed the fact that she did want something real with Kululu.

"That's not true! He takes his friendship with me very seriously. So I think he'd take a relationship seriously too." Saburo frowned. _Unless you want to move away. Then he'll be quiet about it._ "I think you two are so perfect for each other that you won't have a temporary fling. You'll stick by each other. After all I don't think there's anyone else in the world who will tolerate Kululu and he's not going to meet another planet destroyer like you who likes technology. That and he's not getting over that sparkle thing." Saburo tried to explain. "You want someone who understands you too? Well Kululu understands you. He likes your destructive side, and I think he even likes your pure side. So I think you two have the potential to stick things through for life."

Angol Mois frowned. That was true, but she didn't know for sure. That didn't mean that she liked him still. Or that he liked her. Just that they sounded sometimes perfect for each other. They had a lot of common interests.

"Well then, I'm glad we'll be friends for life. That makes me happy." Angol Mois nodded. "That was always one of my wishes."  
She turned around and left since Saburo wasn't helping her sort any of this out.

Saburo sighed but did not go after her. He knew that she knew or suspected Kululu liked her. She hadn't mentioned it much but from their previous conversation he knew.

And because of his knowledge of movies he knew all he had to do was wait for her requited feelings to start budding. She might just be stubbornly sticking to her love for Keroro at this point. But eventually she'd start falling for Kululu since he liked her.

 _Just gotta get him to supposedly do more 'confessing like things' that ought to get her heart racing._ Saburo decided.

She would fall for Kululu. He would make sure of that.

* * *

Kululu wouldn't actually confess to Mois. But Saburo knew how to get her to think Kululu was confessing or at least feel like Kululu was being romantic towards her.

"Hey Natsumi. I bet you could really bond with some of your female friends if you got them to listen to Mutsumi's radio station more. I've heard that radio star is really dreamy." Saburo winked.

Natsumi was still rather awkward around Saburo after getting politely rejected. "I mean he is dreamy...You're right. Momoka doesn't really like listening to him though. Neither does Koyuki. She doesn't get the radio. Angol Mois I guess would like him?"

"Great!" Saburo smiled. The trap was set! And he knew Kululu wasn't able to rat him out about being Mutsumi.

He could impersonate a letter from Kululu on air and read it. She'd be swooning before he knew it.

* * *

Natsumi brought Angol Mois upstairs with her to her room when it was time to listen to Mutsumi's radio station, just as Saburo had suggested. Giroro was sitting on the floor too.

"It makes me feel bad to break up some special Giroro time with you." Angol Mois winced. "You could say threes a crowd."

" _ **You**_ could say that." Giroro grumbled bitterly. He thought Angol Mois made a fine point. He loved being alone with Natsumi.

Although things never usually ended well with Kululu, Keroro or Tamama interrupting his Natsumi time listening to the radio with her. At least the interruption had happened today sooner rather than later.

"It's fine, Mois. Giroro and me spend enough time together alone doing other things. You're no bother." Natsumi reassured. "And I'm sure you would like Mutsumi's radio station. It's really nice and relaxing."

"W-we do?" Giroro stuttered.

"Well yeah. We roast sweet potatoes together a lot by the fire." Natsumi replied. "So it's not like Angol Mois is stealing my time away. You already get way more time with me than her."

Giroro smiled a bit to himself. So he was closer to Natsumi than Angol Mois?

"Still...It makes me feel a little bad...Considering yours and Giroro's relationship." Angol Mois sat down.

"Relationship?" Natsumi asked.

"Silence, soldier." Giroro shushed. He knew Angol Mois supported him and Natsumi, he liked that. But he didn't want her to reveal too much.

"UHHH Friends!" Angol Mois lied quickly to hide Giroro's feelings. "Like me and Kululu, I mean...Not like me and Kululu. Definitely not on our level." _Considering I don't even know where we are at the moment. Our level's all messed up. I don't want to say our relationship is like Giroro and Natsumi's that's pretty much confirming that it's got some romantic undertones._

Giroro and Natsumi didn't pick that up. They were focused on something else. "You two are friends?" That was very shocking to them.

Angol Mois slowly nodded. "Oh look! The radio just came on!"

Mutsumi's voice was heard in all their ears. **"** **Today on MY Radio, we're going to read poems for all the lovely ladies there and talk about appreciating people."** His voice was soothing and sweet.

None of them realized it was Saburo, as per usual. He read several poems that were relaxing about appreciation, talked about philosophy and how much he loved each and every one of his listeners.

Natsumi giggled. Giroro was just lost in the fact that Natsumi was smiling and giggling and how beautiful she was hugging her pillow like that.

" **We'll read a letter by Giroppe first."** Mutsumi's voice snickered for a moment. Nobody realized these were some of his favorite letters since he knew who Giroro was. **"My warrior princess is the strongest thing on the battlefield. I think she's ginomours. Like that godzilla lizard. Ah, it's so nice. If only I could tell her how much I think she's like godzilla. I told her once when we were watching the movie after complimenting godzilla's tactic and she asked if I thought she was big and ginormous then. Of course I said yes. She got angry and left. I wish she would understand how great she is and that I appreciate her."**

"What an awful letter. Of course no girl would like being related to godzilla." Natsumi shook her head. "That guy's an idiot. I feel sorry for his girlfriend."

Giroro tried not to cry. Angol Mois pat him on the back. "You'll get better at it." She reassured.

" **Next letter is from a 966."**

Natsumi looked shocked. Kululu barely ever wrote letters to Mutsumi. And when he did they were usually targeting her and how awful she was. But that was clearly Kululu's name.

Giroro and her exchanged a glance.

" **The only time I ever feel like there is good in the world. Real good, is when I look at you. And for once that good doesn't feel bad. Everything feels like butterflies when you glance over and stare at me and I'm on cloud nine and I just die almost instantly.**

 **I think of you each night and day. Every night I yearn for you and dream about you.**

 **When I see you, I see sparkles.**

 **Words fail me a lot of the time, I don't think there are words to explain how much I care about you and love you."**

Natsumi started blushing a lot and put her hand on her mouth gasping. "Wait this is a love poem? Oh my god...I didn't think that."

"Don't think that, Natsumi. It hasn't ended yet. Don't get your hopes up. He'll make it jerky around the end. That's how he is." Giroro assured. There was always a trick to this sort of thing.

But the fake romantic letter continued. " **You're so terrifying! This love is truly changing me. It's disgusting!"**

There was silence. That...Really sounded like Kululu.

Natsumi and Giroro glanced over at Angol Mois. It was pretty clear this letter was meant for her after all.

Angol Mois was hiding her face. She was blushing and smiling too much and she didn't want them to see.

They thought she was hiding from shame.

" **I can't resisit your eyes, it's true…**

 **The destruction and technology we both love fade into the shadows…**

 **Around you nothing else matters, I'm just with you."**

Saburo's letter was getting more poetry-y. He just couldn't keep out the sappy stuff.

" **Your soul is pure, your heart is innocent.**

 **My heart is truly in your hands.**

 **I would touch and kiss you if I could till my life was done.**

 **You'll always be the focus of my plans."**

Angol Mois was just screaming into one of Natsumi's pillows now. This was way romantic even for her and she was embarrassed and she was dying and this was really cute.

"I got tissues too when you want to cry….There, there." Natsumi pat her back. She misinterpreted things as Angol Mois being uncomfortable.

" **I die around you and am embarrassed. It's terrifying, my love.**

 **But still Mois, every day I am thankful to the heavens above.**

 **Thanks for being in my life. You're the best."** The letter ended.

Angol Mois's face remained in the pillow.

"Well...That was unexpected….Where was the bad ending?" Giroro asked.

Natsumi had no words. She didn't really know.

" **Oooh! What a romantic letter! If I was the girl who got that I'd be swooning right now."** Saburo badly hinted. **"I don't know anyone who couldn't fall in love after they were written something like that. I mean it was some pretty damn good writing and poetry. Pretty romantic."** He complimented himself.

After a moment of silence to let that just sink into Angol Mois's mind he sighed. He had to move onto the more boring stuff then.

" **I suppose it's time to read Natchi's letter-"** He paused. He hoped it wasn't about him rejecting her.

"Ooh! Finally!" Natsumi forgot completely about Kululu.

At that very moment Kululu rose from one of the floor panels and into the room. He looked at the radio, took out a raygun and blew it up, frowning.

"Ku, ku, ku. Sorry, I'd say more, but right now I have to deal with a thorn in my side. A big thorn." He was ticked at Saburo.

He didn't even look at Angol Mois. If she was so embarrassed that she wasn't looking at him, that letter must have done some awful awful things.

He'd maybe talk after he chewed Saburo out.

He ran off.

"Awww, aww man! He got so embarrassed he took it out on me!" Natsumi frowned. Why was her life like this?

"I...I am honestly surprised." Giroro admitted.

Angol Mois just said nothing.

* * *

Angol Mois didn't know the letter was fake. After all, Kululu was too busy dealing with Saburo and telling him to not read fake letters impersonating him on the air to clear things up with her.

So just as Saburo wanted the poems and letters just sort of kept in her mind, sitting. She found herself doodling little hearts with swirls during the invasion meeting in her notebook.

 _It's cute._ She thought to herself. _It's cute him trying to woo me like this._ She actually enjoyed it. It made her giggle a lot and smile to herself.

Kululu wasn't looking at Angol Mois during invasion meetings. He was paying attention to Keroro's bad plans. _She probably knows they're fake. No need to tell her the obvious. That and if I did that it would sound like bad denial. I don't want to get into another conversation about my feelings._ He decided.

It took Angol Mois about three days to be able to think clearly. She was just too busy doodling, being lost in her own thoughts and oddly staring at Kululu sweetly, almost swooning a bit.

"Hey wait." She said to herself suddenly on the third day. Nobody was around while she was doing chores and her head was clear. "That letter wasn't from Kululu!" She realized.

Of course it was from Saburo. Saburo wanted her to get together with Kululu! And she knew the exact technique Saburo was using on her.

 _He's using that classic technique of making me think that Kululu's confessed to me so I'll fall for him. I've seen enough romances to recognize it._ Angol Mois frowned.

She threw her broom down. And worst of all it had been working too! She hadn't been able to think of anything but Kululu in the last three days.

 _Ugh...And now I've been thinking about Kululu and how he likes me but I can't ask him about it because he'd just deny it and all and I knew that..._ Angol Mois frowned. She wished she could just have an honest conversation with Kululu.

But Kululu was in no way honest.

If she was examining everything Kululu did for signs that he liked her too did that mean that she liked him? If she was getting blushy over little things like their fingers touching when she asked for chapstick, did it mean anything?

Saburo's trick was working. And she hated it.

"I won't fall for Saburo's mind games!" Angol Mois resolved. "And Kululu's! Doesn't matter how cute he is!" She frowned and covered her mouth.

 _Nope. Stop thinking that. You only think Kululu's cute and that he's involved in mind games with you because you've been looking at him like he's super in love with you._ She was okay now.

She knew who had written that letter and it hadn't been Kululu.

* * *

She got a little better, but not by much. She kept getting a little frazzled around Kululu, not because she believed he liked her, but just because she couldn't help it.

She finally decided that she couldn't take it. She needed to have an honest conversation with him.

They were working in silence. Kululu was trying to avoid any deep topic that didn't have to do with work.

"Kululu...I...I um...I don't have a crush on you." Angol Mois said mostly for her own sake. She needed to say it out loud just so she could believe it.

Kululu glanced up. "...Okay…." That had been out of nowhere. "I knew that already." He hoped this didn't have anything to do with Saburo's letter. He didn't want to have to tell her Saburo was Mutsumi.

 _She has been acting super odd..Man, I over-estimated Mois probably. I do need to clear up that letter._ "Mois, you do know that I didn't write that letter, Saburo did to get a rise out of you-" Kululu tried to clear up.

Angol Mois wasn't really listening. She already knew that. "But we could figure out if we could work out!" She didn't know what she was frantically saying. She had only really planned to say that she didn't have a crush on him.

 _Wow. I really am confused about my feelings._ She realized.

"Like we could go on a date." Before Angol Mois could stop herself or let Kululu get a word in she had finished her thought and statement. She covered her mouth. _God. Why did I say that? Nope. Nope. Why did I say that?_ She was super embarrassed.

This whole thing was getting to her. But she waited for Kululu to respond. To maybe look happy. She suddenly realized she didn't know if she had suggested such a thing for her sake, or just to make him happy.

She literally didn't know anything anymore. _He did say that blind date was a date...Maybe he'd be okay with one date._

Kululu looked confused, but examining her expression he was able to see more of Mois's thoughts than she herself was able to. He had always been really good at reading Angol Mois. _Ah. She still thinks I like her a bit or something. She probably wants to make me happy. She's always like that._

Well he wasn't interested in getting her affection just because she wanted to be a people pleaser. That felt like her and Keroro's relationship already.

She was covering her mouth to prevent herself from speaking more. "I mean if you want to. I mean we are friends, if you want to see if something would work… I mean just ya know?" She was kinda at a loss for words.

Kululu would have thought it was cute if it came from any place of actual embarrassment besides messing up her words. "Nah." He rejected her firmly. "I'd sooner die than date you. I mean, I wouldn't be able to jerk you around because you'd make me feel bad about it because you'd be so terrifyingly cute!" He pointed out.

"Oh okay..." Angol Mois paused. "That's kinda of a confusing reason..." That didn't make much sense to her. He couldn't be a jerk to her? Wasn't that a good thing?

"That and I don't want to be your rebound guy." Kululu shrugged, giving her a moment of honesty. Perhaps she was also suggesting this to finally get over Keroro. Maybe she had picked up on how gay he was. "I know it's a good idea to get out of your gross Keroro phase, but I can't help you with that. It's your own thing to deal with. Ku, ku, ku. You signed up for it by falling for Keroro."

Angol Mois nodded. That made a lot of sense. She did still have feelings for Keroro after all. _So...I can't like Kululu then. Since I like Uncle and all._

That was a relief. Kululu had helped her figure that out.

She was relieved that he had rejected her. But at the same time she felt a small amount of disappointment.

That disappointment probably wasn't important.

* * *

 **Please review.**


	10. Death

**Angol Mois probably does not deserve what she goes through in this fic.**

 **Anyway there's only really one chapter left after this.**

* * *

Although Saburo had been chewed out by both Angol Mois and Kululu now, he wasn't giving up. And the best part was that he could see that his plan was now sort of working on Angol Mois.

She was confused. He knew she was slowly falling for Kululu since when he saw them interact there was just this atmosphere of something being off, different. Angol Mois would sometimes get frazzled and look at him for a few seconds longer than usual.

She seemed a little out of it when talking to him, but would quickly try to cover it. It was clear that things were working on her.

 _I could use this._ Saburo decided. He knew she wasn't fully in love with Kululu yet. But she could be. If he pushed her a little bit more, she could fall for him.

She had great potential to like him after all. She had willingly kissed him, she enjoyed spending time with him. She trusted him, valued his friendship and thought he was a really cool person.

All he had to do was push a little bit more.

 _Geez though. I wish Kululu would stop being so stubborn. If he actually tried to win her over, I'm sure she would accept._ He knew she had liked Kululu's fake poem. She wanted his attention. Desired it. But she just wasn't going to get it because Kululu and Angol Mois were both idiots.

Saburo just sighed about how he had to continue sticking his nose into their business since they'd likely never sort it out themselves.

* * *

"You know, I'd like to apologize." Saburo told Angol Mois, sure he could push her a little more to act more frazzled and into Kululu.

"Apologize? For what?" Angol Mois asked. "The whole conning me thing? Everything you've done in relation to me and Kululu?"

"I apologize for saying he had a crush on you. I..It turns out I was wrong." Saburo lied.

Angol Mois took a step back. Saburo was wrong? What had changed his mind to drop the subject of Kululu having a crush on her? She was totally confused. "Huh?"

"Yeah, me and Kululu talked about it. I thought if I set him up with someone he'd be happier, less lonely, ya know? He'd have someone always by his side even when I can't be." Saburo gave her his real reasoning.

Angol Mois nodded. "Well, don't worry I'll-" She tried to reassure.

"I picked you to be by his side because I thought he liked you. I mean, it doesn't much matter who I picked as long as it was the person Kululu wanted. But hey, turns out he likes someone else, so I guess I have to start things over again." Saburo sighed annoyed. "I probably should have expected that he liked Aki when he said she was the most dangerous and most attractive woman on this planet."

Angol Mois frowned. "M-most dangerous?" She felt offended. _Oh yeah. Like a pekoponian woman who can punch things is more dangerous than a planet destroyer._ She realized that there were probably other things that Kululu had said about Aki that she should be focusing on.

But the thing was she could sort of believe the rest. Sure it made her feel a little sad, that disappointed feeling growing a bit louder in her heart, but it was believable.

"I mean I really did think he liked you, but...When I asked him his feelings about you, he said he didn't think you could cook curry as well as Aki or be nearly as sexy." Saburo sighed. "Honestly I think the curry was more important to him."

"He doesn't think I can make curry as good as her?" Angol Mois frowned. "Well that's just wrong. I'll show him. I'll make curry so delicious that he'll be like 'oh Angol Mois I'm sorry I doubted your cooking. Also I know you're more dangerous than anyone else. I guess I love you.'." Angol Mois mimicked Kululu's voice.

Honestly those were the only two things she was insulted by.

But it did the job. Now she was going to be trying to get Kululu's affection. Hopefully he took the cue and confessed to her.

When curry was being cooked, Kululu came out of nowhere always to find it. He had a kitchen in the base just for curry to be made.

He saw Angol Mois cooking up curry, she was dressed in a cute little apron. He noticed that she had stitched on little words on her apron that said 'Kululu's curry' and a heart.

"I wanted to stitch on the last word, chef." She explained looking at how confused he was. "But I ran out of letters. You could say, my bad!"

"Darn. I thought it either meant you were made out of curry or I got to eat curry off of you. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu sighed. "Although...That would be rather creepy if you were made out of curry. I don't think I want to eat any of my platoon mates so I won't make an invention like that."

Angol Mois looked at him oddly. "I made you some curry! I want you to try it and tell me what you think!"

Kululu sat down at a table. He was always willing to help someone improve their curry making skills through taste testing. "Technically I'm Kululu's curry chef you know."

She set the plate down. He wasn't picking up how cute she was and how cute she was being to try to do nice things for him and win his attention!

"But don't I look so much nicer in the apron? I look cute don't I?" Now Angol Mois was obviously fishing for compliments.

Kululu ate the curry. "Either go big or go home." He decided. "If you couldn't use all the letters for Kululu's curry chef, it would have been much easier to just write Kululu's with the heart on the apron. Ku, ku, ku. Would have made more sense too. Kululu's curry however just leaves a state of confusion." He gave a reasonable and logical answer and gave her advice.

Angol Mois frowned and pouted. "Would you have preferred that? Would I have looked cute then?"

"Ku, ku, ku. You'd look cute in whatever you wear. But you'd look especially cute in anything that had my name on it." Kululu grinned.

"Awww,,," Angol Mois was getting exactly the sort of compliments she wanted.

"Or you know, spirals, or my face." Kululu continued. "Please wear something with my face on it. Ku, ku, ku. I swear it wouldn't look creepy or weird. You'd look great."

Angol Mois just stared at him blankly. Why'd he have to always be like this? What was up with his desire to put his face on everything? She was just so creeped out. "No."

"Please…? Please pretty please?" Kululu begged.

"Maybe for your birthday. If you're super nice to me all year long." Angol Mois decided.

"Ku. Nice." Kululu grinned. She wasn't sure why he was so happy cuz that was a really weird desire to have.

"How's the curry?" She asked.

"Icky." Kululu frowned. "The secret ingredient of curry is always supposed to be love. But you put in too much love in yours. It burns away my insides. Ku, ku, ku. But it's curry so it's also delicious."

She wasn't sure if that meant he liked it or not. He was eating it hurriedly. "But am I a good curry cook? Like….Maybe second best in the Hinata House?" She knew he was first best.

"Ku, ku, ku! Well of course you're second best! You're my disciple! I taught you everything I know. Somebody been insulting your curry making skills, Mois? Because that's an insult to me and I will help you take them down." He eagerly told her.

Angol Mois smiled. It was nice when Kululu was on her side and complimenting her. It made her happy. _Guess Saburo lied about that. As usual. I should stop listening to Saburo._ She decided.

"Any...Other bad miscommunication this person insulted you about?" Kululu asked. He was beginning to suspect that this person might be none other than Saburo. And he didn't want another fight on his hand.

It was better to talk openly and honestly and sort through their issues. So he wanted to make sure Angol Mois was all good.

"Umm...You think I'm dangerous, right?" Angol Mois asked.

"Extremely. You could kill me with just a glance." Kululu reassured. "You're the lord of terror."

Angol Mois giggled and smiled to herself.

 _Man, that's a cute giggle._ Kululu tried not to think too hard about it.

"And umm...I know this is a weird question to ask, but..." Angol Mois frowned.

"Just ask it. We don't want another 'I apparently don't like flip phones' fight on our hands. I don't care how weird it is, as long as it's bothering you I might as well refute it." Kululu crossed his arms.

"I can be sexy right? Like at least sometimes? Right?" Angol Mois asked a little too enthusiastically. She inched closer waiting for the answer.

She asked it too innocently.

"You'll be pretty darn sexy when you're wearing a skirt with my face on it." Kululu replied. "The sexiest."

Angol Mois wasn't sure if that was the answer she wanted. "I think this conversation is over."

"Sorry, got to be a creep even when I'm reassuring someone. Ku, ku, ku! Glad we had a nice chat." He waved.

She walked off to think about if she was happy or just creeped out.

* * *

She was glad that they had talked it over and dealt with it. But she still felt a little odd. Not because she was worried any longer because Kululu had made it very clear, with neither of them mentioning Aki, that he found her curry the best, she was the most dangerous and she was attractive.

But she was worried because she had been jealous. _I tried to get his attention. I fell for that stupid plot so quickly._

She didn't want to admit she had been jealous, but she very much had been. _Ugh. I keep thinking about Kululu. Gotta get myself out of this Kululu obsession._ Kululu had already rejected her.

That and they couldn't mess up their friendship dynamic. It was too important. She could not allow herself to become obsessed with Kululu.

But she kept thinking about him like some sort of obsession. How nice it was that he counted her hits till planetary destruction, looking at fault lines with him, okay a lot of things that combined her other obsession, destroying the planet, with Kululu.

God, she really needed to stop thinking about Kululu. _Maybe if I spend more time with Uncle again...Yes, he'll remind me where my heart truly lies! He'll fix things!_

She had been spending less time with Keroro lately. Maybe it was the fact that he was avoiding her saying something like 'when you're around, Tamama's around,' poor guy still hadn't gotten over that truth or dare game.

Still she bounded over to Keroro's room.

"Uncle! I thought we could play board games, or watch something together or-"

"You could watch me build a gundam model?" Keroro suggested. "I'd love that."

He started putting the pieces together, lecturing on Angol Mois how important each piece was. "And I have to take things slow, gundam model making is very important you see...So important, more important than work."

"Uh-huh." Angol Mois frowned, barely listening to him. Hearing Keroro talk about his hobbies...Well she knew they were his hobbies and she had always tried to sound polite and like she was listening, but he never really involved her. That and she wasn't very invested in gundam building.

It was just weird. Something about spending time with Keroro wasn't that fun anymore. There had always been this sense of looming boredom, but she could remedy that with hope that someday it would get better and that Keroro would love and pay attention to her. But now it was like that didn't even help.

There was no chemistry, nothing torrid and romantic about spending time with him. It was like she had realized there were more fun things out there. There was even the occasional fantasy about kissing Kululu instead.

 _No! You gotta stay in love with Uncle! Mois get your head in the game._ She wanted to slap herself. _Think back to all your memories. All your attempts to win his heart. Remind yourself why you like him._

She just kept coming back flat. No matter how much she tried she just couldn't figure out why she liked him. It wasn't like he was her type, he didn't really share any interests with her. He wasn't ever interested in her.

 _Come on. What makes your heart flutter about Uncle? What makes you want to spend the rest of your life with him?_ She tried to remind herself.

And the only word or answer that she could find was nostalgia. There wasn't any other reason.

And now that the nostalgia was gone- well she couldn't fall back in love no matter how hard she tried.

She just didn't like him. She had fallen out of love. She didn't know when this had happened, just that it was. How long had she just been clinging to nostalgia? A week? A month? A year?

She didn't know.

* * *

It wasn't like just because she didn't love Keroro she was suddenly in love with Kululu. She still very much wasn't sure where her feelings were for Kululu.

"Could you deliver this gundam model to Keroro for me?" Saburo asked, Angol Mois. "It could help your relationship with him." He winked. He didn't like reminding her that she was in love with Keroro but he needed to figure out where her feelings were on the Keroro matter.

"You can probably give it to him yourself." She shrugged. "I...I don't really need to help my relationship with him."  
 _Uh-oh. Did they get together?_ That would suck. He knew Angol Mois had a life outside of him trying to set her up with Kululu, but he was instantly worried. "Oh? You two hook up?"

She shook her head. "I don't...Think I really feel anything for Uncle. I can't remember the last time I had any desire for him besides wanting his attention so he could appreciate me, or because of 'romance for the sake of romances' sake."

Saburo had to suppress the urge to grin. So she was falling for Kululu! She had finally gotten over the Keroro thing. "I'm sorry to hear that. But I won't bother you about it again."

She nodded. "Don't think that just because I don't like Uncle I like-"

"Kululu, I know." Saburo smiled.

"I was probably falling out of love for him for a while. So it's actually got nothing to do with Kululu." Angol Mois explained.

Saburo was honestly surprised by that. But if it had started before all this...He guessed he just had to believe her.

Still she only realized it now. That meant that she had to be falling for Kululu, right?

* * *

He needed to get her to confess. To herself, and to Kululu. And there was only one way to get her to do that that he could think of.

"Back to an over dramatic plan I guess." He sighed and laughed a bit. Sure his two last over dramatic plans had caused tears and a lot of anger, but this time he had no intention of manipulating Kululu. He had a plan.

Angol Mois's feelings didn't nearly matter as much to him as Kululu's.

" **Warning. Only for aliens and the extreme risk takers."** Saburo read his book, " **Faking one's death. Faking someone's death can get them to realize how truly they love the other person. You gotta get others in on the plan besides yourself, but it works despite it's extremeness."** Saburo didn't know if he trusted his wingman book.

He knew Angol Mois would cry, but she would realize she loved Kululu. And honestly she kind of needed the push.

"Other people in on it, huh..." Saburo frowned. He couldn't use Momoka's fortune to make it seem like the planet was in danger. She wouldn't use her fortune for something non Fuyuki related.

What else, besides Kululu and Momoka, had the instruments to fake that the entire planet was in such extreme danger from a force that wasn't Angol Mois?

Only one thing came up in Saburo's mind that was as dangerous. _The Garuru Platoon._ They had the tools, being an A class platoon, to freeze the planet just long enough to make things look in danger. They could also probably use their special effects to make buildings fall or something. If the Keroro platoon faced them and Angol Mois just came out long enough to see Keroro get defeated and for him to tell her that Kululu was dead...Well it would probably convince her.

They had the tools. But would they help him? It didn't seem high on their priority list, use their abilities to hook two people up. _Oh wait, they'll definitely help. I'm Kululu's best friend. And as Kululu's best friend he's given me all their black mail!_

In fact he had everybody's blackmail. The Keroro Platoon's, the Garuru Platoon's. He had gotten the Keroro platoon's on his own but he was really thankful about how Kululu had gossiped about the Garuru platoon to him.

He called them up immediately. "Yo. I need a favor." He said on a laptop computer screen. It probably wasn't the best software to webcam them but he didn't care.

"Ah, the pekoponian boy who we encountered. I don't know how you got this number, but we're busy." Garuru replied.

Saburo looked in the distance. They didn't look that busy.

"Pizza party! Pizza party!" Tororo cheered in the background.

 _Maybe it's a keronian thing to be a bunch of fools and incompetent to some level._ Saburo decided. "I need you to fake that the planet's in danger. Freeze it for like a few hours, dress up as some villainous aliens and pretend to take out the Keroro platoon and do some special effects to make it seem like you've been having this huge attack."

"And why the hell would we do that?" Garuru growled. "Pekoponian, I don't know if this is news to you, but we aren't as easy to exploit as the Keroro Platoon. We aren't just going to fly over to do your bidding..."

"I have all of your blackmail. And I will send find your families and send it to them." Saburo threatened.

Everybody looked shocked.

"What blackmail is it that you speak of?" Garuru remained calm and composed.

Saburo grinned. "Name's Saburo Hojo, and boy...Do you guys have a ton. But I'll start with the worst stuff first. Taruru, you draw your freckles on and have been trying to smear yourself in jelly in forests to attract beetles."

Taruru blushed. "ACK! Why are you telling people?"

Everybody looked at him. "Taruru is always like that. This is not so surprising." Garuru shrugged.

"Tororo, you're harassing multiple fast food chains twitter's. They don't know it's you though or your address. Would be a pity if they banned you from getting service." Saburo sighed.

"Pu. You wouldn't dare." Tororo just shook his head.

"Zoruru recites Shakespeare to himself when he's alone and likes to play spiderman back at Keron. He has fake web shooters that he bought at the toy store." Saburo continued.

Zoruru blushed a lot. "Y-you can't tell anyone. My reputation as an assassin-"

"Pururu not only has wrinkles that she tries to hide-" Saburo was cut off.

"I do not! I'm not old!" Pururu denied.

"She has a big crush on Garuru." Saburo finished.

Pururu blushed. "T-that...That isn't...That isn't true!"

"I've got more on that if you're not willing to help." Saburo replied. "But now I've come to the last member..."

Garuru looked at him sternly. His entire platoon was circling around him begging him to help Saburo because they didn't want their blackmail to be spilled.

"You bathe with rubber duckies and have like...a giant collection of them. You never take a bathe unless you have a rubber duck. Sometimes on a mission you don't bathe for a week because you don't want your duck to be on the battlefield." Saburo deadpanned.

Garuru looked ashamed as his platoon just laughed. "We understand the situation. You have us compromised. I don't know how a pekoponian got this information-"

"I'm Kululu's best friend. He gossips about you a lot." Saburo grinned.

"It always comes back to Kululu being a jerk doesn't it?" Garuru said harshly. "But we understand. We will do as you ask. Explain what you want."

So Saburo explained his plan. How everyone would be in on it except Angol Mois and how they were supposed to pretend to be defeated by her after they made her believe that they had killed Kululu, how they had to convince her by any means.

"Understood." Garuru nodded. "One question though."

 _Why am I doing this?_ Saburo wondered. "Yes?"

"Where will Kululu be in all this? I assume he's not in on the plan either." Garuru asked.

"Kululu takes a nap between 12-4. He likes working during the night. He'll be completely asleep. He'll just sleep through this whole ordeal." Saburo told him.

Garuru nodded. At least they didn't have to see Kululu's face on this Pekopon visit.

* * *

It was easy to convince the Keroro platoon and everybody else to be in on it. He just passed around slips of paper with their black mail.

"Read what I wrote to each and every one of you. I will reveal your secret to who you least want, if you don't help me with my plan." Saburo threatened.

Everybody looked hesitant. They all had so much blackmail that Saburo had just picked the easiest thing on the paper.

"Augh! I don't want everybody to know I'm a nerd!" Fuyuki shouted.

Natsumi sighed. "We...We already know." Saburo was lucky that most of them were stupid. Their secrets most everybody knew they just felt like they didn't.

"We...We agree to your conditions, Saburo." Keroro nodded. He had to keep his secret a secret no matter what! That he was writing a 50,000 word gundam slash fanfiction! "So...We gotta keep this from Mois and Kululu?"

"Why?" Dororo asked. "Why do we have to get Angol Mois to believe that Kululu's dead? Won't she be sad?"

"I mean I can understand using this to get another to appreciate someone, but..." Natsumi frowned. "Kululu's the one who needs to appreciate her more. Not the other way around."

"She needs some help overcoming something and I want to help her." Saburo replied. He needed her to overcome the block in her feelings, to figure it out for herself. Even if he had to simulate pain. "And I want Kululu to be appreciated. I'm Kululu's friend."

They nodded. They all felt bad for Angol Mois, but they cared more about their secrets than her.

"Will she really care though?" Tamama asked. "I don't think life or death mean a thing to that woman."

It was true, this could blow up in Saburo's face. But he had to believe.

* * *

The plan started at 1, when Angol Mois woke up and when Kululu usually was asleep for about an hour already.

She didn't think the day would be anything odd. She went out shopping, not paying attention to how frozen the world was.

Holographic buildings crumbled around her. Pretend laser light shows shooting at things.

"Well that's odd..." Angol Mois decided. "Hmm...I hope there's a sale at the supermarket."

Her cell phone rung as she was shopping, trying not to bump into all the frozen people. It kind of reminded her about how the Garuru platoon had frozen the planet, but she didn't care enough about that issue.

 _You could say, not my problem?_ She decided. She'd just stay out of it if there was another fight. She really hated being stuffed in that angol stone.

Her cell phone rang she picked it up. "Hello!" She said in a chipper voice.

"M-mois...Where are you? Aliens have been attacking for the last twelve hours. The world is in dissaray. Everything is dying. A race that looks a lot like the keronians but have cloaks on called the Jekels have attacked..." Keroro explained.

"The Jekels, huh? Odd...I've never heard of them...Maybe I destroyed most of their planet and forgot?" Angol Mois wondered

That did explain the frozen people and the crumbling buildings.

"Stop being casual! The Keroro platoon is fighting for their lives! Where are you?" Keroro demanded.

"Uhhh...Supermarket. There's a sale on meat today. I was wondering about all the weird stuff." Angol Mois replied.

"We need you, Mois! I don't know if Giroro can continue fighting, I'm hiding right now. Tamama just got blasted and Kululu well..." There was sadness to his voice. "Just come now!"

 _Wait...What happened to Kululu?_ Keroro had let the sentence hang there. She wasn't sure what was happening. "I'll be right over. I'll be right there." She promised and hung up.

She dropped her bags and removed her disguise and flew.

* * *

She knew the Keroro platoon had faced hundreds of alien foes before. There was no reason to worry, she told herself.

These would be beaten in a second. But she still couldn't help but worry about Kululu. _What did he mean 'and Kululu…?'_ Kululu wasn't the type to heroically sacrifice himself and throw himself in the fray. But if these were intelligent aliens they'd target him first as the most dangerous and capable.

Kululu's technology always saved the Keroro platoon's skins. So he was the most of a threat.

Angol Mois landed by the front of the Hinata House. The Garuru platoon had used some teleportation to send the top of the house to another location so it could look like it was just entirely gone, only the basement left. They'd put it back and things would be fine later.

She saw holographic broken things everywhere. Garuru in a cloak with a fake lizard tail on smacked Keroro towards a fence like was planned.

"Uncle!" Angol Mois ran over to him.

"Mois. You came." Keroro groaned, remembering his scripted lines. "You...Gotta defeat these guys. Giroro took the Hinatas to safety...Dororo I think is helping Tamama hide while he's injuries, and Kululu..."

"Planning a counter attack? Shouldn't I join him in the base then?" Angol Mois asked. "I can take you to safety, Uncle."

Keroro shook his head weakly and took her hand. "I'm fine, compared to him. Kululu...He...They struck hard and fast. He's..." His voice was shaky. "Kululu's dead. They killed him."

Angol Mois dropped Keroro's hand. She just stood there for a moment. _No. No that can't be._ She couldn't process that. Couldn't accept it.

Perhaps it was fake like a lot of other stuff that had been happening to her.

She couldn't lose Kululu. She would see him again. He wasn't dead. She wouldn't never ever see him again.

"Mois? You're kind of silent there?" Keroro told her.

Garuru did his best to fake growl. He really did feel sorry for Angol Mois. She looked like she was in shock.

"If it makes it better, the rest of us are all alive! I mean, it was just Kululu anyway." He had never seen Angol Mois so shocked so Keroro tried to reassure her.

"J-just Kululu? Just Kululu!" Angol Mois snapped. "Kululu was my best friend! He was...So important to me. I...I won't ever see him again. N-no. He can't be dead! T-that's not fair! I...He was one of the few people I would have not wanted dead a-and..." Angol Mois stuttered and hiccuped. "I will never see him again. H-he's gone. And there's nobody like Kululu in the entire universe." She was crying now.

Keroro kind of wiggled away. He had done his job and he didn't really want to be here when she blew up on the Garuru platoon. The reason they were an A platoon was moments like this when they would no doubt have to flee from Angol Mois's rage.

"Are you going to swear revenge, Angolian?" Garuru growled.

Angol Mois didn't recognize his voice. "Yes."

Garuru flew up into the sky with the rest of his platoon. "Well then we will flee. At the present moment we could not defeat you."

Angol Mois flew into the sky after them. She hit them with her spear just as they teleported away back to their ship. It looked like she had hit them though and they used more holographics to make it look like they landed on the ground dead.

"There wouldn't be anywhere you could flee that I could not find you. After I mourn...You'll all be gone anyway." Angol Mois frowned

Garuru had the sinking suspicion she was talking about either an extreme number of planets including Pekopon, or the universe. _Thank god Kululu's just downstairs in his base sleeping. Because if he actually died….._ He didn't know why he had agreed to tick off a planet destroyer. When she found out they were in trouble.

He flew his ship off far away.

Angol Mois dropped to the ground to cry as soon as she thought she had defeated her foes. Everything still looked destroyed. She wanted to ask how Kululu had died, where was the body, but she just couldn't get the words out.

"M-mois…? You okay?" Keroro finally stood up and brushed himself off. He had never wanted to traumatize the poor girl, even if it meant protecting the secret of his slash fanfiction.

"H-he's..H-he's really gone! A-and I wasn't there for him, it just all happened so suddenly. Just yesterday we were talking! Laughing and joking! A-and I was like 'I gotta stop obsessing over Kululu I mean it would be pretty bad if I liked him or something it c-could ruin our friendship' but like...Death ruins friendship. Not feelings! K-kululu's dead." Angol Mois just bawled.

"Ummm…?" Did Angol Mois like Kululu or something? Keroro kind of wanted to keep out of this whole kurumois thing. He didn't want anymore of them sucking faces. "There, there."

Angol Mois slapped his hand away. She ran off to go to his lab. Maybe the body was there.

She willed her legs to move as she just left.

* * *

She felt so empty when she broke open the lab door with her lucifer spear. She couldn't knock if Kululu was dead.

She walked in. Everything was fine and untouched like normal. Like Kululu should be there.

Her eyes looked around the dim light weakly. She saw Kululu on the ground as if everything was fine. He hadn't even fallen asleep in his bed, he had kind of just rolled out of his chair and curled up on the floor like a cat. Junky empty snacks surrounded him.

 _Is...Is he dead? Is this how he died?_ What if the aliens hadn't even killed him? What if he had choked on a hamburger?

She sniffled and cried. _I loved you. I really did. I'm sorry for not being able to face it. I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner. I thought I needed time, I could have that time, but...You were killed by the aliens/hamburger too soon._ She grabbed Kululu on the floor and let out a loud wail of a cry. "Kululu! Kululu!"

Kululu opened his eyes, the getting grabbed and loud noises abruptly waking him. He wasn't sure what was really going on. He yawned.

Angol Mois was about to drop him on the ground, but she frantically caught him before she dropped him. "K-kululu! Kululu! You're fine! You're alive!"

"Y-yeah?" Kululu was so sleepy. He had done too many shifts. "Let me go back." He said sleepily. _To sleep._

"No. You're never dying again." Angol Mois squeezed him tighter. "I...I thought I'd never see you again. God, I love you so much! Please, don't ever do that. I was so frightened. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to see you. I just...I love you, Kululu. I really really care for you and love you." She was blubbering and crying again.

She was so shocked he was fine. So happy he was fine.

"mmkay." Kululu just kinda nodded it off. He was only half listening. It was clear from how tight Angol Mois was holding him that she wouldn't let him sleep anytime soon. Had she had a nightmare or something?

"I love you so much. I'm in love with you. I'm just so glad you're fine. Who knew caring for someone could bring them back from the dead?" Angol Mois asked. "I love you." She just kept repeating those words as if they would keep Kululu there, alive.

She still hadn't fully realized that she had been tricked. It had been such a large scale trick after all. And Keroro had been in on it. And she didn't think Saburo could pull all this off.

 _Wait...Mois loves me or something? Is she half-asleep?_ "Mois, I'm sleepy. What's bothering you. Did you have a nightmare? It's fine. I'm here." Kululu wasn't very good at reassuring words or anything like that but he tried to put his hand on her cheek and caress her cheek.

He wanted to kiss away her sadness. But he wasn't sure if that was the sleepiness talking.

"Y-you died! These aliens, the Jekel, attacked and all of the planet was in disarray and everything was frozen and buildings were crumbling from things other than me..." Angol Mois could barely breathe.

Kululu fully woke up. She was really scared. He touched her arms gently as if asking for her to let him go. She shook her head.

"I love you. I love you so much. I'm not letting go. You'll leave. You'll be gone." She just shook her head.

"I gotta get to my computer. Here. You can hold my hand if you're that worried." Kululu reassured. He wasn't sure why she was saying all this stuff, but he did know she was really worried.

The freezing people thing reminded him of the Garuru platoon. He wondered if this sort of insistence on holding him was from a nightmare or her actually being conned into thinking he had died.

She nodded and let him go, holding his hand, he led her to his computer. He started typing on it to check on satellites and things like that.

It was very easy to figure out what had happened. The Garuru platoon had visited and everything was exactly the same and fine now. "I assume this was another plan by Saburo or something. I should have known he'd be like me and use that blackmail to benefit him. Ku, ku, ku."

"S-saburo?" Angol Mois asked.

"I...I think he might have tricked you. I've been asleep down here. The Garuru platoon dressed up as some aliens and attacked and from what it looks like in the satellites, Keroro then told you I was dead...And you had an extreme reaction like any normal person would if there friend was injured." Kululu replied.

Angol Mois shook her head. She was super angry. "Saburo! Garuru Platoon! Uncle! I can't believe they all tricked me!" She hissed.

"Ku. Yeah. Sorry about that. But it's all good now." Kululu tried to pat her head.

"I thought you were dead. I missed you...So much, Kululu. It hurt so much. More than anything. You're the one person I can't lose." Angol Mois held his hand tighter.

Kululu wanted to comfort her and hug her. She was no longer crying but she looked angry. But he was so sleepy. He just yawned again.

 _Wait. She said she loved me. Like that she was in love with me. That's...Not really the extreme reaction a friend would have._ Perhaps they'd repeat over and over again how much they loved their friend but she had been so insisted that she was in love with him.

She had confessed to him. The dawning realization of that made his glasses crack, his eyes widening.

He let go of her hand and covered his face as she continued to look at him. "S-stop looking at me!" He was getting incredibly embarrassed and frazzled.

Angol Mois actually liked him. And she had told him. He knew. And she knew he knew.

He didn't know how to deal with this. _Kululu is shutting down._ He felt like a computer's voice said that in his head.

He shut down and just slammed his head into the keyboard.

"Kululu!" Angol Mois was super worried.

"I...Ummm...Uhhh..U-uhh I'll deal with Saburo and the Garuru platoon. Ku, take revenge on them for you and all so could you leave for like a moment?" Kululu stuttered out.

She nodded. She left trying not to think about what she had said, how she still felt sad over thinking Kululu had died.

She just left like Kululu asked her to.

* * *

 **So many words and they still aren't really together.**

 **Please review.**


	11. Paper

**I actually finished this story after all this time. I am glad too. It deserved to be finished after having such nice cover art.**

* * *

Angol Mois was getting a little better as she walked through the hallways, just happy that Kululu was alive. After at least a few hours of checking out the Hinata House and making sure everything really was fine, Angol Mois realized all the things she had done.

 _Wait...I...I confessed to Kululu! I was so shocked by him dying that I just started telling him how much I loved him!_ She did like him. She had realized that and thought she had realized 'all too late' when he had supposedly died.

She had told him all about her feelings. She had just cried to him and held him, and the memory and realization of that made her explode in blush.

There was no going back from that. She didn't think she could hide the knowledge that she liked Kululu to herself. That and it would be a disservice to Kululu. _You could say no take backs?_

What was she supposed to do now after this? Hope that he had been so sleepy that he hadn't realized how much she was telling him she loved him? No, he had realized that she had confessed to him at the end. That was why he had gotten so embarrassed.

 _I could tell him I was just being over-dramatic because I thought he was dead._ No Kululu was way too smart to believe that, that it had just been a spur of the moment sort of thing.

He knew when Angol Mois was being genuine. And she was being very genuine when she had told Kululu how much she loved him. Her entire heart and soul had felt it, and she knew her heart was all his.

It wasn't that she was afraid of him rejecting her, per say. She had gotten rejected time and time again when she had been in love with Keroro. She was very used to getting rejected. What she was worried about though was that Kululu would tease her.

That was just the sort of person Kululu was. He was a jerk till the end. And he would use Angol Mois's newfound feelings to put her through a roller coaster of emotions, laughing at the end as he pulled her along on a string.

He also would just use the opportunity to embarrass her. She had the suspicion that Kululu wanted revenge for the years of embarrassment he had endured at the hands of her sparkly eyes.

It was very likely that Kululu would tease her. Incredibly likely. And she had to decide what to do about it.

 _I know._ She realized. _He already knows about my feelings. I already know about my feelings and that he knows. Why not just stand tall?_ She didn't need to get embarrassed.

If she just was proud of it and accepted it there was no big deal about him teasing her.

Why hadn't she thought of this before? This would be easy.

* * *

Kululu did not guess that she would take the honest route. Angol Mois usually surprised him like this.

But during the next day when he had implemented plenty of revenge for the fake dying thing, he sat next to Angol Mois during work trying to keep his head clear and remember all the things she had told him.

 _Ku, ku, ku. Might as well have some fun with this. Even if she just said it because she was being over-dramatic because she thought I was dead._ It was time to tease. "Mois, my dear, would you hand that flash drive over to me? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu asked.

"Of course!" Angol Mois smiled and handed it to him. Kululu held her hand instead of letting go when she handed him the flashdrive.

He waited for her to start blushing, or tug away. She did not. Instead she gave that innocent smile that he hated so much.

"You wanna hold hands? Well that's surprising. Not that I have a problem with it." She held his hand tighter.

 _CRAP. She's found my weakness. Reversing my teasing and just acting affectionate._ No. He wouldn't lose. Kululu couldn't lose. He had the upper hand. After all, she had said she had feelings for him. He hadn't said anything of the sort.

"Mois, I had no idea you wanted to hold my hand so much. Maybe if you beg a bit I'll let you. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu teased.

Angol Mois thought for a moment. "Okay. Please can I hold your hand?"

Kululu tried not to have his jaw drop open. She was too affectionate for him. "Hmmm….Not begging enough." He dropped his hand from hers. This was blowing up in his face. "Maybe if you tell me how great I am~."

"You're super cute, and really amazing, Kululu. I value you highly as an important person in my life." Angol Mois told him easily.

Kululu eased up a bit. _Just the normal sort of compliments._ He breathed a sigh of relief. Friendly ones. So it had been a mistake that she had confessed to him. No wonder his teasing wasn't working.

He went back to work, ignoring her compliments.

She frowned. Why wasn't he paying attention to her? He had asked her to pay attention to her. Was he bored of teasing her already?

She just had to continue owning it. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"W-what!? W-what was that f-for? What did I do?" Kululu asked. He could feel the place where she touched burning. No doubt his flesh was now burning off instead of the more obvious that he was getting embarrassed and much warmer.

"You were being cute. I liked looking at you and I wanted to touch you. Was that okay?" Angol Mois asked.

"Malfunction immediate." Kululu said in a robotic voice. He then died on the computer.

Angol Mois looked concerned. _I...I just kissed him on the cheek. Why did he even try to tease me if he was going to die so quickly?_ She felt really worried.

Could she even have a crush on Kululu? Or was this making his lifespan significantly shorter from stress?

She didn't know.

* * *

Kululu watched clouds with Saburo on the roof of a school. He was glad to be away from Angol Mois and not dying. Saburo's time was growing shorter too from his transfer.

He was still super mad at Saburo for faking his death. Although he didn't have any negative repercussions from it, he had slept through the whole thing, he worried for Angol Mois's mental state. He had forced Saburo to apologize knowing that it was probably him who organized it.

Now he hoped things were mostly cool between them. He couldn't be too mad since he'd probably do the same if he suddenly decided that he wanted to hook Saburo up with some chick.

He couldn't say he wouldn't use the same mean techniques.

"I'm glad things ended well though.." Saburo sighed. "I was really worried about you and Mois."

"Hmmm?" Kululu was confused.

"But in the end you got together. She confessed to you, realized she liked you, and you two are happy now and are there to help each other." Saburo smiled. Kululu would be alone no longer.

"We aren't together." Kululu corrected.

Saburo bolted up. "W-wait. But...Didn't she confess to you?" He had thought that as soon as Angol Mois confessed Kululu would be all over her.

After all Kululu liked her. The only thing frightening him was that Mois didn't like him. He wasn't allowing himself to make the first move so he had organized it so Mois made the first move.

"Yeah. But now she's acting all weird. K-keeps looking at me a lot. Ugh! This is all your fault you know. Now she thinks she has some crush on me when she doesn't-" Kululu groaned.

"I thought you'd ask her out after she confessed. Wait, you're still afraid of starting a thing with her cuz...You somehow still think she doesn't like you?" Saburo just frowned. What was Kululu's problem? He had handed him Angol Mois on a silver platter, totally and hopelessly into him.

"I don't like Mois that way for the last time! Ku!" Kululu denied. He was still frightened, still nervous and afraid. His teeth were chattering. "I just wish she'd go back to normal. This is going to be awkward on the both of us when she realizes you were playing with her feelings."

Saburo just frowned. _Why is he so insistent that Mois doesn't like him? She's probably been all over him since his fake death happened._

Why wouldn't Kululu just stop being stubborn and date her?

Kululu got up to leave if Saburo was going to continue talking about Mois.

"Date her." Saburo requested. He didn't really know what else to say. "Ask her out."

"No." Kululu said harshly.

"I'll pay you." Saburo was desperate.

Kululu looked mildly interested. He did like being bribed. "One date?" Perhaps he'd be able to get Mois off his back too. If she realized that she didn't like him while on a date they could get over this weird bump in their relationship.

Saburo nodded. _Let's just hope that he's so enamored with her on that date that he asks for more._ He thought he might be. The last time Kululu and Angol Mois had gone on a date, Kululu had texted him and sounded pretty into it. By the end he hadn't been but he had suspected Angol Mois had said something Keroro related.

She wouldn't this time. There was no risk of things going wrong.

"One date." Saburo agreed.

Kululu nodded. Perhaps this would make Saburo feel less worried about him since he was leaving. That and he wanted the money.

* * *

He didn't exactly know how to ask Mois out without giving her the wrong idea. He decided to just try to be casual.

"H-hey, Mois." He greeted, drinking some coffee in the morning.

"Hello! It's great to see you!" Angol Mois smiled.

Kululu tried to ignore how honestly happy she sounded to see him. "I um...I have some free time later in the day...I was wondering if you maybe wanted to join me and go out?"

"Sure." Angol Mois replied.

 _Wait. Gotta make it into a date. Know she's usually pretty dense about that._ "Go out, like...See a movie or something. Ya know, normal date locations. Ku, ku, ku."

Angol Mois turned a little pink. She had thought Kululu had just wanted to hang out. She tried not to smile a bit to herself, but she couldn't help it. "Y-yeah. That would be fine."

 _Cute._ Kululu tried not to look at her. "Great! Then we'll go in a few hours."

Angol Mois nodded. She hadn't really expected them to have some sort of over-dramatic talk about their feelings, them, or even just her feelings, but she also hadn't expected dating to be so sudden.

 _I mean..Maybe I should have expected it though. Kululu and I have been hanging out and doing date like things for a while. This is just the first time both of us have agreed that it's a date._ Crap she had been way too close to Kululu before.

Why hadn't she realized she liked him for so long? She was a mess. A mess of a person.

* * *

He felt really bad about how he was doing this date for money, so Kululu quickly resolved to make this as nice of a date as possible for Angol Mois, since she was getting the short end of the stick.

He knew he couldn't afford to let himself enjoy this. After all he had agreed to go on this date just for the money. The money, he kept telling himself. _I am not using it as an excuse just to get my stupid body to have the courage to go out with Angol Mois._

They walked together talking about various inventions and tech. Eventually they reached the movie theater.

"What kind of movie do you want to see?" Kululu asked casually, tugging at Angol Mois's hand. He knew of course what she would answer. _Some sappy love stories. Yuck, I hate those. They're so incredibly bad. I like making fun of them because they're so predictable but she doesn't appreciate that._ Still, he'd be good for at least one day.

"I'm good with anything as long as its with you. I know you don't like...My tastes in movies." Angol Mois frowned. She liked the tear jerkers and romances. "So we can see a horror or something."

"Good pronunciation." He was glad she hadn't confused horror and 'whore' again. God he didn't know how badly he'd just be laughing if she suggested seeing a 'whore' film.

"Ku, ku, ku. But won't you enjoy a romance more? I mean, it is a date..." Kululu frowned. He didn't know if Angol Mois would enjoy a horror film as much as him. She might be fine with the violent bits but she'd probably act scared from the jump scares.

"Horror movies are good for dates too." Angol Mois smiled. "I mean I would grab onto you and cling to you whenever I got scared!" She smiled.

 _God. I would die in a second._ Horror movies really were frightening. He wouldn't be able to take his eyes off Mois because she'd be so darn cute. "You know what? I'm suddenly in the mood for a romance or like...one of those boring—I mean totally interesting stories about a boy and his dog. Ku, ku, ku."

"Okay! I mean I do love romances. And we can hold hands and cuddle a lot during that one too." Angol Mois smiled.

Kululu wished there was a pill he could take to not die. Because he was in for a wild ride involving a lot of death.

* * *

The love story was really badly written and sappy. But Angol Mois fell for it, hook line and sinker. She just kept crying and smiling rooting for the main couple to get together.

"Do you think she'll end up with Roberto or Gerard?" Angol Mois asked every now and then. She would cuddle up to Kululu.

"I don't know. They're both like...the same boring guy." Kululu didn't want to sound irritated but the story was so bad.

Angol Mois kissed him on the cheek. It short-circuited him for a few minutes, not like he missed anything important in the movie.

Angol Mois was being really cute during the film, demanding most of his attention. So the experience wasn't all bad.

 _If...If she actually liked me and we did this more often I suppose I could stand to go to more romance flicks with her. It's not unbearable._ He decided.

It felt nice, being close to her, hearing her breathe and being able to lean his head on her arm. It was nice, calm and relaxing.

* * *

They didn't immediately go home, they did other things like walk around the park, go bowling, bio-engineer ducks to be man eating at a duck pond, and just spend time with each other.

Eventually the day grew closer to night ending the date. Kululu and Mois started walking back to the Hinata house.

"This was a really great date! It was super fun! I had a great time!" Angol Mois smiled.

"Y-yeah. It was fun. I'm glad you had fun. Ku." Kululu smiled. Now he didn't feel so bad. Angol Mois was smiling after all. And she had had real fun.

Angol Mois leaned down to kiss Kululu on the lips.

 _I know where this is going._ Kululu realized. He knew they were alone and nobody was around, that dates sometimes ended with kissing. He knew they had kissed before and that his body did tend to betray him and accept Angol Mois's kisses.

But it would give her the wrong idea if he accepted this one. That he was totally into her or something. So he darted away quickly.

Angol Mois frowned and stopped herself from kissing him. She brushed some hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. "Would you like to do this again sometime?" She asked. "Since this date went so well..."

 _Uh-oh._ She was asking him out. And Kululu had agreed to one date. "Um...No thank you." He rejected.

Angol Mois looked shocked. She tried not to let herself look hurt. Kululu had been the one to ask her out. So why didn't he want to go out with her again? "Was...This not very fun for you?" She asked. Maybe Kululu just hadn't felt the connection she had.

"No, it was really fun!" Kululu reassured. "It's just...I only planned on one date."  
 _I'm confused. Is something happening? Is he going somewhere like to America with Saburo?_ Was this a good-bye date? "Why?" _Is this a keronian custom?_

Kululu winced and swallowed. The right thing to do was tell her the truth. And she deserved it. "Saburo...Kinda paid me to go out with you today. I agreed to one date, which we had. I umm...I hope you're not disappointed?" He hadn't acted too close or given her the wrong impression at any time.

He knew admitting that he was paid to do this probably would make her sad. He probably shouldn't have accepted the pay at all, because that made Angol Mois just a transaction. He hoped honesty made the whole affair a bit better.

Angol Mois looked visibly hurt.

Kululu regretted his actions.

"I...I thought you liked me though..." Her eyes widened. "You really acted like you liked me."

 _So she did get the wrong idea….That's probably my fault for asking her out._ "Yeah I can understand how asking you out would give you the wrong idea..."

"No, I mean before asking me out. You were fine with kissing me, you seem just embarrassed about the whole thing." Angol Mois accused. "But...I guess I was wrong." She frowned. "I like you, Kululu. So what's so...wrong about me that you either don't like me or keep insisting that you don't?" She just looked confused.

Kululu knew this conversation was coming up. This was the first time she had said she liked him after the fake dying ordeal. "I...I just don't think starting a relationship would be a good idea." He decided to be honest with her.

"Why?" Angol Mois asked.

"I mean it would end pretty quick. And although you might be fine, I..." _I would be hurt._ He was still so afraid to start anything with Angol Mois. "Ku. To be honest I really don't believe you like me. I think you think you do, maybe. But you don't."

Angol Mois looked perplexed. _I had way too much faith in him that he wasn't an idiot._ She realized. Now this reason sounded like Kululu. Being very insecure that she didn't like him when she just kept saying it. "Kululu. I like you. I love you. Why the heck don't you believe that I would know how I feel?"

"Ku. Maybe it has something to do with just the fact that last week you were in love with my captain." Kululu shrugged. "I think maybe you got over him, but are kinda trying to figure out your whole life now and where you stand. You're moving on from one target to another since he was a big part of your adolescence." Kululu pointed to himself. "Enter me. You just thought I died and so you felt some strong emotions, obviously. Mistaking them for love you, you thought that you liked me and that everything was sorted out. Ku, ku, ku."

His reasoning...Was unfortunately very easy to understand. It made Angol Mois frown. It wasn't true, but she could understand why he was worried and why he hadn't approached her to talk about her 'love confession' now.

"So...You think my feelings are just me replacing Uncle with you?" Angol Mois asked worried.

"Yep. But hey, I want no part in that. Probably shouldn't have asked you out today if I wanted no part in that though. Ku, ku, ku. That was stupid of me." Kululu decided.

Angol Mois nodded, agreeing with him. "I don't...Feel that way, Kululu. I don't know when I fell out of love with Uncle. It could have been months, or a year. But you're not his replacement." She tried to reassure. "You could say, one and only?"

Kululu tried not to listen to her sweet words. "That's what you say now, but just like he was replaced, I'll be replaced soon too. Then you'll leave." _Everybody leaves. Just like Saburo did._ "And I don't want to get invested into something bound to explode."

Angol Mois wanted to pick him up and hold him. But he just wasn't listening to her words. _He's projecting that Saburo thing onto me._ "The planet will explode. Not us" Was the only real response she had.

"Ku." Kululu nodded.

"I'm not going to leave you, Kululu." Angol Mois tried to insist. "I love-"

Kululu cut her off. "Give me a reason. Why do you like me then?" He asked, hoping to out-smart her. "I bet you got nothing."

Angol Mois was at a loss for words. She had a thousand reasons. But none she really had the current words to express. Her feelings were very new, she had just accepted them. So she only had the words to describe that she loved him.

There were so many things she liked about Kululu, how smart he was, how he talked to her about tetonic plates, how he looked excited whenever he had an idea, how quick he was at building things. But for some reason when she opened her mouth she couldn't say those things. There was just confusion at why he couldn't understand that she cared for him. There were so many good things about him. Why couldn't he just accept her love?

"That's what I thought. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu grinned. He turned around and went back inside the house.

Angol Mois frowned. She had frozen up and messed up.

She needed to fix this. She now knew that the real reason he wasn't talking to her about it wasn't anything to do with his feelings, he was just really insecure and frightened.

She didn't want him to have to feel that way.

* * *

She had a plan. Her mouth had failed her figuring out the reasons she liked Kululu, but her words might not. _You could say, tongue tied?_ If she wrote it out she could give it to him.

She knew she was more of the type to be won over by big romantic gestures, but she really felt the need to reassure Kululu.

So she got a bunch of pretty paper and wrote out everything she liked about Kululu on different sheets. Sometimes it was big things like 'How you've always been my best friend,' 'How you comforted me when Tamama and Keroro were bothering me', 'How you're the only person who talks to me about planetary destruction,' but other times it was little things like 'I like your smile.' or 'You have nice hands.'

It was a long task, but eventually there were 1000 reasons. Angol Mois smiled and tied a string around each paper.

Now she just needed to sneak into Kululu's lab when he wasn't around and hang them.

That was a lot simpler of a task than she had thought it would be. Kululu was off doing work and talking to Keroro so she was able to get in his lab very quickly. He hadn't yet replaced the door she had destroyed.

She had hung most of them when Kululu walked in to her rummaging around his lab.

"What's this? Ku." He asked. He kind of wanted to scold her for making a mess but he wasn't sure what she was doing. If it had been anyone else in his lab without his permission he would have scolded them.

"I couldn't get the reasons out of my mouth yesterday. You could say, froze up?" Angol Mois hung the last piece of paper, like it was a little wish.

Kululu wasn't sure what the papers were but it was decorative at least.

"So I wrote down every single reason I like you and hung them up. I'm not mad at you for doubting that I'm in love with you and making dumb decisions based on that, I just want you to know to know it's not true. I want to be there for you and make you feel less insecure about yourself." Angol Mois smiled

Kululu opened his mouth unsure what to say. _I...I can never predict what this girl is going to do._ He hadn't expected a gesture like this. But it did sound like a grand huge gesture that Angol Mois would do. She was always worried over small things and had correctly deciphered that Kululu was insecure.

He didn't know whether to be frightened of the cards or touched that she had made all of them. She stared at him waiting for him to read one.

He hesitantly pulled one down from a string.

"I love you because I love watching you work on inventions. It's amazing to watch you create things." He read.

Angol Mois smiled. "Do you like it?"

Kululu pulled more down and read them to himself. He couldn't help but smile. He never went for romantic stuff. He didn't particularly like romantic stuff, but now he could see why Angol Mois swooned over it.

It was nice to hear all these things. It made his heart pound and made him feel all sorts of mushy happy feelings. But oddly enough he didn't want to get rid of the happiness. He just wanted to steam in it, and enjoy it.

"Y-yeah. It's pretty cute. Are your hands okay? I would think they would cramp after writing so much. Ku," Kululu tried to make casual conversation, but avoided her eye contact.

Angol Mois smiled. "They're fine. You know I write a lot when I did Uncle's homework, so this is easy in comparison." She replied. She offered her hands over to Kululu if he wanted to look at them though and was still worried.

He saw what she was doing and took her hands in his. He closed her hands and held them gently.

She just smiled and stared. He wished he could get her to stop somehow.

"Fine! You broke me down!" Kululu shouted out. She was staring at him too long. _Honestly she could have probably gotten me to agree to a relationship just by staring at me. I mean I still would have been worried it would end, but...I can't refuse Angol Mois._ "We...Can start a casual relationship or something. Ku. You're so cute."  
Angol Mois squealed. She hugged Kululu. "I'm so glad! And don't worry about what happens afterwards...I trust you Kululu." She told him. "We're good friends. I know we can recover from whatever happens if something does happen. We've recovered from so much more."

Kululu nodded. A casual relationship wasn't bad. It would be slow...He could get into it. "Ku. Y-yeah. We can do what you suggested earlier. Figure out if we work well together by...Going on small casual dates. Just having fun. Nothing over the top. Ku, ku, ku."

He didn't know if he could survive over the top. That and what if he wasn't romantic enough for Angol Mois's tastes? He had to warn her ahead of time.

"Okay! We go slow and figure out if we work well together!" Angol Mois agreed. He was still in her arms.

She squeezed him tighter and pulled him into a tight kiss before he could stop her. He didn't stop her when she pulled away only to start covering the rest of his face in quick, sweet kisses.

Kululu didn't stop her. He just grinned and accepted the kisses, even if they were innocent.

"Oops." She said only after she had covered him head to toe in the cutest and most innocent kisses. "Sorry! I just got so excited about the fact that you had finally accepted and I was your girlfriend."

 _That's cute._ Kululu couldn't help but being completely enamored with that answer and just how into him she was. He loved how she kissed him. He stroked her hair.

"I know...I need to go slower. Especially since you're afraid of me, and honestly I don't know if you'll ever get over that." Angol Mois replied.

"I won't. Doesn't mean I don't like kissing you though or...You in general." Kululu replied. "And I do have years of torture that you've put me through to make up for." He mused to himself.

Angol Mois's mouth opened. "What do you mean?"

"Ku. If you can cover me in kisses, I assume I can too? And I have a lot of waiting to make up for." He hadn't suddenly realized he liked her after a snap of a finger after all. He had been in a lot of denial for a long time.

Angol Mois didn't know what he was talking about. What had he waited for?

Kululu started kissing her neck, slowly, but not in the least bit as innocent as her kisses. It was still loving but it had a lot more teasing to it, like he was moving around from spot to spot just to get a sound out of her.

He did get exactly what he wanted and she pulled him away from her neck to kiss him on the lips again. This time Keroro and Dororo weren't there to stop things and Kululu was way more teasing than Angol Mois had envisioned.

Kissing him was way more over the top than she had expected. He at first slowly and teasingly sucked at her lips, moving slowly against her, but it got a little quicker and more ferocious when she found her mouth opening against his and his tongue entered her mouth.

"Mmm..." She pulled him closer. She liked this. She liked this a lot.

They kissed like that for a while. Things got a little more hurried once his lips left hers again, she only moaned a little in disappointment until she realized he was kissing her neck again.

"N-not fair. I thought we were going slow. M-making out like this seems a little intense for like..the first day of a relationship." Angol Mois told him. She wasn't telling him to stop though or pushing him off. In fact she was stroking his back as if to get him to continue, she liked this far too much to want to stop.

"Ku. Don't want to go slow on kisses or anything above." Kululu joked.

"Kululu! That's intense!" Angol Mois was shocked. _I mean...I knew that was the type of person he'd be, but like...still intense._

"Ku? What can I say, I thought we were just two some stupid crazy people in love..." Kululu told her.

Angol Mois smiled. That was not only the first time Kululu had accepted that she loved him but used it in terms of both of them being in love. That included him.

He kissed her more and Angol Mois had to re-position herself so that Kululu's hands would stay on her waist only.

"And what can I say? Ku, Ku, ku. Mois you're dating a jerk now. That means I'm going to tease you a lot. I can tease you as much as I want, when I want." He glanced at Angol Mois a bit hesitantly as if to confirm this.

He still didn't really want to touch her without her permission.

"Suddenly, I regret everything." Angol Mois teased sarcastically. She kissed Kululu again as her answer before he could take her words too seriously.

* * *

It took three days for Saburo to see them walking around town, Kululu in Angol Mois's back pack with his anti-barrier on and whispering something into her ear and her laughing.

 _I wonder how things are doing between them._ Saburo walked over.

Kululu kissed Angol Mois's ear lovingly.

"Kululu. Not in public. Everybody would get weirded out if I started blushing and they couldn't see you!" Angol Mois tried to tell him.

"Maybe I want that~. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu flirted.

Saburo frowned. So his plan had worked? They were together? Why hadn't they told him about it then? He would have thought he would have been the first person Kululu informed.

"Hey, Mois, Kululu." Saburo waved.

"Hello!" Angol Mois replied.

"Hey. How are things going? You found an apartment in America?" Kululu asked, trying to still keep the sadness out of his voice about that.

Saburo nodded. "Everything's sorted out. I'll be leaving by the end of the month." He glanced at them. "I...I see you two are together."

"Yep." Angol Mois replied. "But it's totally casual, so don't think that it's some torrid romantic love affair."

Kululu rolled his eyes. "You got me saying I love you 50 times per day."

"How else are you supposed to get over your fears?" Angol Mois replied. "And I say it 100 times!"

Kululu's gaze softened. "Love you. Your so cute."

Saburo was a little weirded out but happy. "Why...Didn't you tell me?" He asked. He kinda thought he was the most invested in this issue, he wasn't sure why they hadn't told him.

Kululu shrugged. "Forgot."

 _Bull crap!_ Saburo frowned. "Well I'm glad I was able to help you two realize your love for one another." He smiled. At least all his plans had paid off.

"Ku. Yeah, right. We would have gotten together eventually without your help." Kululu was an ungrateful person. "I mean Mois would have been seduced by me and realized it, you hindered a lot more than you helped."

"Kululu. I got you two to kiss and got her to realize she liked you. And you never ever would have made the first move." Saburo frowned.

Angol Mois nodded. Saburo was kinda right. She was still mad about that whole fake dying thing but Kululu would have never made the first move.

"Ku. Your wingman skills suck. This had nothing to do with you." Kululu shrugged. He still seemed mad that Saburo had gotten involved at all.

"Kululu...I only did it for you." Saburo tried to tell him. "I...I was so worried about you about how I was going to America."

Kululu looked up, confused.

"I thought you would be lonely." He explained. "You really had no one else besides me. You needed someone who would stick by your side over everybody else. So I thought I'd get you a girlfriend..." He explained.

"He wouldn't have been lonely. Even before all this, I would have been by his side." Angol Mois reassured. "So there was no reason for you to butt in thinking he would be lonely. I would have never left Kululu."

Kululu glanced at her, touched by her words yet again.

"You should have talked to me first about your concerns, first, Saburo. We could have talked about how to make your transfer to America easier on Kululu so you didn't pull so much crap that made Kululu uncomfortable and still worries me." Angol Mois frowned. "That and you two could have spent more time together before you transferred."

Saburo nodded. He didn't want Kululu to get too attached though to him. And he had a girlfriend now that he no doubt wanted to spend time with.

"Ku. I can still spend a lot of time with Saburo now that he's not bringing up Mois all the time." Kululu decided. "Gotta make the most of the time left."

"Shouldn't you spend time with your new girlfriend?" Saburo frowned.

"She has a huge lifespan. I got plenty of time. That and she'll be at home when I come back. Right, Mois?" He nibbled on her ear again and whispered something no doubt raunchy from how Angol Mois blushed.

She put her hand on Kululu's face to keep him quiet. "Saburo. I'm Kululu's friend first, his girlfriend second. He won't be lonely when you leave. And I'll be fine if you and Kululu spend time together. I want you to spend time with one another!"

"I've always been Kululu's friend and always will be. So there's no reason to be worried about Kululu." Angol Mois continued to smile and reassure.

Kululu smiled at her words, completely falling for them and in glee from them. He turned her face to the side so he could kiss her or at least try to kiss her. It was a little sloppy but they kissed for a minute.

Saburo smiled. He was glad Kululu was happy.

"T-thanks, I guess though for thinking of me." Kululu finally said after he withdrew himself from Angol Mois. "I'm glad you chose to try to hook me up with her, than some other stupid idea. Ku, ku, ku."

"Y-yeah. I mean since you had a crush on Mois I don't think I could have gotten you together with anyone else." Saburo pointed out.

"That and she's the perfect one for me! I mean I'm dating the lord of terror now. And she's super smart and she's destroyed more planets than any other angolian and she's the most beautiful thing in the world..." Kululu began to boast lovingly about how cool his girlfriend was.

"Kululu! You don't have to tell everyone we come across that you're dating the lord of terror. It's kinda weird." Angol Mois teased and scolded, but she still smiled stroking his head.

Kululu sighed. "Fine."

They were a great couple. Saburo could really see how much they loved each other. He was happy for them.

* * *

There was no longer any doubts in his mind about him leaving. Saburo knew when he came back Kululu would be happy and secure.

"So...You're really okay with me leaving?" Saburo asked when they were alone. He knew Kululu wouldn't be lonely.

"The sky doesn't stop being the sky. It doesn't become boring." Kululu told him. "Ku, ku, ku. You'll be the same Saburo I always knew when you come back. My best friend."

Saburo smiled. "I'm glad you'll be okay. I'm glad things will be fine. And thank you for supporting my dream."

"As Mois says, you could say, break a leg? Live your dream, kid." Kululu smiled.

Saburo had done enough for him. He would be fine. And he would visit him.

He was glad that Saburo could go without any regrets.

* * *

 **I'm not very good with fluff fics or slow burn fics but I like reading them. Since I resolve to write what I like to read I want to write more of them. However I have no ideas or things to have in a fluff fic.**

 **Please give me ideas.**


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